Am I too late after 50 years?

[chicarosa]

I have been a highly functioning drinker for my entire adult life. I am in my seventies and think it may be time to quit for health reasons. I have read many posts but haven't seen anything specifically addressing older women. I drink 6-8 drinks every day at home with my husband who usually stops at two. He doesn't know how much I drink because I am very clever at hiding it. Alcohol is my drug of choice for chronic pain and I have, of course, developed a very high tolerance. I am loquacious by nature and never appear drunk though I certainly get a buzz. My husband gets the effect he likes at two drinks and thinks I have only a little more than he does. I wake up every day deciding to have only two as my husband does but that never happens. Is it unusual for a woman my age to be drinking this much?

[Jazi's Mum]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Hi there chicarosa, and welcome. I'm an older woman too, who has been drinking too much for 50 years. I'm 68 now and wondering the same thing you are....am I going to go to my grave with a glass of wine in my hand???

There are lots of places here where you might find a roost. There are those who want to learn to abstain forever, and there are those like me who want to be alcohol free 80% of the time, but enjoy a drink with my husband several times a week. I am using baclofen to assist me in getting rid of the cravings, so I can at least have some control of when I drink.

I'll be your buddy if you like, chicarosa, no matter which route you choose. We older gals have to stick together :welcome:
JMum

[Tavistock]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Welcome chicarosa!

It's never too late to give up AL. I'm 57 and finally have 1 week today under my belt. For me 2 drinks would never be enough! Once I start, the gates are open and any though of moderation flies out the window.

I feel so good being AF. I have energy and feel a sober high these days.

Whatever you choose to do is up to you. But give sobriety a chance, see how much better you feel and you may find you prefer it.

[little beagle]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Chicarosa it is not too late. Any time af is time for your body to heal.

[Jazi's Mum]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Chicarosa, I forgot you had a specific question: "is it unusual for a woman my age to be drinking this much?"

No, it's not unusual at all. In fact there are thousands and thousands of us who are getting older and older with the same questions on our minds: do I want to keep doing this? How do I get the support I need as an older woman? Are my problems different from those of younger women? How will I dull my pain without a drink? How can I get active if I'm getting older and have chronic pain? How can I change my life when my husband and I are so settled into our "golden years?"

Stick around and let's see if there are any older women who can relate. Maybe we can start a thread just for us????
JMum

[Nelz]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Just like the old saying........Its never too late....no, its not too late

[Lavande]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Hello & welcome chicarosa

Glad you decided to join us!
The answer to your question is NO, it's not too late.

I've just turned 60 myself & I decided 5 years ago it was time to quit.
The medical community advises no more than 1 alcoholic drink/day for any woman at any age. If that is not possible then quitting is best.

You'll be surprised to find your aches & pains improve when you quit.
Any lingering depression you have will improve as well

Make a good plan for yourself, jump into the Newbies Nest thread for more support.
You won't be sorry!

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[broken halo]

Am I too late after 50 years?

hello and welcome Rosa. It's never too late to want a better life for yourself. 6-8 drinks every night is 42 -56 drinks in a week. That's a lot, no matter what age you are. Is it unusual? I don't know, is it unusual for people to hide how much they drink from their spouse? Have you asked yourself why you do that?

I hid what I was drinking from people I cared about too, I knew they'd be shocked if they knew how much and how often!

You can't stop at two, you've tried that. Why not try to give yourself a break for a while and see how you get on without it, just to start with? Whatever you decide to do I wish you well, you have found a great site here, make the most of it!

[MossRose]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Hi chicarosa. Nice to meet you. Nope - it's never too late. Your post made me do the math and I realized that I have been drinking for almost 40 years. I've been self-destructing since I was a teen. Yikes!! At one time, I guess I was a "high functioning" drinker, but eventually it started to catch up with me - physically, and emotionally. I then came to the realization that I would function much better without AL. It hasn't been easy, and I have fallen more than once, but I'll never stop trying. I want what time I have left to have as much value and meaning as possible. So, please believe me, you are definitely not alone. Many of us have decades of drinking behind us, yet every day I am amazed at how many people here manage to kick AL out of their life permanently - at any age. It's so inspiring.

