I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

[Bastet]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Good for you Tom! Just be careful of getting compliant. The first few days are pretty heady and then it gets a little boring and the "I wasn't so bad was I?" start and it is easy to think you can have a drink. I'm not saying this will happen to you but I remember day 9 and 10 being really hard. You can post your days on the newbie roll call and it is kind of fun and challenging to watch your numbers go up. I also feel like if I post my number in the morning that I have made a promise to myself not to drink that day. I hope to see you around the newbie nest.

[poppy62]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Hi Tom good for you joining here and posting. I found what worked for me was coming clean with my husband, family and close friends about my problem with al. I needed to do this to get support and not have the pressure or the expectaions from others to drink. Might it be an idea to have a serious chat with your wife about your al problem so that you get her on board with your new af status my husband and lots of other spouses on here I am sure can vouch that having an af partner is so much better than living with the drunked messes a lot of us were. I still socialises but I drink af wine or beer just looks the same , I have even called ahead to a venue to check out what af drinks they stock and one place did not stock any but said they would get some in for me, no questions asked just a willingness to help. I know there are mixed thought on af drinks but it works for me. You also said that you may miss business oportunities if you are not in the bar socialising , but maybe you should ask yourself is any deal really worth more than your health and happiness ??? . Good luck my friend with your continued af life is really does get better and better hang in there !!

[tomthyme]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

You guys are awesome! Such great words of encouragement and support.

Bassett..I can totally see how that happens. I went AF once for 15 days and was like, "see, I'm no drunk"...well you know the rest. Thanks for the reminder.

Poppy62..I very much appreciate hearing that. My sweetie comes home tomorrow nite..a little nervous, but we both want long happy lives together more than anything, so I bet she'll be on board.

Feeling good on day 6. Really surprised in my performance change at the gym, more power, more stamina, 5lbs down in less than a week!

Most of all I feel better. Sure there are moments where I think about al, but I feel so much better I can't see myself going back. I'm not into ink but that would make a great tattoo.

Do we have a spot where we record the best al free drinks? I'm quite a mixologist and want to play around with al free flavors. Just wondering if there is something going already.

You guys have a great day!
Tom

[treetops]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Tom - I am sure your wife will be supportive.
Its also a good idea to have a snack before going out to a boozy social function - as hunger (at least for me) is not good.
I have remained AF through being with others tasting wine in the Loire Valley - as well as eating tapas in Spain - and also lounging around on tropical islands. No this is not my regular job - and I am not a pampered alkie in recovery!:H:H
Actually the hardest yards have been at home, alone - after a heavy day at work - and then facing lots of boring household chores.

[j-vo]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Hi Tom,
Sounds like you've made the right choice for yourself. You're already strong physically, so this may be much easier than you originally thought. Hopefully your wife is on board with you. Having a conversation about your feelings about the al problem is important between partners, as the more we understand each other's needs, support can be given. Good luck to you!

[MossRose]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Hi Tom. Glad to hear that you are hanging in there. I like the idea of a AL-free drink thread. Maybe in the recipe section? I'm always looking for new ideas. Let's get creative!

[tomthyme]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

You bet Rose. Should I just get it started?

Got a heck of.a surprise today. Was headed to a meeting with an associate that was to run 1230-4. I assumed we would start with lunch, but he had already eaten. I zipped into a upscale burger joint to grab something to go. Always knew those orders were placed at the bar, just never thought about it. It felt kinda nostalgic being at a bar waiting for my sandwich drinking water, then the bartender passed a drink right under my nose to a patron behind me. It wasn't even something I would usually order, but I was amazed at the alluring aroma. I was shocked! I never really noticed the smell (except wine) to this degree. Smelled wonderful. I turned, focused on the game on tv and waited for my sandwich to ponder what had just happened. I turned back and began to focus on the people at the bar...with the bartender giving them 'their usual' without it being ordered. Most of them didn't look very healthy, didn't seem happy and were kinda bitchy. What an experience. I felt a little like an outsider. As soon as my to go order was there, I was out of there quickly. It was weird how I felt. It was like I saw a friend, but didn't want to talk to them. Happy to report a very good meeting, a good dinner tonite with a cranberry and diet 7up.

