Any friends still here?

[little beagle]

Any friends still here?

Noodle I reached a point in my life where quitting was easier then drinking. I was in a really dark place and the only thing that let the light in was not drinking. The first month was very difficult. and still very hazy to remember. But coming here to MWO every day got me through it. That and every other first I have gone through.
I know that I am able to handle difficult situations much more decisively, I am a LOT more fun to be around sober then drunk. I have more fun in my life, look forward to special events now where before all I did was dread them.
Al does leave a hole in your life. That is true, but I learned to fill that hole with taking CARE of me. I exercise, read, love my husband, cook, garden, and just enjoy life again. It took time but the reward has really paid off.
Just keep coming here. Any al free time is worth while. :l

[noodle]

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Hey everyone, Thanks for the awesome posts, it's fantastic to catch up with some old faces, and looking forward to making some new friends :l
Well last night, like the last God knows how many, was another complete disaster.
Have been trying to recover all day, and will go to bed tonight without a drink, but that's only because I'm too hungover - a rareity - not the hangover, but the fact I won't be drinking.
Tomorrow, I won't be drinking, hangover should be gone, and I am fighting back with a plan. Stay close, I'm gonn need ya!!:upset:

[K9Lover]

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We're here for you Noodle! :l
So...what is the plan for today? We'll help you through this...so stick close!

[Jammymammy]

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K9 I watched rain in my heart! Thanks for the heads up! What a way to look at myself & some of my drinking behaviour in a virtual mirror! Shocking but necessary TBH! Glad I watched it! Huge gratitude to the participants & their families. I read somewhere since that Vanda passed too....

[treetops]

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Hi Noodle.
How are you feeling today? You said you would be sober today but if you have been drinking very heavily for so long you are bound to be going through a rough time when you stop.
let us know how things are

[noodle]

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Hey there TT, K9 & LB, yup feelinga lot better, though my right boob (lols - sorry ) is absolutely killing me - no dodgy lumps of anything - don't know if it's suffered some "trauma" over the last few days - who knows!! Anyways, apart from that, had no sleep whatsoever - just couldnt nod off no matter what, did briefly have some kind of halucination os a woman licking some childs face - weird and creepy, so knackered, but not reeking of old fumes. Just had pooch out for a mega walk, and enjoyed the lovely fresh air. Got lots to keep me busy, but I know I'm in for a rough few days, taking it easy (mentally), thanks again all you lovelies xxxx Will catch up soon xxxx:h

[mama bear]

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Oh Noodle...the image of you labeling the Christmas boxes in case you were not here next year made me so sad.
I think you are putting up a brave front, but you are terribly sad and depressed.
Please, please get some AF time under your belt and schedule an appt. with your doc to have everything checked and discuss your mental state. I am worried about you.
Said with respect and love
Mama

[K9Lover]

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Well damn, I just lost a long post!

Noodle - Does your boob have a bruise or any other obvious injury? I used to have so many mysterious aches and pains when I was drinking!! One time I fell in the shower and was bruised from head to toe...I was completely disgusted with myself when I saw what I'd done. I agree with Mama, get some sober time then get to the doctor!

Jammy - I think you are right and that Vanda did die...she made me realize that that's where I was headed...sitting alone in my 50's with nothing but my alcohol and cigarettes for company! It was not a good look for her, and wouldn't be for me either! Here's another good video, maybe you've seen it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dJ97Vwoup4&hd=1[/video]]Drugged - High On Alcohol - YouTube

[treetops]

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Morning Noodle.
Your boob sounds painful and it might be time to have a thorough talk to the dr. They are not so busy here in NZ at this time of the year. Maybe the dr can also suggest something for the anxiety and detox. Just a suggestion.

