Redundancy

[Suesue]

Hi I'm fairly sure I'm going to be made redundant in the next few days. The process has been long and irs been looming for some time. I'm a solicitor. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and sad and angry. I don't really like my job but the income and role has given me my identity for a long time. I think it will be very hard to find a new job. There's a shortage out there. I'm scared. I've been here 9 years since I qualified I'm institutionalised I guess. The fact I'm turning 40 next week is not helping. I'm single so feel like what have I done with my life I've given it all to a job I don't like and now I'm going to be spat out.
I've isolated myself a bit cos I'm off the booze. At times like this I'd hit the alcohol heavy. I'm not going to. I know if I do it will destroy me. I've too much to lose.
I can't seem to stop crying when I think of the redundancy and the fear of the unknown. I'm trying to be positive.
I'm thinking of getting some Xanax to help me through the next few days. I can't talk to anyone bout the job without bursting into tears. I feel weak. I'm afraid I will crack.

[DreamThinkDo]

Redundancy

Sue, my heart breaks for you - been there a few times, and it is so difficult, because it erodes one's self-worth. So true what you said about identity: we do see ourselves in terms of our job.

A few pointers: update your CV, and start sending it out if/when it happens - and it may not happen - but any little pro-active thing you do now will make you feel better. And if the worst happens, you probably won't feel like doing much, least of all putting yourself in a positive light.
Network, but very discreetly - the company may make you redundant, but will still not like it if you send out feelers on their time. So contact people that you think may be able to help after hours.
If you've always dreamed of doing something different, now may be a good time to look into that again.

I assume there will be some form of pay-out, which should keep you going for a while. I really hope so - that's some weight off your shoulders.

And you're so right about not hitting the bottle now - it won't change anything, and will cloud your thinking at a time when you need a clear head. You said that you feel weak - remind yourself that if you've managed to become and stay AF - and it takes a strong will to do that. You are not weak - sad and confused and uncertain at the moment, but definitely not weak.

Stay strong - I'm thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts.

[Change]

Redundancy

Yeah, now is the last time you should crack. You'll need your resources to bat for yourself.

[Guitarista]

Redundancy

It's also an opportunity that has presented itself Sue. An opportunity to re-assess where you are going, and take off on a new adventure. Scary maybe, but exciting!

Best wishes friend. Take care.

G bloke.

[Suesue]

Redundancy

Its been put back to January thank god. I feel a lot better. It will give me time to get used to the idea. Feel more calm now. I'll take today to get myself together then I'm going to get working on my cv. It's still scary but I've a bit of breathing space now so I'll do what I can to prepare myself. Thank you for your replies.

[j-vo]

Redundancy

Sue,
Congrats on your sobriety. You have a clear head now to go through the changes that you want and desire to make. If you were drinking, there would be no going forward. So good luck to you and your endeavors!

[Siren136]

Redundancy

My job is being relocated to a state where I have no friends or family, and I really don't want to move to, so I'm feeling a bit like you. I went on vacation last week and met a very young couple, who I became friends with on Facebook. I looked at her page and she has her own business. She started her own company in her early twenties. It took a moment for me to wrap my head around this fact. It's a travel business. I thought 'I can do that'.

Bottom line: don't sell yourself short or set limitations on yourself.

[Pavati]

Redundancy

Suesue:

I like G-man's spin on things. Use this as an opportunity to look around and see what else is out there. You might like it. Get your CV ready and make plans as if it was definitely going to happen so you won't be scrambling at the last minute.

You certainly won't like it if you're drinking, so stay strong.

[spuddleduck]

Redundancy

suesue, sorry things are looking grim. I recently lost my job and chose to have a drink (I wasn't af but was doing ok) BIG MISTAKE, it ended up with 2 weeks of daily (or near enough) drinking, crying, self pity, random text/phone calls and all the rest of the misery that goes with drinking. in the last couple of weeks ive come back to mwo after a long break and reduced the drinking. and started looking at the positives.
I understand the money worries and the status/self image thing (which for me is worse than the money loss), what I am trying to do is use the extra time well. its giving me space to concentrate on me, giving me time to come here and reinforce my reasons for addressing my drinking issues. without wanting to make light of your situation it is always said that when one door closes another one will open. try and keep positive... and if you are made redundant just think of all the cleaning/decorating/cupboard tidying that needs doing.

[YouKayBee]

Redundancy

You still got us and although it doesn't feel like it you are a strong person.

[Suesue]

Redundancy

Thank you I'm feeling better. Going out for dinner tomorrow with friends. They will all be drinkimg but they know I won't be. So hopefully it will be a good night chance to get dressed up and just out stresses out of my mind and just focus on the positive. I ffeel stronger. I def don't want yo drink even more sure than ever cos if I don't I have wits about me I'm sunk. Need to keep sharp and drinkimg just is a depressive so I'm thinking I'm proud that I'm holding strong to my resolve not to drink. If I hold strong to that no matter what happens il be ok.
Thanks all. X

[free at last]

Redundancy

Dear Suesue,
Remember how strong you felt when you were mountain climbing in Africa this summer? Bring those memories to forefront as you start to think about what you want to do with this change.

I am a big believer that instances like a future layoff, while scary from a financial point of view, are a huge opportunity for change. When I was in my late 40s, I quit a high power job that I was miserable in. Didn't have a clue what was next, but focused on my well being for several months especially what did I want. That respite launched a whole different international aspect to my career and life--and I have been richer (emotionally and financially) for it.

Glad to hear your AF resolve is so strong.