Moderation movement...

[TrueGrit]

I know that I started a thread just yesterday about quitting for good but here are some new thoughts after my sleepless day one about moderation.

I actually did a lot of studying on both abstinence and moderation from some of the threads here and in a couple other places and with that information I think I am ready to move ahead with taking this into a Moderation phase for now. In my first thread I know I was pissed and really wanting to quit for good but that was part of the lingering emotion I had from a horrible night before. Please read on before you guys write me off.

Part of the reason why moderation would be better for my situation, if I can do it right, is that my wife has a huge family that hails from S.E. Asia and booze is a longstanding tradition in which there is no escape from those triggers unless I wanted to ostracize completely from the whole and that would not be right as after her father passed I am pretty much the patriarch of the family. In this moderation I will be limiting myself to two days a week on the weekends or two days period if there is a social gathering during the week. I tried something similar to this before however this time is different, I am actually fully committed to this wholeheartedly instead of the half assed way I did before. That is why I am here talking with you fine people.

This seems like the best route instead of setting myself up for failure in my situation.

[Overit-still]

Moderation movement...

I really hope it can work for you. Good luck. I will keep you in my thoughts. Check in from time to time and let us know how it's going.

[K9Lover]

Moderation movement...

There is a Long Term Moderators thread you might want to post on. They can probably help you achieve your goals better than us abstainers can. For most of us, moderation is nothing more than a dream...it just won't work for us. Good luck in your endeavors!

[TrueGrit]

Moderation movement...

Overit-still;1613479 wrote: I really hope it can work for you. Good luck. I will keep you in my thoughts. Check in from time to time and let us know how it's going.

Thank you!

I will continue to post to this thread and share honest results and I am more than confident that I can achieve this. If I fail at this than I will have to be honest with myself that I have been beaten and it is time quit for good. The only reason why I put that option and thought on the table is that I have always been analytical and even though I am confident there needs to be a way out just in case.

[TrueGrit]

Moderation movement...

K9Lover;1613481 wrote: There is a Long Term Moderators thread you might want to post on. They can probably help you achieve your goals better than us abstainers can. For most of us, moderation is nothing more than a dream...it just won't work for us. Good luck in your endeavors!

I actually read pretty deep into that thread during my sleepless night one. Thank you for the wishes!

[Jazi's Mum]

Moderation movement...

Hi TrueGrit. Have you considered the Sinclair Method using Naltrexone, or Topamax? Or baclofen? Each of them can be a great help at the beginning to give you some 'distance' from heavy drinking.

Then you can decide if moderation is working, or if you really do have to quit.

I've just started to read a terrific book I saw recommended here:

The Heart of Addiction: A new approach to understanding addiction. It's by Lance M Dodes, M.D. From what I've read so far it looks like a real tool to understand why we do what we do, and how to view our addiction in a way that can help us stop...

Hope you find the path that is right for you. I hope you stick around and post so we can get to know you. :welcome:

[TrueGrit]

Moderation movement...

Jazi's Mum;1613501 wrote: Hi TrueGrit. Have you considered the Sinclair Method using Naltrexone, or Topamax? Or baclofen? Each of them can be a great help at the beginning to give you some 'distance' from heavy drinking.
I have always been adverse to taking medication for just about anything other than a headache, I will check into those though as I have seen many comments about them.

Jazi's Mum;1613501 wrote: I've just started to read a terrific book I saw recommended here:

The Heart of Addiction: A new approach to understanding addiction. It's by Lance M Dodes, M.D. From what I've read so far it looks like a real tool to understand why we do what we do, and how to view our addiction in a way that can help us stop...

I did a Google search on the book and it looks quite interesting, thanks for sharing and I will have to give that a good look over for sure.

Jazi's Mum;1613501 wrote: Hope you find the path that is right for you. I hope you stick around and post so we can get to know you. :welcome:

I plan on it for sure. Where I come from and the people that I deal with admitting a problem with addiction is considered a sign of weakness, this place gives me a chance to speak with people that have gone through or are going through the same. It is very refreshing to say the least.

[MossRose]

Moderation movement...

Hi TG. From what I've read, there are plenty of folks who are able to moderate successfully. Unfortunately I'm not one of them, but that's my story not yours. If I recall, there is a recommended 30 day AF period prior to giving it a shot. Do you plan on doing that? If so, see how you feel at that point, and then make a decision. As you know, there are moderating threads here that may be very helpful to you. I've read through them too and everyone seems nice and welcoming. I sincerely wish you the best and hope you keep us posted. And if at anytime, you feel confused or unsure while you are getting this all figured out, just give us a shout. We'll be here.

[Myluck]

Moderation movement...

TG - good luck with that. Moderation is something that doesn't work for everybody and if you read plenty of posts here - there is an abundance of folks here who tried it and they write about the experience. I agree with MR here - it took me time but I realize I can't moderate, it always starts "week end only" and then creeps to every day plan alcoholism.

[DipGal]

Moderation movement...

