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    #1

    Deja vu

    I came here a while ago , maybe 6yrs or so. I found it a great place , I lurked a lot but absorbed a whole lot of stuff. It wasn't quite enough & I done some counselling & after about a year I gave up alcohol. I felt great , in control of my life again & I kept it up for 3yrs. It wasn't easy as I was in a relationship with someone who didn't care for me & continued to drink , and ask me to buy him drink if I was on my way home. I apportioned a lot of blame in him & when I kicked him out after 3yrs sober I thought I'd be ok to try it on my own again . All was good initially & in 6 months I met a man who really appreciated me. I tentatively tried to tell him about my past but glossed it over at the last minute.
    We got married this year & my drinking has come back with a vengeance. I am absolutely gutted. He feels I'm not an alcoholic but have an alcohol problem whereby I have no cut off switch. I still feel like that old alcoholic I thought I'd managed to leave behind.
    Tonight I'm feeling really low as I guess a leopard never changes it's spots eh x
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    #2
    Deja vu

    Nattie, you 've come to a great place if you are serious about finally getting this monkey off your back. i 'd like to steer you to 2 places: The Newbies Nest is a great place to begin your journey, its a very active thread and someone is always around and the Tool Box. Links to both are in my signature line below. It has tons of information to help you on your journey. Welcome aboard!! Byrdie
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      #3
      Deja vu

      Welcome Nat and as you know you have come to a great place. 3 years congrats on that one and with someone that drank also. Done it once you can do it again. Lovely Byrd and others are a rock to us on here so stick close to them.
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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        #4
        Deja vu

        I'm not so sure I can do it tonight , or any. I feel so so low. My tears r out of control and I've just had enough if I'm honest . I'm so gutted to be back to where I was.

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          #5
          Deja vu

          Hi, Nattie:

          No matter how low you feel, alcohol tonight will only make you feel lower. Can you throw out what you have, drink gatorade, eat some food and go to bed? Once you get a day under your belt you will be able to think more clearly. I was in a very dark place 27 days ago and feel SO MUCH better already. You can do this!

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            #6
            Deja vu

            I am right there with you Nattie. Try not to be down on yourself. Put some time between you and drinking, give yourself a chance. Today when I get through it will be day 1 all over. I just want some distance from drinking so my body and mind can connect. I will worry about tomorrow ma?ana. Some food and rest tonite and tomorrow is coming soon. I will say a prayer for both of us. I have my plan to quit from days of old in hand. I am good at quitting just not good at remaining sober for long. I wish you well.

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              #7
              Deja vu

              Welcome back nattie!

              I found working up the courage to forgive myself was the first hurdle. We all have to do that in order to move on & away from AL. We can't change the past, it's done. We can forge a whole new future though, taking one step at a time, one day at a time

              Please join us in the Newbies Nest for lots of support!

              Wishing you the best!

              Lav
              AF since 03/26/09
              NF since 05/19/09
              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                #8
                Deja vu

                Hi Nattie,
                Three years is wonderful AF time. And you can see for yourself that al doesn't work for you. So great plan to come back to MWO. Since you had three years sobriety, you can really compare that good time with the AL abuse and feeling low. It's easy to see which one is right for you.
                Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                  #9
                  Deja vu

                  Hey Nattie
                  glad you're back! Being sober starts with the acknowledgement that you have already made. Enjoy your first day sober, beats the heck out of the alternative.
                  Liberated 5/11/2013

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                    #10
                    Deja vu

                    Thanks to everyone who replied , it really means a lot. I took the advice & went to bed after pouring my drunk away.
                    I feel this is my last chance with my gorgeous husband. Feel like he has seen all my worse sides & more. X

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                      #11
                      Deja vu

                      My husband said I don't have the switch that says enough is enough so I feel you. Hope you have a good nights sleep! I'm waking up refreshed and not hungover!!

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                        #12
                        Deja vu

                        Nat, welcome. 3 years is one great effort. If you done it then you can do it again!!! Stay close. There is a few of us around who intend to give al the big boot on Nye. Want to join us?

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