Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

[JingleJo]

Hi everyone,

I stopped drinking for a 7 month period up until May last year, then I stupidly started drinking again, thinking I could "control it" this time.

Yeah right.

My binges have been even worse than before, including last night...my drink-fuelled behaviour has possibly ruined my 4 month old marriage!!

So it's crunch time and time for alcohol to be shown the door again.

Was sitting here actually talking myself out of trying to quit again with all sorts of thoughts such as "I'll be miserable without alcohol... How will I get through the next wee while without it... I've got a party to go to soon..." Blah, blah, blah.

Note to self: err your life was f*cking fab for 7 months when you quit before and none of the above applied!

Just feels scary being at this stage again, but I can do it.

So, here goes...

[paulywogg]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Hi JingleJo,glad youre back

[NoSugar]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Hi, JingleJo

I'm sorry about the crisis but if it gets you back on the path to the life you want, it can at least have served a good purpose.

There are some other returners in the Newbies Nest right now. It would be great to see you there!

[K9Lover]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Welcome back JJ!

Sometimes we need that wake up call to see how awful alcohol really is. I hope you can patch up things with your marriage. I acted so awful when I was drunk...I lost many friends and a lot of times I disappeared out of their lives because I was embarrassed. Those days can be a thing of the past for you too! You've done 7 months and you know how great it feels. Compare that to how you feel right now...

Hang in there and stay close to us!

[JingleJo]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Thanks for the encouraging words guys.

It's crazy, cos I had got to a position where I genuinely didn't get the urge to drink, certainly didn't miss it and I felt great most of the time, so I know for a fact it's possible and life will be so much better, yet giving up again is terrifying me even more so than the first time round.

I'm riddled with hangover anxiety at the mo, so every bloody thing is inspiring fear and dread right now!

[treetops]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

7 months sober is no small feat and AL definitely becomes less of a call with time.
Show your partner that you mean to quit. this may not work out as you want but it's the best you can do with the situation. I hope the remorse and panic eases but that will take a bit of time.
all the best for a stronger relationship Forgiveness is part of intimacy.

[Pavati]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Welcome back, JJ

My hangover that brought me here was TERRIBLE anxiety - and that caused a lot of fear. Once you clear your body of the toxins you'll have a stronger outlook, I am convinced. Some advice that I got that helped (or at least gave me the placebo effect) - Gatorade, B vitamins, a detox bath (Epsom salts, lavender, whatever you have), lots of good food, and lots of reading and posting here. At least it will give you something to focus on other than your anxiety.

I am on day 40 sober today - I feel like you describe above - no real cravings, and a distinct impression that rather than being worse, all of those "fun" things are actually BETTER without alcohol. Go figure. Anyway - I will see you around MWO. Hang tight, you'll feel better soon.

[Pinecone]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Good to see you back JJ!

[Lavande]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Welcome back JJ!
Sorry you had to find out the hard way but now you know for sure - AL cannot be controlled
The best thing we can do, the only thing really is to turn our back & walk away from AL once & for all. You can do it, I know you can

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[treetops]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Yes we can control AL by walking away as Lav says - or pouring it down the sink. That might seem like a waste but it eventually ends up in the sewers anyway.

[JingleJo]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Thanks guys for your replies.

Day 2 has arrived and I feel much better than yesterday but my partner says he can't decide whether he wants to continue with our marriage and relationship. Head is scrambled and normally I would reach for a drink, but I'm not going to. It's alcohol that's got me into this mess and it certainly won't help me get out of it.

God damn you alcohol :upset:

[Jammymammy]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

JJ....Ok so, I'm only new here & I'm sure there are far more qualified people than me but I have been married quite a long time. And in that time my drinking has made me into an unknown person, viscous at times, angry, hateful, self loathing....u get my drift. But I have been lucky enough to have a partner who can see thru the alcohol fuelled bs & see the real me. Marriage is hard, for EVERYONE, let alone those of us who have this particular addiction flaw in our personality. If someone is willing to head for the hills as soon as there r some rough times maybe that says more about them??? Everyone I know in the world has some kinda issue r other & NO ONE is perfect. Maybe u can look into yourself for ur reason to stop drinking, maybe before it was for others rather than truly for u?
Any hoo it's all only my opinion, but fair play to u for starting again! U could've hid inside another bottle every minute ur sober will help U in the long run & can't be a bad thing.

[Jammymammy]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

JJ....Ok so, I'm only new here & I'm sure there are far more qualified people than me but I have been married quite a long time. And in that time my drinking has made me into an unknown person, viscous at times, angry, hateful, self loathing....u get my drift. But I have been lucky enough to have a partner who can see thru the alcohol fuelled bs & see the real me. Marriage is hard, for EVERYONE, let alone those of us who have this particular addiction flaw in our personality. If someone is willing to head for the hills as soon as there r some rough times maybe that says more about them??? Everyone I know in the world has some kinda issue r other & NO ONE is perfect. Maybe u can look into yourself for ur reason to stop drinking, maybe before it was for others rather than truly for u?
Any hoo it's all only my opinion, but fair play to u for starting again! U could've hid inside another bottle every minute ur sober will help U in the long run & can't be a bad thing.

[DreamThinkDo]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Jingle, you have the answer - and that is that Al won't get you out of the mess your in. But, I really hope that if you stay AF, and convince your partner that you are serious about staying AF, he will reconsider. You deserve a happy life with him, and I wish you all the best. Good luck on Day 2 - stay strong, and don't take that first drink: we all know there is no such thing as only one drink.

[JingleJo]

Here goes for the 2nd time - sobriety, I'm coming to get ya!

Jammymammy;1611289 wrote: JJ....Ok so, I'm only new here & I'm sure there are far more qualified people than me but I have been married quite a long time. And in that time my drinking has made me into an unknown person, viscous at times, angry, hateful, self loathing....u get my drift. But I have been lucky enough to have a partner who can see thru the alcohol fuelled bs & see the real me. Marriage is hard, for EVERYONE, let alone those of us who have this particular addiction flaw in our personality. If someone is willing to head for the hills as soon as there r some rough times maybe that says more about them??? Everyone I know in the world has some kinda issue r other & NO ONE is perfect. Maybe u can look into yourself for ur reason to stop drinking, maybe before it was for others rather than truly for u?
Any hoo it's all only my opinion, but fair play to u for starting again! U could've hid inside another bottle every minute ur sober will help U in the long run & can't be a bad thing.

Hey there, I hear what you're saying re him heading for the hills, but my drinking aside there's been other factors and issues and our relationship has been awful recently. I think the icing on the cake for him has been my recent terrible behaviour through the drinking and he has just had enough of the lot of it. He says he needs thinking space, but it's looking likely it's over.

When I made the decision to quit drinking again yesterday, it was mainly because I know it is going to destroy me, but also because I do want to try to save my marriage. If there's no hope for the latter, I'm determined to keep moving forward with quitting alcohol anyway.

The urge to just go and drown my sorrows is very much present, I can't lie, but I need to resist. I just can't let it destroy my life any more xxx