so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

[Honeysoup]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Byrdlady...you are so right! I do need to take responsibility for the alcohol sneaking in my mouth. I do put it there, just like I did last night and its all because I didn't take the antabuseto and didn't stay home, the temptation was too much. It also didn't help that my husband insisted that we go and it will be our last night out for the year of drinking. I can't sit here and beat myself up for something I did myself. But i am not giving up on myself either...my prescription is filled and its time for me to be serious. I can't wait to start this year off sober and continue to stay sober. I have bought some herbal tea's and some sparkling water. All the alcohol in my house is gone...I gave all my wine glasses away when I went to the party, even my shot glasses and my several wine openers. My kitchen is also filled with wine glass holders and grapes and pictures of wine and signs and those are all gone. I have made my commitments and I am going to do this...2014 is my year and I will promise to support others who are in this commitment as well

[Darkest Diamond]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Happy 2014

Hiya Honey Soup,
Well done for throwing all the wine related stuff away, that must feel very symbolic. I am only on day 5 so we are both at the same stage, I don't think I could manage parties at the moment. I stayed in on Nys E and had a pampering session, bubble bath, dvds, then just before midnight I lit a candle and said a prayer (mainly along the lines of staying sober) . I've had enough of drinking now, want to give up forever, I fear I will die if I don't.
Happy 2014, you can do it.

[Unwasted]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Honeysoup, just sending you peace and strength! And, wondering, have you taken AB before? I can't remember - just curious.

DD, I love your idea of the candle - when I achieved 7 months of sobriety I made lighting candles part of my meditation routine and it really took me to a different place. I think there's something special about creating that kind of setting - it makes what we're doing more meaningful -- like a ritual.

xx,
UN

[Byrdlady]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

That's the stuff, Honey! You will never regret one day you spend sober! Welcome aboard!!! Xxoo, B

[Honeysoup]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Yes, UW I have taken AB before...I don't really like it because it makes me so tired. I hope that it passes.

[Unwasted]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Honey, I think it must because K9 took it for a long time (may still not sure). So did you stop the AB so you could drink or because of the way it made you feel? I think they do implants now (not sure) -- that last a year. Anyway, best to you -- we will be here for support if you need it.

xx,
UN

[Honeysoup]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

UW - probably both if I want to be totally honest. I am not back to work until Monday so I am going to try it out. I have some Campral as well, should I take both? Anyone have experience with that?

[Unwasted]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Honey, I've not heard of anyone taking both. You could always check on the meds thread, but I think they mainly post about Balcofen and a couple of other drugs - not sure. I definitely wouldn't take both unless you talk to someone about it first.

[hadit]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Honey, I take AB. I am not completely sure, but I do think it makes us a bit tired, I am hoping that will pass. Without AB in the early stages I know I won't do it. I have found ab a great crutch. I am 8 days in now. Didn't drink over the mad Christmas/NYE parties and are still doing OK. I know if I drink whilst on AB I am going to be sick....very, tried it once and it is not nice!!! Good Luck

[Honeysoup]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Ya, I got really sick off if it too. I have absolutely no intention of drinking again. I do not even want to be around it. I am going to take my AB right now, I went to the gym ate a healthy breakfast and lunch and I am feeling pretty happy about that. I am still having that guilt feeling and kind of agitated. I can't wait for all that to pass...I will be checking back in soon.

[DipGal]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Hi Honey! Good to see your posts! You sure have a wonderfully committed plan in place! Good for you!

I'm with you - day #1 in my 30-60 days abstaining.. I went to the store today and loaded up on beverages for my tougher time of the day. I am sipping on a N/A beer and it is doing the trick. I also have diet ginger ale, club soda, lime, diet tonic, diet cranberry juice. I'll mix and match as needed. I have some L-Glutamine and Sam-E as supplements.

I also just purchased the book "Drinking - A Love Story".. I look forward to settling in with that tonight.

Take care!

[K9Lover]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Hi Honey!

When I first started this journey on one of my MANY attempts, I took Campral as well as AB. They are fine to take together, but I finally gave up the Campral...I felt like I was ALWAYS popping a pill (2 pills, 3x a day) and not really feeling a difference. But I know it has worked for a lot of people, so maybe just give it a try? The AB has been my ticket to success...especially after I tried to drink on it (once or twice, or a few times). There is NO sick feeling like the AB/alcohol combination. I thought my head was going to spin off. Anyone that hasn't experienced it cannot understand. Byrdie compared it to the girl in the Exorcist, and that was pretty damn close :H (Projective vomiting inlcluded!)

I noticed that I was tired on AB at first too, but it goes away. Can you take it at night maybe? Besides, weren't you always tired with a hangover anyways? I know I was! Just sayin'... :l

[j-vo]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

HI Honey,
Glad you had a good day! Those little "good" things we do make a huge difference. Keep doing them, ODAT. Just think, "Today, I will not drink." You can do this!

[Honeysoup]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Its at the end of the day and I have made it...we can all do this..really happy I made this decision. My kitchen walls are so bare...I need to find a new theme for it. Any suggestions?

Thank you J-vo

K9 - Always love and look forward to your advise. Just wondering...do you still take the AB? Do you think if you stopped taking you it would give you the urge to drink again?

Dipgal - I sounds like you have made good plan. I hope the supplements help you, and let me know how the book is. With all this cold weather we are having it would probably help to keep yourself very bust during your most critical hours. Hopefully that will make the devil pass. I have rearranged my kitchen drawers and cabinets. It's a great feeling to have them be so clean and it kept me busy for quite a while.
Hadit ? that is awesome that you made it threw the holidays AF?that is a huge step! Congrats!

[K9Lover]

so here I sit again...feeling the guilt shame

Hi Honey!

Glad to see you're hanging in there. Yes, I still take the AB every morning. I don't think about it, I just do it...that way I don't have to ponder the question of drinking...it's off the table! To answer your question though, yes, I've thought of "accidentally skipping" the AB and seeing what happens, but ya know, handcuffs and orange jumpsuits are not really what I want in my immediate fashion future, so I TTFP!

As far as a theme for your kitchen, have you seen the Tuscany/Italian type theme? It's so pretty: dark blues, reds, yellows....I have been SCORING lating at the thrift store with huge platters and wall decorations!! Imagine the Olive Garden type theme...I am always tempted to snag a plate off their wall. LOL

I redecorated my bedroom when I first quit drinking...now it's my personal happy oasis...I could stay in there forever! Make yourself a happy place that you can go to when the cravings get bad. Get cozy, grab a book and get lost for a while (or a movie, or some other hobby)...just have something to look forward to doing. That's the best advice I've got for now. Take it slow and you will keep racking up those days! :l