so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

[DreamThinkDo]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Honeysoup, I don't think the people here have ever given up on anybody - and I, for one, won't make an exception for you! You know the drill - lots of water, lots of reading, lots of posting instead of drinking or feeling guilty. I'm glad you decided not to wait until next year to get your life back on track.

I echo what everybody has said about NYE - stay away. Hubby has a choice: one party or your health and sobriety for the rest of your life. It doesn't seem like a difficult choice to me. I've never liked NYE parties - that enforced jollity just depresses me, and I generally get out of them by saying that I am worried about people letting of fireworks and scaring my animals. Could you use such an excuse? Any excuse, no matter how lame, will do. And take the pill today!

[Honeysoup]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Morning everyone...feeling great today as far as not being hung over. Still feeling scared that I won't have enough courage to stay sober. I do pretty good for a few weeks and then wham O...that nasty AL comes sneaking in my mouth and then it starts all over again. This time it needs to be it...gone for good...I mean really their is no point in drinking...it always brings something bad and evil in our lives. The first few times may be ok and SEEMS like its fine. But its not...it never is...Alcohol brings SO many bad things to peopls lives.

The loss of jobs
The loss of money
The loss of memory
The loss of friends
Cheating on the people you care the most about
Lying to the peopld you care most about
car accidents
killing people in car accidents that may have just had the best night of their lives and ruined by some idiot alcoholic
fighting
fighting with people you love
fighting with people you don't even know
kids being hurt
kids being punished
people being raped
people being held at gun point
people killing themselves
people killing other people
stealing
slowly killing ourselves
doing drugs even when you DON"T DO DRUGS
horrible stories that most of us couldn't even imagine
jail
we could all go on and on about the terrible things alcohol brings to our lives

Why do we start" drinking...what makes it so much fun? Most of us always wake up from a night of drinking and think "I feel like total crap" "what did I do last night" who was that person? so many questions.

I rather wake up and think...I slept so great...I am so happy to see my kids smiling faces.

[DipGal]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

WOW, that's quite a long list. Slowly killing ourselves.. and the possibility of hurting or killing others while driving drunk are the biggest ones for me. I am so glad you are feeling good today Honeysoup!

[paulywogg]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Just wanted to say hi Honeysoup,and skip the party let hubs go alone! im gonna be very mellow nye,almost like it doesnt exist,if i go anywhere i know ill get caught up and say"hell wit it,its new years im drinking,ill start tomorrow"lets not.

[Jazi's Mum]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Welcome from me too, Honeysoup. I'm still drinking, but not very much. I'm one of those who's decided to use medication to help me and I start that tomorrow.

You are so brave to just jump in there and get started today :goodjob: I too don't want you to sit home and be lonely on New Years Eve but for me personally, I would do something quiet with my husband rather than take on all that temptation. But I guess the antabuse will protect you??? All the best. :h

[lclem]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Hi all
Just checking in. I'm really busy with my niece and nephew, but really feel that staying connected to MWO is helpful. Will try to check in again later.
Have a great AF day all

[Icanwithoutacan]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Welcome honey! I am on day 15 (again) so no real words if wisdom except I will not give up on you.

[Unwasted]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Ditto what Ican said, Honey.......(except for I'm on day 5)

[nicelife]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

No matter the day - it is great to see you all here!!!

[SKendall]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Hi, H.S. I remember going to parties, not drinking, building a resentment and making up for it over the few days.

Each morning, I tell myself to be sober TODAY and those days add up.

Lav is correct, you need to tailor your plan, b/c last one wasn't good enough. Imagine your thinking before your last relapse, acknowledge it and put it in the New Plan.

Good Luck.

[hadit]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Hello Honey, I am on ab as well. It has worked for me in the past, but thought I could mod my drinking and stopped taking it !!! It was the worst thing I could have done. NOW I am in for the long haul and will take it forever if I have to!! Good Luck with your quit.:welcome: Like Lav has said a plan is pretty much essential, visualise how you will cope at a party and what u will drink. I often arrive with a coke in hand....that way I don't have to put up with someone trying to get me to, drink. I also use af beer.

[K9Lover]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Hi Honey!
Please do not drag this misery out until the New Year. Wouldn't you rather have several days sober under your belt than yet another drunken party to add to your memories? Get on the AB and tell your hubby you can't go. You won't regret staying home...but what will you regret if you go and get drunk...and....who knows what?
Sending you strength and love my friend! :h

[Byrdlady]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Honeysoup;1604578 wrote: Morning everyone...feeling great today as far as not being hung over. Still feeling scared that I won't have enough courage to stay sober. I do pretty good for a few weeks and then wham O...that nasty AL comes sneaking in my mouth and then it starts all over again. This time it needs to be it...gone for good...I mean really their is no point in drinking...it always brings something bad and evil in our lives. The first few times may be ok and SEEMS like its fine. But its not...it never is...Alcohol brings SO many bad things to peopls lives.

The loss of jobs
The loss of money
The loss of memory
The loss of friends
Cheating on the people you care the most about
Lying to the peopld you care most about
car accidents
killing people in car accidents that may have just had the best night of their lives and ruined by some idiot alcoholic
fighting
fighting with people you love
fighting with people you don't even know
kids being hurt
kids being punished
people being raped
people being held at gun point
people killing themselves
people killing other people
stealing
slowly killing ourselves
doing drugs even when you DON"T DO DRUGS
horrible stories that most of us couldn't even imagine
jail
we could all go on and on about the terrible things alcohol brings to our lives

Why do we start" drinking...what makes it so much fun? Most of us always wake up from a night of drinking and think "I feel like total crap" "what did I do last night" who was that person? so many questions.

I rather wake up and think...I slept so great...I am so happy to see my kids smiling faces.

Honey, I highlighted a couple things that are standing out to me as red flags.
This is the baggage claim area and your bags are here.....
AL does not sneak into your mouth, you make a choice to put it there, right? We must take responsibility for why this is happening. Maybe the answer to all your questions is in the last part that I put in bold...'what makes it so much fun?'. I ask you, what is fun about the way we drink? I don't know about you, but I drank in desperate gulps from a hidden bottle in my closet. I would sneak around and try to act sober when I was spitfaced. What the hell is fun about that? What is fun about the lies and promises I told? What is fun about guilt, shame and remorse? As long as we view drinking AL as fun, this is going to be a tough road.

Getting sober is all about mindset. If you think you are depriving yourself and missing out, you are going to have a tougher time achieving your goal that if you see AL for what it really is. It's the most aggressive virus you could ever imagine, it robs us of rational thinking and our hopes, dreams and ambitions. For us, AL is THE WORST nightmare there is. There is nothing fun about our drinking, because it is out to kill us. I HATE AL, for what it has done to me and my friends here, including you. I hate what it represents and the advertising that is allowed to go on. Yes, I used to feel differently, but now, AL IS the enemy. Not one, not ever. I am not missing out on a single thing! I am living life and enjoying it, finally! Try to get out of the deprivation mode and turn it around! I no longer need AL to be happy!!! It is a great feeling to be free!

Please check in and let us know how you're doing! Hugs to you, dear lady! Byrdie

[DipGal]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Checking in to read more words of wisdom from you and your friends Honeysoup! Oh, and inquiring minds want to know where the name Honeysoup came from?? I'm Dipgal, but used to have a dip mix biz. LOL

Byrdlady had some wonderful points about looking at AL as FUN. I do the same thing and must disassociate the two. Will look forward to troubleshooting methods to do that with you!

Hugs to you and everyone!

[Unwasted]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

DG, that's hilarious - I assumed you chewed tobacco :H:H