Yes, Vanda did die. Her story was truely tragic. But Noodle, I suggest you don't obsess too much over these videos - as it might send you into a tailspin - and you sound very depressed already. IMO,when we are like this reading or watching really depressing stuff doesn't always help.
Please try to think about climbing your way out - first from the AL. And you are doing this - with the help of your dog!
I think I am getting a wee bit of sun here today!
:wavin:

[K9Lover]

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Good point Tree! I didn't mean to add to the depressing videos ops:

We all know how bad alcohol is without constantly watching stories about it.

Hope you're ok today Noodle!!!

[noodle]

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Hey lovlies, thanks MB, K9 + TT's, feeling, and looking a LOT better today. Didn't get much sleep, very restless and my pooch wanted to play all night - GRRRRR bad doggy felt very cold, I think because so tired. Have a lovely day all, see ya soon xxx:l

[available]

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Hi Noodle, just wanted to throw in my support. Your post made me sad also saying you labelled the xmas decorations. I was like that also, thought what is the point, i cant stop, why bother, keep drinking, no one cares. It took me 5 months to get it finally in my head that i can never drink, man that is so hard to get your head around. NEVER, no moderating, no one or two to be sociable, nothing! I tried moderating, well that worked a treat NOT. Back to square one again.

Now i am resigned to not drinking and i am grateful that i am resigned to that. I dont have to fight with myself anymore about al, i still think about it on and off but its not an obsession or a hunger. I also realise that i cannot lie about al, i have to be totally honest in this af life. One drink is not enough and 100 is not enough either.

You can do this noodle, in no time you will be jigging around like your avatar. Post like a lunatic, i did and i am sure everyone got sick of me but it got me through some tough times especially at night.

Oh i did not know that Vanda died, that could so have been me although i do hold a job but how long would that have lasted i wonder.

[broken halo]

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Morning Noodle, just wanted to say hi and add my support. Glad you are feeling better :l

[treetops]

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Hi Noodle. How was Friday night? It always was a tricky time for me when I was drinking.

Just try to go with the roller coaster of broken sleep - and the rest. AS you know its all part of the crap that goes with stopping AL.
I hope your resolve is strong for the weekend.

[noodle]

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Hey there, no stumbled, I'll be honest. Not good, but honestly feeling better. Thank you so much for you wishes and support, and especially time. Just don't know WTF I'm going to do. Just having a green tea, lols, and hoping that some kind of plan is going to kick in with me. Could sobriety be the most amazing journey of my life? I'm thinking the pissed route is getting pretty boring and expensive, not to mention embarrassing and cringe worthy. Need a shift in thought, and think I'm getting there. I have "just stopped" in the past, because I've almost killed myself, or sunk to new depths whilst in drink (you really don't want to know), but then after so many days, that doesn't seem so bad, everyone forgives me, and we all move on. Drinking. I am going to spend tomorrow, analysing m behavoir with AL, because I've never done that before.
I read a story in a magazine, years ago but it still sticks in my head, about a young woman who had been an alcoholic, big time, for most of her 20's and 30's, and managed to quit, after loosing pretty much everything in her life. Her first taste of alcohol, as she recalled, was exactly like mine. She said she reckoned she was about 16 years old (I was about 12 I recall) and necked a whisky - medicianal purposes for a cold (as was mine) and instantly, that hot, burning, aromatic sensation awakened something in her far beyond the initial reaction to the drink that she had poured down her throat. Something in her gut, responded, and from that moment on called out to her. From that moment on she unconciously constantly craved that same sensation, for me it was exactly the same, not helped being brought up by a family of heavy drinkers who gave me "shandys" and glasses of wine with Sunday dinner from early childhood. I've loved alcohol, and pretty much planned most of my life around it ever since. I don't drink, I "glug" I almost gag on the amount I need to get down my neck. I have a "Pull" in my gut. Does anyone else have that? If so, what did you do? Can it be cured? I've battled with this for so long, I'm at the point of just throwning the f***ng towel in.
Beyond bored with it all. :upset:
PS, thanks again xxxx not dissing you, just my self xx Need to get my f****kng arse in gear