please help,model turned alcoholic and an embarresment to my baby girl
Hi Bimble,
I can relate very well to what you have said about lack of self care and not showering as examples, all part of the self-loathing and low self-esteem I feel.
When I think about this tendency I can equate it with not wanting to waste limited resources onn myself! What is all that about I wonder.
More people than we care to know I feel have had very challenging upbringings. To some extent I feel that when we have that sort of awareness there is in a sense a larger picture or perspective that is calling to us to be strong to break these patterns for our children and future generations.
I am speaking as much to myself here as to you.
I am certainly finding that writing/blogging is very helpful, even if it's just a line or two it feels less lonely then.
This is day 3 for me, and typically the day where I cave in! That is not going to happen this time because I can see more clearly the patterns and have a better understanding of that.
Just two days; reading, writing and being supported has made all the difference. What I am trying to say that even after as little as two days I, and you can too, feel so much stronger. Kanu (I hope I got the name correct) said that the first week is the hardest so this first week is very much a day by day for me.
But it all seems very possible with the support here and writing how I feel and experience things, it takes away the feelings of isolation. Isolation is a prison where we become our own jailer turning toward the wall rather than seeing the open door to freedom that was always there for us we just did not see it.
Courage! If I can, you can.
:h
Hi Bimble,
I can relate very well to what you have said about lack of self care and not showering as examples, all part of the self-loathing and low self-esteem I feel.
When I think about this tendency I can equate it with not wanting to waste limited resources onn myself! What is all that about I wonder.
More people than we care to know I feel have had very challenging upbringings. To some extent I feel that when we have that sort of awareness there is in a sense a larger picture or perspective that is calling to us to be strong to break these patterns for our children and future generations.
I am speaking as much to myself here as to you.
I am certainly finding that writing/blogging is very helpful, even if it's just a line or two it feels less lonely then.
This is day 3 for me, and typically the day where I cave in! That is not going to happen this time because I can see more clearly the patterns and have a better understanding of that.
Just two days; reading, writing and being supported has made all the difference. What I am trying to say that even after as little as two days I, and you can too, feel so much stronger. Kanu (I hope I got the name correct) said that the first week is the hardest so this first week is very much a day by day for me.
But it all seems very possible with the support here and writing how I feel and experience things, it takes away the feelings of isolation. Isolation is a prison where we become our own jailer turning toward the wall rather than seeing the open door to freedom that was always there for us we just did not see it.
Courage! If I can, you can.
:h
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