Many of you here know that I recently went through a divorce. It was final in August. It's been rough. I was hurt because I didn't want the divorce. Anyway, that's all water under the bridge. I have been so proud that my ex and I have managed to stay good friends through the whole thing. We talk often. My friends and family have been leery, but I have assured them that I know what I am doing. Well, last night I learned that I am a complete fool. I am only telling you all this because I need to vent. I am distraught - and when I get like this, I drink. Period. I haven't caved yet, but I am seriously wondering why not. Really, just why not.
My ex left town for work almost 9 months ago. In that time, I have foolishly offered support, money, and ego strokes. I know how stupid that sounds, but he can be very charming. Anyway, my friends and family have seriously chastised me already. I should have listened. They saw who, and what, he was long before I did. So, about a week ago, he informed me that he was moving back to town. I was conflicted. I knew it would be hard to have him near again, since I still have such deep feelings for him. But as always, I decided to be a supportive friend. (Co-dependent, rescuer, idiot!!) He is jobless, penniless, and in some ways, totally pathetic. But, I offered to help him find work. Last night, he texted me about a job lead I had for him and asked me to give him a call. So I did. Imagine my shock when I realized it was a set-up. He was acting very strange on the phone which I didn't understand since he had asked me to call him. Finally, he told me that he was "staying" with another woman and it was really none of my business. She was listening in. I could hear her. WTH? We aren't 16 anymore. I felt so stupid. They were actually laughing at me.
I know how this sounds. Immature, silly, and not worth caring about. Intellectually, I know this is true. But the cruelty was more than I could bear. Struggling mightily tonight. That's all. Thanks for listening. Thank God for all of you. I couldn't make this stuff up.
My ex left town for work almost 9 months ago. In that time, I have foolishly offered support, money, and ego strokes. I know how stupid that sounds, but he can be very charming. Anyway, my friends and family have seriously chastised me already. I should have listened. They saw who, and what, he was long before I did. So, about a week ago, he informed me that he was moving back to town. I was conflicted. I knew it would be hard to have him near again, since I still have such deep feelings for him. But as always, I decided to be a supportive friend. (Co-dependent, rescuer, idiot!!) He is jobless, penniless, and in some ways, totally pathetic. But, I offered to help him find work. Last night, he texted me about a job lead I had for him and asked me to give him a call. So I did. Imagine my shock when I realized it was a set-up. He was acting very strange on the phone which I didn't understand since he had asked me to call him. Finally, he told me that he was "staying" with another woman and it was really none of my business. She was listening in. I could hear her. WTH? We aren't 16 anymore. I felt so stupid. They were actually laughing at me.
I know how this sounds. Immature, silly, and not worth caring about. Intellectually, I know this is true. But the cruelty was more than I could bear. Struggling mightily tonight. That's all. Thanks for listening. Thank God for all of you. I couldn't make this stuff up.
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