Rock bottom, yet again...

[imatree]

Hi friends,
I've been here nearly two weeks. Did fairly well with moderation for awhile. But once I ordered the book and Kudzu it was like a license to drink all I want for one last binge. So here I am again. Hungover (still a little drunk) and feeling like ... well, you know.

I read the book in a day sunday, am waiting for kudzu and cd's. I have most of the supps already in my cabinet. I've decided to tell my doctor everything and ask for Topa. As others have said, I'll do anything. It's funny how so many of us are reluctant to take meds (myself included, been an organic food eater for years) when we have no problem pouring booze down. I'll do anything at this point. For me, for my partner, mostly for my sweet precious daughter.

The best part about finding this site and forum - is in reading all your posts I realize that there are a whole lot of wise, good people out there with drinking problems... makes me get easier on myself. I used to think well, I'm not as good a person as I thought I was, since I drink so much. But here I meet one after another Good People persons.

I wish everyone peace and freedom from the monster of alcohol.

[Lorelei]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Ahh, the last binge! I've had so many of those. It looks like you meant it and are ready to make some serious changes. Congratulations on making changes for the better!!

-Lorelei

[Kathy123]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Forget it, look ahead, roll up your sleeves and give it a fresh start. What you're embarking on is not easy. Forgive yourself and move on.

This site also helps me feel like I'm not a "bad" person, b/c I see I'm not alone, and I see that it is indeed very difficult to control this monster. It's a vicious (sp?) cycle, b/c the more I would drink, the guiltier I would feel about myself, embarrassed, etc., and that would stress me out, and so I'd drink more. Once you break free of that cycle, at least for me, it is snowballing and giving me renewed strength every day to keep these AF days going. I think "No one can take this (i.e., sobriety) away from me!" There's a song with those words... No you can't take that away from me... No, you can't, take that away from me (Frank Sinatra). I think of it a million times a day.

Sorry so long. Best wishes to you!!
Best wishes,
kathy

[bluesky]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Same problem here, I only started yeaterday and completed my 1 day AF but now I've just gone and ordered the cds, books, supps. and am panicking, heart racing, head thumping and am on the brink of stopping at the store on the way home from work so I can get as much packed in before my package comes through. Help.

[Accountable for Me]

Rock bottom, yet again...

imatree & bluesky - it is perfectly normal to feel the anxiety of quitting drinking. It has been a part of your life for many reasons. Ultimately you won't be losing anything - you will be gaining a brand new, fulfilling life. Maybe make a list of why you want to stop. Maybe one of pro's and con's about drinking and put it somewhere where you can read it often during the day?

There was a thread here months back where someone made a list of 'reasons why not to drink' that was awesome although I can't remember who it was. Maybe someone will know and can post it for you guys who are just starting out?

[Gargykath]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Hello everyone

Am new here. I had my last binge last night as well - champagne, wine, lager and cider oh and an alcopop and about a million cigarettes........

My friends came round to help me yesterday and I promised them would be more positive but what do I do get pissed again.

This looks like a good website so am going to use it

[eg]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Wow, I don't know how many times I've drunk my last beer and smoked my last cigarette. I did it last night for the 10,000th time. I’m so glad I’m not the only one. It’s crazy and I’m sick and tired of it. I just want to move on with my life already. It’s time, I’m 52 years old and I just want to be healthy and normal. Is that too much to ask? Why do I have to make it so difficult? Why can’t I listen to myself and others when I know what’s right and what’s wrong? It’s such a strange thing to sabotash yourself again and again and then do it again for no good reason. eg

[MDBiker]

Rock bottom, yet again...

I really admire you guys for trying to quit without any help, but you should not be so hard on yourselves. :bang The only thing that has changed for you so far is the support you have found and the hope of a new life. Until you have the tools, it is really hard to do anything different from before. Rock bottom is a good place to start from. ?I?ll do anything? is a wonderful attitude because the only way left is up. :thumbsup Most people keep drinking for a while even when starting on the topa. It doesn?t work immediately, and it isn?t a cure all. It is a tool you can use along with the other parts of the program to get back to having a life again. Don?t get discouraged at this point. ull The best part is just around the corner. Remember, we are just getting started. We all have so much to we want to accomplish, but we are all just getting started. :huggy

God Bless,
Bear

[Gargykath]

Rock bottom, yet again...

:thanks: :new:

The thing that panics me is the withdrawal. I went to see my GP (not sure what that is in America - local family doctor basically) and he told me not to worry about it. But then he is a boozer and smoker as well........

Does anyone else binge smoke as well when they drink - for me I can not smoke for days but as soon as theres a sniff of booze around I turn into a puffing machine.

[Kathy123]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Ditto to MDBiker/Bear. Well said, and I especially like the way your message is punctuated with all those animated things. Haven't figured out how to use those yet. Still feel new.

[Gargykath]

Rock bottom, yet again...

I live in London and it is nice to see posts from the USA - I had a lot of fun last year on my first trip to the US. Fantasic place. Your Vegas was too much even for me.

[Accountable for Me]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Welcome Gargykath! Glad you have found us!

Not great news about your GP being a drinker and a smoker. That is pretty uncommon - at least it seems to be uncommon.

'BINGE' is/was my middle name. Although at times it should of been my first name LOL! I binge drank and binge smoked when I was drinking. My husband thought I was NUTS the amount I smoked while drinking. Chain smoker - that was me!!! I do smoke about 10ish a day or more (depends on how bored I am) at the moment. Just bought some Nicorette and will attempt to quit smoking now after my last two are done.

Once you cut down on the drinking (or quit) you will find you won't be smoking as much anymore. But know you are not alone - that was me!

Again, welcome!!!

[Kathy123]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Gargy--

Please try not to panic over the withdrawal. I've read a lot about it, and if you told your GP how much you've been drinking and for how long, he surely would tell you, or provide you with medications, if there were any worries about "withdrawal" being an issue.

The most realistic, possible physical "symptoms" would be maybe having a hard time falling asleep for a few nights, maybe a few headaches. That's not so bad, right? The book I read had a whole chapter that was meant to reassure people about the common fears regarding withdrawal. For me, it helped me realize it was a non-issue (at least in the vast majority of cases). The way the author put it was the rhetorical question, If you quit drinking, are you going to die?? Of course not. I know that sounds kind of extreme, but it helped me at least psychologically to remove that worry from all the things bouncing around in my head, and to move forward.
I hope that helps.
Best of luck to ya!
--Kathy

[Gargykath]

Rock bottom, yet again...

Hiya Accountable for Me

Thanks for your reply. Sometimes when I am drinking I try and light one when am already smoking another how mad is that !

There are loads of healthcare professionals who drink and smoke over here according to our press, and teachers and such.

I also binge eat the next day as well. Have started to control that. I am making some salad nicoise for tea just now nice and healthy with lots of green stuff. And drinking lots of tea.

BTW I like your cat thing - I have a cat called Billy who is black.

[Gargykath]

Rock bottom, yet again...

:thanks: The websites I have seen bang on about epileptic seizures so thats reassuring was a bit worried about that.

I wish it was tomorrow when wasnt hungover am going to have nightmare getting to sleep will end up all anxious watching telly till 4am.