Newbies in Need May day 9

[Janice]

Hi everyone, hope everyone has a good day today. Do you know, I really look forward to coming on this thread - day 10 for me and no cravings yesterday (probably cause I was out of the house!!) I must admit it is difficult when you're in all day but be strong everyone, its worth it. See ya tonight! Janice

[aduggan]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Thanks Janice. Saved me a job this morning. Day 14 for me today. Can you believe that two whole weeks! Never, ever done that before. Really pleased with myself. Don't believe I could have done it without all of the supplements and the topa, they really have taken the cravings away (or lessened them). Have been a bit lapsed with the CD's and exercise, just been so busy. Have a good day everyone. Amanda

[imdone]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Hi all, I'm glad you are all doing so great. Don't you feel TERRIFIC?! This has been a wonderful ten days (or 11?). I wish I could go back and put that stupid glass down 20 years ago.
I've been a bit emotional today. Not sure if it has anything to do with the physical change my body might be experiencing without the alcohol. I feel no cravings but there must be a change happening. Is that why I'm weepy today? I ask myself if it is the realization that I wish I could go back in time and relive all those nights without drinking. It's hard to look at it all now so clear. All the wasted time on the phone, the computer, drink in hand. And the kids wanting my time. Babies then and so big now. I need to concentrate on the day at hand, and the future. I can rearrange it all because now I am clear. I can put the priorities in make sense order.

[bluesky]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Dear Janice and Auduggan and all Members
May I join this daily gathering, even if this is only my third day of being AF? Please and thanks?
I'm finding it OK so far (even though it's not that far!) but don't feel that I'm being really challenged yet as I just haven't been buying any wine and not meeting friends for lunch, dinner, etc. I would be terrified if I had to attend a social event or meet friends - so until now I haven't had any temptations.
Like you Auduggan I am living in France and as you previously said the wine just flows and flows and isn't there just something about the ambience that just make you want to have that apero on the terrace whilst watching the world go by, then it just goes on and on doesn't it? - I'm always able to find excuses to find that special ambience that makes you want to drink. I get so jealous of people who can have their one or two and then say "No more thanks" oh how so much I want to be like them. Anyway, maybe that will be me in the future, but for the mom it has to be total abs. one day at a time.
In the meantime I'm awaiting the arrival of the book, cds and supps. Not sure if I can take the TOPA as I'm on other medication trying to keep cancer in the background so might check with my oncologist (how embarrising to let him know I have a serious prob. cringe cringe) so I might try to get along without the TOPA.This web site is a cure in itself.
How humbled, self-loathing and disgusted I have felt with myself to see how happy, relieved and grateful my wonderful family have been to see that I have managed to abstain for two days. Even though it has only been two drink free days, they are so happy and relieved to see that I am "trying" once again to stop and yet in the other sense terrified in case I fail yet once again - you can see it in their eyes. My 14 year onld daughter is rushing to put the kettle on when I get home from work "TEA MUM?" terrified in case I might reach for a cork screw instead - how sad is that? Why do I put them through it - nobody deserves this much pain. That in it's own should stop me from touching the stuff, seeing the pain I put my loved ones through. What a demon this drink is. I hope this time around it's going to work and then I can maybe go onto moderation but I have done so many embarrising and awful things in the past and hated myself the next day, promised myself to stop that same day then find myself on automatic pilot popping a bottle the very same evening. I hope I can do it this time and feel more confident now because of all the wonderful people at MWF, so let's see, one day at a time. I can't wait for the book, cds, supps. to come, has anyone any idea how long they will take to get from the States to Europe? Wish us all luck on our journey.
Speak soon.

Thanks for listening to my babbles and hope it makes some sort of sense.

Bluesky XX

[bluesky]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Dear Imdone
Congratulations on your 10/11 AF day that's wonderful. I am not very skilled with words but can only simply say that I also wish I could have put that wine glass down 20 years ago (or even more) and feel sick to the stomach when I think of the waste of precious time with our loved ones and the pain I have put them all through (it doesn't bear thinking about does it?) and I'm sure many of the other members will relate to how we feel. I also feel weepy and want to cry at the pain and the waste of precious time gone by. I just try to keep telling myself that it could have been so, so worse and that at least our families have stood by us. I'm sure there are others out there whose familes have long since parted their ways.
You have to remember that we ourselves have suffered also and we must try to stop beating ourselves up and instead try to look towards a different future one without the alcohol. Well done, stay strong and have a nice day, Lots of hugs.

