Newbies in need - Day 15

[Dog Woman]

Newbies in need - Day 15

empty calories vs healthy calories

Good response Ducky to remind us about eating habits.

Got to go. Everyone have a good day. .... hated the phrase, but now it has more meaning.
DW

[evergreen]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hart,
4 pounds in 7 days is alot!! Good weight loss is about 2 pounds a week. Also 7 times 1200 is just 8400. I think that a pound is 3500 calories. You are ahead of the game!!!

It is amazing the math you can do sober!! Hee Hee!

[Jacy]

Newbies in need - Day 15

It has to stop

I am so glad to be reading from those of you who are continuously encouraging some of us that are struggling to keep trying. I was doing really good for a while and then the next thing I know I have given in yet again. Last week was the worst I was having a very down week and ended up drinking each day.

What really got me going was a call I had made to Mom. She was really rude to me and blaming me for yelling at her when it was my Dad. We were discussing something and she got out of control. I haven't mentioned that I have some issues with my family, but continue to still keep in touch. After talking to my Mom I was an emotional mess and drank more than I would have on a weekday. I am just tired of having people take out there anger on me.

So I really went crazy on the weekend and drank a lot. This Monday I was so hungover it wasn't even funny. Of course I drank again when I got home from work to curb the cravings. I am now trying to work on day 1 today. I can relate to all of yous that have talked about your frustration with yourselves. I have had a lot of the same feelings.

For those of you that are doing great I applaude you. I really believe that I will get there. The first time I started I didn't think I would make it a day let alone 8 days at once. We all need to stick together and I am truly grateful to have this site as lately all I really been doing is reading what you all are talking about I have been feeling to ashamed and guilty. I also realized it helps to talk about what is bothering and get feedback.

[Accountable for Me]

Newbies in need - Day 15

(((Jacy)))

I know all too well the 'urges' that come after speaking with family. My mother, too, has taken her anger out on me for... oh.... I think since I was in her womb! One thing I realized after drowning myself in the alcohol for several years mostly because of this is that I deserve to be happy and healthy.

I had to stop owning other peoples problems. Once I figured this out I was able to kick the drink to the curb and start to find MY happiness. I have had 5 drinks in almost 5 months and the difference for me now is that I don't have to drown in it anymore. And another thing is once I stopped playing 'their misery' game and headed towards a new life of actual happiness and better health they (esp. my mom) stopped taking their shit out on me. Misery loves company and I wasn't playing anymore!

Don't let anyone take your life away from you. You focus on your own healing and happiness. Don't own your family's problems anymore! Sending you strength!!!!!

[Janice]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Jacy - your story sounded so familiar!! Over the last 10 years I have been caught up in the middle of family issues - not with my husband and kids who are "my rocks" but my mum, dad, and brother. Its such a long long story which I won't go into but basically I feel it got me into this dark place. (Thats my excuse anyway!) Over the last year, I've decided that enoughs enough and I have to put myself, my husband and my kids first now. Its so hard as both parents are elderly but I have to do it to keep my sanity. Like you, night after night, I would come off the phone an emotional mess after trying to sort things out between my parents (they split up last year aged 86 and 78!! and Dad had to move out -mam is an alcoholic and things got so very bad). Now I'm concentrating on getting myself well. This site has picked me up - I'm on Day 16 now and have everyone on here to thank. Life is too short and too special to be spoilt and wasted by alcohol. Great to hear from you Jacy, good luck, Janice.

[Janice]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Can so relate to you too Accountable - about owning other people's problems and playing their "misery" game - thats exactly what it was. I used to think I could sort it but now I realise and accept that I can't. Everything was so negative. Here's to us!!! Janice

[ducky]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Jacy, glad you are back at it again. It takes time, for sure. Family issues can really be a trigger for a lot of us. I hope you will be able to follow the lead of a couple of our members who shared their own stories and let your family worry about themselves a bit. Good luck and keep reading and posting. Don't feel guilty; we all are struggling with the same issues. You will get there!

[Trooper]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hi Janice - I have read Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Stop Drinking," but does he have another one about controlling drinking? Thanks for your help with this!

Trooper

[Janice]

Newbies in need - Day 15

Hi Trooper - yes he does - there was some discussion about this in the "what we're reading" forum about whether they are the same or not. I'm not sure but I could only get the control version. Check out the forum below - its helpful re other books - I've just ordered "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs and Caroline Knapp's love story to try and keep my motivation going. Janice

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 15

To Jacy:
Family issues can be a trigger, but so can any emotional upset, even if the problem is our own.

I have done well for periods then had a bad experience and turned to alcohol.

I think the key is having the ability to step back and realize that this substance, among a whole lot of other ones, makes things worse not better. There have bo be alternate ways of soothing onself but we get into the habit of using alcohol to do that. It's like a dysfunctional relationship.

My therapist has told me that you can't find those other healthy ways of coping while drinking so it is good to take a break from drinking.

About those Allan Carr books trooper, I read on another post that the "control" and "stop" books are the same. He is oriented towards abstinence but in my opinion those who want to moderate can learn a lot neverthelss. Check the "What we are reading" section.