Stay close. We'll listen. xx

[Rusty]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Welcome, Chicarosa!

No, you are not too old to try and quit. After 30 years of daily drinking (most days, all day), my aunt finally got sober at the age of 64, after a 30-day stint in rehab. She would have kept on drinking if it weren't for the fact that my uncle said he would "institutionalize" her. Her life was so miserable....she had 3 DUIs, tried to commit suicide by jumping off her 2nd-floor deck....her head struck her cement patio below and she survived. She's been sober 5.5 years now, and she just celebrated her 70th birthday. She looks like she's 60. She doesn't miss AL at all. She's active in AA, and is happier than she's been in her whole life.

Yes, you can do this....lots of older women here who are struggling to quit or have quit and have been here a good long while.

I'm a never-been-married 53-year-old woman who was high-functioning as well. AL took a toll on my body by adding 50 lbs. (GASP!:upset and gnawing at my self-esteem. I've never regretted quitting...although it took a few times before my quit stuck, and I'm never going back.

Like Lavande said, check out The Newbies Nest...lots of helpful and compassionate people there. Keep posting and reading.

[DipGal]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Hi Chicarosa! I consider myself older also, at the age of 57.. I have been drinking for 40 years.. almost daily and binge drinking for 28 years. I am serious about cutting down on my alcohol intake for only one reason - my health. I really have no other things to lose because of my drinking (i.e. job, family member, money problems, etc.)..

I am 10 days AF, and this is the first time I have every attempted to go AF for any period of time. the first couple of days were emotionally tough, but after a week it became much easier. I had no physical cravings at all.

I intend to try moderating after I finish my *30* days AF. Authors and other experts on the subject suggest that to lower your tolerance in order to try moderating, you go at least 30 days AF. Then, you make a contract with yourself as to when, where, how much, etc. The book I found particularly helpful is "Take Control of Your Drinking".. by Michael S. Levy. He walks you through determining how serious your problem is and making a moderating contract.. If we break our contract continuously, then abstaining is better for us.

It's never too late for us to work on being healthier! You can do it if you choose! Good luck!

[Myluck]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Chicarosa - welcome!!! It is never too late. You came to the right place.

[Guitarista]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Hi Rosa, Welcome.

It's never too late to stop drinking if that's what you want. My neighbour is 85 and has been loving the sober life for 2 years so far. Go for it.

[Poink]

Am I too late after 50 years?

This may not apply to anyone else, but this is my story.

I am 58 years old. About a year ago I underwent emergency brain surgery for a chronic subdural hematoma, which means I had suffered a head injury sometime in the last 2 months. There had been no black-out drinking, and my wife and I could think of no way that I could have been injured that severely. But doing research, there are two things that make a person more susceptible to such injuries: age and a history of heavy drinking. I was only 57, but I've been drinking heavily for about 40 of them.

And, as we age, we are more susceptible to all kinds of bodily damage in falls, and even when sober we are more likely to fall.

Is it too late? No, I think it would be an excellent time to start. I don't know if you've tried before, but it usually takes at least a few tries to get it right.

And for those of us that drink too much, nothing is unusual. Not the amount, nor the slipping around. And neither is the desire to put that behind you. If you would feel comfortable with it, since it has been going on so long, you might want to talk this over with your doctor before you begin.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. Spend a lot of time around here. There's a lot of people that will try to help.

[chicarosa]

Am I too late after 50 years?

Thank you all for your posts. I truly believe stumbling onto this site is going to be a great help to me. I felt so liberated yesterday just from admitting my fear and concern in writing. Your responses give me hope and make me feel that I no longer have to struggle alone. Knowing that there are people here who share me experience is comforting.
I will try to be alcohol free today. I have been reading lots of posts and have embraced the thought that I must only think about today. My alcohol brain cannot fathom the concept of never drinking again so I cannot think about that yet.
Yes, JMum, I think I would like a buddy. How does that work? I have read all of your messages many times and cannot thank you enough for sharing.
Chicarosa