Bluesky X

[bird]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Hi all,
Day 4. I got sick at work yesterday with high fever and had to come home.Felt so bad layed on couch and cried.Later diareah. I hurt all over.Might go to doc later.At least it keeps me from drinking.Latrer.bird

[aduggan]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Bluesky. YOu are so, so welcome. GReat to have another francophile on here. It is so hard in the land of the vin rouge. I know exactly how you feel. I think your post was so honest and it really touched me to the heart. Keep on going, I think you are really brave to start before the supps and CD's have arrived, mine took about 8 days to get here. Where in France are you, would be great to meet up for a coffee? Amanda

[bluesky]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Aduggan
Thanks so much Amanda for making we feel so welcome at a time when I need it, I am really touched at your kind words. I also think you were so so brave the other night being able to sustain when the wine was flowing during your evening with family and friends, aghhhhhh don't think I could ever achieve that.
Glad to know that it should only take a bit longer than a week for the support to come through. Never believed in any of this stuff before but it seems to be helping everyone else out there, so ready and willing to give it a go, I do know one thing for sure and that is that this WEBSITE and all you great people on it have helped me tremendously. Thanks to each and every one of you and may many, many other people be blessed to find our site. Speak soon and good luck with the B&B (it is a B&B?). Have a great day and thanks again,

Bluesky X

PS - I'm living in the region "01 AIN" and you?

[aquamarine]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Hi Everyone- Congratulations on day 14 aduggan - that is really wonderful. Be proud of yourself. Welcome bluesky- and congratulations on day 3. It 's good to have you here. Imdone- I can so relate to wishing I had stopped drinking long ago. It's so hard to think of what I have put my kids through at times. I try to look forward and just try to make things better. On positive thing is that hopefully my kids will have a deep understanding of the terrible damaging side of alcohol use. I'm hoping that my downfall and hopefully successful struggle to overcome this problem will allow them to avoid developing and suffering with the same thing when they are older. Since I started over yesterday I am only on day 2 but today I feel strong. I am determined when that crazy voice pops up again and trys to convince me to have a "couple" that I can be storng enough to not give in.
Hope everyone has a great day and stays strong. Take Care. Aquamarine

[Lunapro]

Newbies in Need May day 9

I had intended to do 30 days AF - that only lasted 5. However, I didn't have the CDs, supplements or meds yet. Those 5 days were on willpower and this website and damn, that was hard! I finally got the CD's two days ago, and bought all the supplements. I'm still waiting on the Topa.

But...the strangest and most wonderful thing happened last night. My husband was away on business, and after fighting it for a couple hours I finally gave in and bought a bottle of wine. I don't know if it was the hypno or the supplements, but - I had a glass, then didn't care if I had another. I had to kind of force myself to have a third. Then I poured the rest away. I just didn't want it. Now, my usual drinking pattern would have been to finish that bottle and go buy another. This is really wonderful. Almost miraculous. I can't wait to do the CD again today.

My parents will be visiting today, and they both like their drinks, but I really don't think I'll have any. I bought some exotic sodas to drink instead.

Good Luck to you all!

[ducky]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Great job lunapro! I also stopped at 3 last night, which is one more than I had planned but sadly better than my usual performance. Hubbie was out of town and generally I would finish the bottle as well and sometimes more. I am aiming for just a glass or two tonight. Good luck with your company today. I know that can be tempting but enjoy your sodas and you will feel great tomorrow.

[badminton]

Newbies in Need May day 9

hi everyone, today is day one for me, have tried many,many times before to put down the wine bottle. everynight, had 3/4 of a bottle last night even when I had convinced myself that i was not going too, chucked the rest down the sink and will not be buying anymore. So here we go agian with day one.

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Well done Lunapro and Ducky at stopping at 3, it feels good doesn't it?

Well done Amanda on 14 days, and :welcome: Bluesky glad to have you with us. I'm on day 3 now after a slight slip at the weekend but I'm back on track now.

I'm also thinking alot about my passed actions and it's quite hard to deal with. I think I carried on drinking for so long so that I never had to face things. I always thought "I have a terrible hangover today that I need to deal with so I'll think about other stuff another day"
It is only now when I have a clear head for a few days that I can face thinking about the past. I don't want to dwell on it but I think I need to reflect on what I have done in order to move forward in the future. I know from my experiences in AA that you should try and apologise where possible to people you have hurt. I don't quite feel up to doing that so I will try and show them with my future actions that I have changed. As my boyfriend said recently he is fed up with hearing me say sorry.

Have a good Wednesday everyone and I'll see yo tonight.


Kitty

p.s. I actually can't wait to join this thread each day, it's a real comfort to see it each day and hear how you are all geting on

[bluesky]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Thanks aquamarine for the welcome and good luck on day 2 we are all with you on your journey forward. Lunapro how absolutely wonderful - that is amazing news - congratulations, I can't wait for my package to come through! Brilliant news. Have a great day everyone.

Bluesky X

[TomNolds]

Newbies in Need May day 9

Hello every I reduced down to four beers yesterday, before six PM Had a good meal and 1 st night sleep sober in awhile. Today will be my 1st AF day in awhile. So hear goes. Tom