TG - I plan to moderate as well. I am in the middle of my 30 days AF, and so far so good. Apparently the 30 days helps us reset our tolerance and "get a grip".. The book that has been very helpful to me is "Take Control of your drinking and you may not need to quit" by Michael S. Levy, PHD. He walks you through a true plan - a contract with yourself that outlines YOUR moderation plan. If you (or I) continue to drink more than what we want, then we need to consider abstaining.

I believe this whole thing is a personal journey. Only by experimentation will we be able to determine what works for us and what doesn't. We always have a reason (excuse) why we must drink because - fill in the blank. All our reasons are good ones, but in reality if we cannot moderate and AL is causing a problem in our life, we may need to bite the bullet and kick it to the curb. Fear of how people will react and many more potential fears can hold us back. My fear is - how will I ever have the kind of fun that I used to have when I was tipsy/drunk? How can I possibly do the things I enjoy without AL? I am doing my 30, but have not been doing any of the things that I love to do (playing poker, going out with friends to places other than coffee shops). I am keeping away from all the things I associate with drinking. I am really just existing, not living the way I like to live. I guess what I enjoy doing would change if I planned to abstain permanently.

I just joined a Ruby Tuesday thread in the Long-Term moderators section.. Every Tuesday (or thereabouts) we post what our modding plan is for the coming week. Then , the next Tuesday we tell everyone how we did. No judgment, just a way to be held accountable. There is also a monthly thread in the same section that is just a daily conversation for those trying to mod. It really helps to get support from those who are trying to do the same thing you are.

We Midwesterners (and everyone else!) can do this!!! Long winded, but I use these posts as a way to get my thoughts out!

[Jazi's Mum]

Moderation movement...

TrueGrit, I've read over in The Sinclair Method forum, and in Dr. Escapa's book on the Sinclair Method, that not drinking for 30 days and then attempting to moderate is counter-productive. I realize this is a very personal decision, however, the research indicates that there is something called the 'deprivation effect' where you simply re-excite your brain so that you drink even more after a period of abstinence...most of us call it a 'relapse.'

I know this is not what anyone wants to hear - almost everyone here will insist that a 30-day abstinence is necessary before you start any plan. I simply don't agree and Dr. Sinclair's research is where this comes from. Maybe some other naltrexone-experienced folks will chime in here too.
JMum

[TrueGrit]

Moderation movement...

MossRose wrote: If I recall, there is a recommended 30 day AF period prior to giving it a shot. Do you plan on doing that?
I did read on that as well however I wont be going that route, I just want to jump in and knock it out. I just feel that if I do 30 days AF than I will be counting it down hardcore and will really want to hit the bottle harder. I feel that if I have short maintained bursts only on the weekend that will be the way to go.

DipGal wrote: but have not been doing any of the things that I love to do (playing poker, going out with friends to places other than coffee shops). I am keeping away from all the things I associate with drinking. I am really just existing, not living the way I like to live. I guess what I enjoy doing would change if I planned to abstain permanently.

I feel the exact same way, I do enjoy drinking and the activities that it entails and I still want that to be a part of my life. I am doing this because I dont want to completely get rid of something I really enjoy but to control it and subdue it for use at my pleasure instead of it doing that to me would be a massive victory.

Jazi's Mum wrote: TrueGrit, I've read over in The Sinclair Method forum, and in Dr. Escapa's book on the Sinclair Method, that not drinking for 30 days and then attempting to moderate is counter-productive. I realize this is a very personal decision, however, the research indicates that there is something called the 'deprivation effect' where you simply re-excite your brain so that you drink even more after a period of abstinence...most of us call it a 'relapse.'

I agree with that a hundred percent and made a comment above from a related post. I know if I gave 30 days I would come back at the bottle with a vengeance. I will beat this and use it appropriately at my own pleasure, to me that would be the ultimate win.

[DipGal]

Moderation movement...

Interesting JM..about no 30 day period.. I am doing it more for my health and weight more than anything else..

[Jazi's Mum]

Moderation movement...

Morning everyone. Moderation is really the only way to go at first. Let's face it, the thoughts of not drinking at all, when we drink for deeply personal psychological reasons, is just too daunting.

Use whatever tools you can, moderate the best you can, make sure you have a PLAN. Get some distance so you can THINK. It usually becomes very clear whether you can moderate or not. then you can deal with it when that happens.

Just don't get discouraged. I know you are one of many who really hate the thought of taking a drug to help. I won't, and can't, push it here because it's not seen as a good thing by the majority. But it is just a tool, like any other tool in the toolbox. But I tell ya, if I had headaches that were stopping me from living the life I want to live, I'd take a pill.
JMum

[MossRose]

Moderation movement...

Jazi - thanks for your post. I hadn't read that about the 30 days AF, but in some ways it makes total sense. I don't "not want" to hear anything. Knowledge is power, right? I know it won't work for me (heavy sigh), but I am so glad that others may benefit from that information.

TG - glad to see you active on the boards. Best chance at success, no matter which path you choose. btw...are you done with this winter, yet? I am!!