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    #1

    Trying to decide

    I was invited to join a fun group of people tonight. Unfortunately, they are meeting in a bar. My friends and family are encouraging me to go. They know how lonely I get at times and they think this is a great opportunity for me to meet some new people. Which is probably true. I hibernate way too much. However, I am struggling. I have never been out with these people before, so they know little about me. And I feel happy that they have included me. It would be so easy to order my iced tea or lemonade without any questions asked. I was actually looking forward to this all day long, but now, I'm nervous. I haven't been in a bar (no food - just booze!) in a long time. Maybe this is the test I need. Can I function in a fun social situation without drinking?? Wow - I wish it wasn't this hard, because I would really like to go.

    I trust you all. What do you think? I've been sober for quite a while, and could probably manage. Any advice?
    Everything is going to be amazing
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    #2
    Trying to decide

    Hi MRose,

    Only you can know if it's going to be fun or very difficult re: alcohol. For me it's still kind of difficult, though I can pull it off.

    If you go, just EAT before you go, some good protein and the like. Have your drink order in mind and focus on the (hopefully) lovely new faces around you! I hope you make some new friends-always a great thing! You can do this if you want, and it will also be a good barometer for the next outing.

    Ann

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      #3
      Trying to decide

      If you go and conquer it will give you the psychological boost that could make your AF stint a lifelong success. Go for it and Good Luck!
      Last drink 6th September 2013

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        #4
        Trying to decide

        This is just my opinion, but if there is any doubt or uncertainty in your mind, don't go. This is your gut talking to you. If you aren't strong enough to risk the temptations yet, I wouldn't risk it. I was talking about this is in the nest earlier....if you were on an extremely strict diet, and got invited to an all you can eat buffet and told you can't eat, would you still go? This is similar, putting yourself in a situation where it is expected that you drink isn't wise. We aren't Mother Theresa, we yield to temptation and peer pressure. There will be other opportunities to mingle. Protect your quit like your life depended on it. In my case, it does.
        Just my 2 cents, i have seen an awful lot of folks fall because they were just too early in the process and they rushed it. Unless you are rock solid, i wouldn't gamble with it. Hugs! Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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        Newbie's Nest

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          #5
          Trying to decide

          Moss, go. You've a lot of AF experience behind you, and since it sounds as if you don't know the people, they won't know you as a drinker, which would probably lead to fewer questions re your drinking/not drinking. Maybe have an excuse ready should you feel the need to leave early? But my vote is for you to test your wings - go and enjoy the evening!
          14 October 2013 was the first day of the best days of my life!

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            #6
            Trying to decide

            Acadia - thanks for the quick response. I hate to admit that it will be difficult for me. Very difficult. But, I know that eventually I have to get back out there and live in the real world. I can't hide forever, right? I put myself in a very precarious situation recently, and while I stayed strong, it was draining. I don't want a repeat tonight. I have about another 3 hours to decide. Thank you.
            Everything is going to be amazing

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              #7
              Trying to decide

              I posted before I saw the other responses. Thank you Byrdie, Dream and Softy. Right now, it just feels good to not be alone, no matter what I decide. It will keep me strong.
              Everything is going to be amazing

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                #8
                Trying to decide

                Moss, you have my cell number if you go and feel wobbly just call or text me. Xo, B
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                Newbie's Nest

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                  #9
                  Trying to decide

                  Byrdie - there are no words. Thank you!!! xxxxoooxxxx
                  Everything is going to be amazing

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                    #10
                    Trying to decide

                    MR i am sure you will be fine but i agree with Byrd if you feel unsure dont go, there is plenty of time to be sociable and secure in not drinking. But if you do go and dont drink then as Softy says the psychological benefits are huge. London went out and did not drink and he battled also about going and he now sounds as if it is what he needed. Whatever you decide you will be strong and the decision will be the right one.
                    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                      #11
                      Trying to decide

                      Hi Avail - always wonderful to hear from you. Love your photo, btw!! Just beautiful. I am feeling so unsure about tonight that I'm swinging towards staying home. It makes me sad and mad that I am so weak, but I've had a rough week (I know - that sounds like an excuse, and it is), but finding out that my ex is living with another woman in my neighborhood has stressed me out. I'm not even sure why I feel so hurt, but I do. So, it is taking every bit of my strength not to drink "at him." Probably just my ego talking. aarrgh. We are divorced, so it shouldn't matter, but it hurts anyway. So, I think maybe I am safer hiding out at home. Byrdie says I need to protect my quit at all costs, and I agree. But damn, I am so disappointed. These are really nice people. I hope they are still around when I am stronger.
                      Everything is going to be amazing

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                        #12
                        Trying to decide

                        There will be plenty of time MR to go and be social, sounds like you should stay home. If i dont feel happy about anything now i just dont do it, simple really. I did not get to 64 days by putting myself in al's harm and until i feel totally secure i wont do it. Bloody ex's, mine moved in with my best friend who i have known since she was 11. Wow that was a total spin out but life goes on and now we all get on fine. You are a strong beautiful woman and you will be fine. I would come over and stay with you if you did not live so damn far away. Hugs xx
                        AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                          #13
                          Trying to decide

                          avail - I wold love it if you were here!! Looking forward to the day that we meet in person. Don't be too surprised - I've always wanted to visit Australia. Got an extra bed? LOL.
                          Everything is going to be amazing

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                            #14
                            Trying to decide

                            We could have a girl's night in!!! Take off all our makeup and watch sappy girl movies!!! I invited myself over, sorry!
                            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                            Newbie's Nest

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                              #15
                              Trying to decide

                              Hi, I'm just 5 weeks into AF but did manage to stay AF for much longer before I fell off the band wagon again, I stopped going out socially when it was just a drinking session because it got so boring watching everyone get wrecked, it made me realise how alcohol turns you into a different person, out of control and then you suffer for it the next day! then, and now I only go out with friends for drinks (I have Becks blue) if there is a meal or buffet, or bowling, film etc. involved too, otherwise no matter how interesting the conversation is if I'm the only one not drinking I want to sneak off around 10-10.30pm before the beer goggles set in for everyone else!
                              I'm sure you've made the right decision Moss Rose, you have to go with your gut feeling, well done
                              AF since 8.8.14

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