Newbies in need May day 11

[Kitty]

Newbies in need May day 11

Ducky,

I still dream of the day I can go to a party or down the pub and just have a few drinks and a laugh but I think in reality it won't happen. I used to get blackout drunk every other day and I become an absoulte horror. I'm trying af and I'm just trying to have as many days as I can even if they are not strung together.

My bf is pretty fed up with the way I behave when I drink but I think now that if I do slip occaisionally he will forgive me and I will forgive myself.

I don't want to go back to that drinking pattern I was in, being blind drunk one night then putting myself and my relationship back together the next night.

Ducky I'm glad you are feeling better and good luck!

Kitty

[ducky]

Newbies in need May day 11

Thanks Kitty. It sounds like you are really working hard at this and that you will be successful. I have the same wish, to drink normally. Time will tell if I can do that.

Have a great w/e.

[Lorelei]

Newbies in need May day 11

So here I am alone on a Friday night after a fight with my boyfriend. He says he is tired of playing second fiddle to a bottle of wine and that I give up when things get too hard. He thinks that I am not trying hard enough and perhaps my problem is bigger than I thought.

Here I am thinking I was improving but he doesn't see it. We were supposed to go to a birthday party tonight but neither he or I are up to it. When I asked if he wanted to spend the night alone he said yes. And that if I continued to drink that he would break up with me.

I have no plans to drink tonight, though in the past I would have. I thought I was making progress but maybe not.

:upset:

-Lorelei

[ducky]

Newbies in need May day 11

Lorelie,

I think that the fact that you have no plans to drink tonight says a lot. It seems from my perspective that you have been making progress. Could there be another issue? I will be thinking of you tonight.

[bird]

Newbies in need May day 11

Lorelie,
I'll agree with Ducky on that. Of course you are making progress. We all slip.Sorry so sad and tomorrow is another day. Bird

[ducky]

Newbies in need May day 11

lorelei,

you said bf couldn't reach you last night because you were out. did he leave a message and then you didn't call? why does he feel so abandoned? is he just mad because you had some wine, although you were mods? Have you talked about your goals?

Sorry to ramble. Just feel bad that you are feeling bad. Hope tomorrow is better for you.

[Lorelei]

Newbies in need May day 11

Thanks all for your kind words and your encouragement.

Just got off the phone with boyfriend and we were able to talk things out more constructively. He has been aware of my dependency for longer than I have and has been frustrated longer than I have been aware. Its his pent up frustration that causes him to get so angry with me when I slip. He did leave a message last night but I did not pick it up until the morning (cell phone voice mail can be a bit dodgy). He genuinely wants to help me and felt hurt that I didn't not reach out to him before I went out. I'm still rather uncomfortable talking about my alcohol problem with him because I am ashamed of it. We talked alot tonight and we even had a laugh about it. This is the support I was expecting earlier today.

It's so nice to be able to come here and hash out my thoughts. You all have been so intstrumental in all my positive changes I would just love to hug you all. Instead I will go to bed....clear headed and listen to a hypnotherapy CD.

Hugs and Kisses!

-Lorelei