Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

[hart]

Guess the title says it all. Day two AF. Both my husband and I feel good. But Joe is already talking about drinking on the weekends and I want to, at least for a while, go AF on the weekends too. But we have had a pretty co-dependence drinking problem and I am worried I can't remain AF if he drinks.....and beer is in the house.

How have others handled this?:huh:

[Accountable for Me]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

My husband and I had a very co-dependent drinking relationship as well. I finally had to decide I was doing this for me. It was EXTREMELY hard to resist the temptation in the beginning but after a while it got easier.

[ducky]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

I think it is hard but can be done. As accountable said, she had to decide this was for her. I actually sat and had dinner with my husband one night and he had wine and I had nothing. It was VERY hard but I was glad I did it.

[hart]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

(((Accountable, Ducky)))

Thanx. I was afraid it was a grit your teeth and bear it.uch: I hope we can change our lifestyle enuf he won't feel the need to. But if he doesn't and I really want to change, and I am tired of this cycle, I'll have to do it without him, at least on the weekends. Daunting. I was sooo hoping this would be a joint effort all the way....:upset:

[AAthlete]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

Hart, as others said in the end this has to be about you and your desire to change. But is certainly does make it easier, especially when you are just starting out, to not have that temptation around. Sounds like your husband may not be completely sold on the idea of stopping drinking? Just wondering as it is always somewhat of a giveaway when a person is looking 'forward' to the weekend so they can drink.....

I wish you the very best of luck!

[hart]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

(((AA))

No I would agree he isn't completely sold. But I'm not either, but I know I want a choice and I don't feel I will be giving myself a chance to REALLY choose if I don't abstain a while. Besides I've been abusing my poor body for a long time. I'm usually a very optimistic person and dare I say childlike in my enthusiasm for life, people, situations, etc. And the last year I have basically been a daily drunk who manages to work but not ENJOY life.

I want my enjoyment back. I want the relationship we had when we weren't drunks back.

Alcohol is always there, but life has amazing opportunities I don't want to pass up because I'm passed out! End of rant :ey:

[WilliamTheFree]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

hart;134246 wrote: and beer is in the house.

How have others handled this?:huh:

Well for me...not having it in the house really isn't an issue...I've been AF for 16 days now...I've had plenty of wine, a couple of bottles of vodka, rum and other alcohol in the house...I have just chosen not to drink...of course the TOPA has helped with that...Not having it in the house helps but in the past if it wasn't in the house and I wanted a drink I would just go get some...of course, though, I always kept a good stock on hand...

BUT....if it makes a difference for you then you may need to clear your house...you have to do what works for you in order to kick this thing....

[hart]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

((((demimalti)))

Thanx! In the past, before Joe & I got into drinking daily, I had booze in the house and it was no problem. I don't know if it will be so much the alcohol in the house as that Joe will be drinking and it's been SOMETHING WE DID TOGETHER. It's the ritual of it, I think.

To be honest, I also have some resentment about some things re: Joe (and probably him, me too) and I have a hard time expressing them, so drinking made them......not as important when it's all blurred.

Wow, probably TMI for you, right?:blush:

[Guest]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

Sometimes, when we were hitting the vineyards pretty hard on the weekends, I felt I just had more to say when I was drinking. I really thought myself far more interesting. sometimes now I feel boring in the conversation department. But after 15 years we have covered the main stuff. So now it's just enjoying the company each other. He may view it as a connection that you both share. My husband and I have very seperate careers and interests. just my little'ol opininon. Best wishes for both you and Joe, Hart Gotta keep plugging along!
Smiles
Mar

[WilliamTheFree]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

hart;134280 wrote: ((((demimalti)))

Thanx! In the past, before Joe & I got into drinking daily, I had booze in the house and it was no problem. I don't know if it will be so much the alcohol in the house as that Joe will be drinking and it's been SOMETHING WE DID TOGETHER. It's the ritual of it, I think.

To be honest, I also have some resentment about some things re: Joe (and probably him, me too) and I have a hard time expressing them, so drinking made them......not as important when it's all blurred.

Wow, probably TMI for you, right?:blush:

Drinking is a good way for us to escape reality for awhile...the only problem is that when the drink wears off reality is right back there so....we run to get back to that bottle thus creating a vicious, never ending cycle of escapism.

[hart]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

Guess what! I got up my gumption and talked to Joe yesterday. We had such a good day, walked thru the park w/our hyper dog, the sun was perfect, had energy we somehow haven't had w/drinking 12 beers a day everyday And I broached the subject. If he wanted to drink on the weekends I couldn't stop him, but don't get my beer because I wanted to be AF for a while, maybe forever but at least until I feel it's not a habit to drink but an occasional thing. HE AGREED!!! He said we wouldn't drink this weekend. Now I am a little apprehensive because we both have said such things before, but we talked how, though we had a kind of "Oh I will go to the fridge for a beer", it wasn't so much a longing as a HABIT and easy with the drug to reach for a pop instead. So cross your finger for us. I'm getting hopeful!:yay:

[Accountable for Me]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

Fingers crossed for you Hart! I think it is wonderful you can communicate honestly with your hubby and he is supportive of you. Let us know how it goes!!!

[hart]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

(((AFM)))

Thanx. As you can probably tell I will I'm a frequent poster......it help and I'm gabby:H

[Accountable for Me]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

Post often - I like gabby people! :thumbs:

[retteacher]

Can AF and drinking on weekend couples work?

Hart: I just read your thread. My husband doesn't drink very much at all & doesn't know the extent of what I drink. I'm sure he suspects at times. I am much better when there is no alcohol in the house. Wine is my poison of choice & if there is an open bottle, I finish it up. Good luck. I have remained AF while others drank & I always feel so good about myself when I do that.