Now or never!

[maji]

Hi,

I have been here before.

Being a very sensitive person I use wine to numb my sensitivities, otherwise I find this world rather too painful, that I felt ever since childhood.

It has to stop and I am scaring myself with this what I would term addiction.

If I stop for even one day, I feel so much better, and yet back I go again.

I was driving the other evening along dark country roads having yet another stressful situation show up and was overcome by a panic attack. I have not had one of those for decades. It was a sobering (pun intended) experience, hence coming here.

I am self aware enough to understand that I am committing a slow suicide, a deliberate self sabotage that is unfathomable to me at one level, and yet I can observe it and see it for what it is, as if I am some other being watching myself.

I had to say to myself do I want to exit from this planet, or do I want to embrace my purpose here, in other words step up to life, reveal who I am and do THAT.

I am still not sure of the answer to that question to myself, but I am here and the scare with the panic attack, when I really felt that I was about to die, has woken me up.

So here I am.

Thank you for witnessing, and I look forward to participating here.

[Pavati]

Now or never!

Welcome, Maji--

You've found a great place to get sober. I recommend reading all you can, especially in the tool box. There are lots of ideas about how to get and stay sober, and some tools for anxiety as well. I was brought after experiencing a panic/anxiety attack (brought on by alcohol use), too. I saw you posted in the Newbies Nest, too. That is a great place to hang out as there is always someone there.

See you around.

[maji]

Now or never!

Thank you Pavati,

I look forward to participating.

[Nelz]

Now or never!

Welcome aboard Maji.....it all starts with self realization....and the first step. You can do it