Thanks again for all the support!
Tom

[Byrdlady]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Getting that distance from AL is so important! Well done today! Rinse and repeat!

I dont recall a NON AL driink thread...I will do a search and see what I turn up and I will bump it up for you. I know there was a smoothie thread for a while.

So happy for your progress! B

[MossRose]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Tom - I'm so proud of you. You passed a very difficult test. As Byrdie says - getting distance is so important. I am lucky - my current job doesn't require me to be in many business/drinking situations, but I remember those days. You did good.

Do you own a juicer by any chance.? I use mine daily - fresh veggies and fruit. It has helped heal my AL-ravaged body. I know I sound like an infomercial, but I swear by it. I watched the documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" and ran out and bought a juicer the next day. I had wanted one for years, but the price always held me back. But, that movie gave me the push to finally do it. His story is different from ours, but very compelling, so I figured, what the heck...

If you never seen it, here's a link: Watch Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead online | Free | Hulu

Hope you are having a good night. Things are very peaceful here, so I feel blessed.

[Byrdlady]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Tom, i couldnt find a thread on non alcohol drinks. As you can imagine, that search brought up a ton of hits, but no thread. So start your own! Sorry to turn up dry :H:H:H! Hugs, B

[tomthyme]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Rose...thanks so much. A buddy at the gym has mentioned that movie before...wonder why?? Hhmm

Byrd...will do! Thanks for checking.

All..woohoo day 6! Got some snow in Dallas today..crazy Texas weather. Good workout this morning but could use a little more sleep. I'll have to catch that tonite after my sweetie gets home.
My very best to you all!
Tom

[DreamThinkDo]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Almost party hat time for you, Tom - well done. And snow in Dallas? What?

I did a search for mocktails - here are some threads - not sure how usable they are, but it's a start.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...ers-70528.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...eve-70531.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...nks-63012.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ink-46393.html
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...s-me-8620.html

[tomthyme]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Oooohhhhhkkkkkkkkaaaaayyyy. Day 7! Good workout this morning. Sweetie is home. She didn't comment that I didn't drink last night, but she must have noticed. Still a little nervous there, so we haven't had 'the big chat' yet. Friends inviting us out this weekend, but I might play it off as a calorie choice for now. I'll be 50 in June and I can easily make a fitness goal out of things. These friends would understand if I say I'm "taking a break". Heck, it might even set an example, but who knows...that's their issue, not mine.

So glad you guys are here. Is there such a thing as a closet non-drinker? Broadcasting things to the world seems more than a bit uncomfortable.

Take care all!
Tom

[MossRose]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Tom - there is definitely such a thing as a closet non-drinker. When I first came to MWO, I lived in absolute terror of being outed. Every time I posted anything remotely personal, I fretted all night. What if someone recognized me?? Then I realized that if they are lurking or posting on MWO, well - then they would definitely understand, so that no longer concerns me. However, I still have never felt the need to speak publicly about being an alky, or quitting the drink. A few close friends and family know, but it's still not something I would feel comfortable talking openly about at work. As unenlightened as it may sound, it could be a career killer for me. I've seen it happen, so I am careful.

But I agree - your friends will definitely understand the "taking a break" excuse. In fact, I've noticed that more and more people I know are just not drinking anymore. (We're all in our 50s) And these folks never had a problem in the first place. My guess is that it's for health reasons or they just don't enjoy it anymore. They are so easy with it, that no one thinks to question them. Sometimes I believe we overthink how others may react because we have this secret. Anyway, have a good time and enjoy a sober night with your friends.

Talk to your wife when the time seems right. Until then, just keep carrying on. You are doing great. Congrats on Day 7!!

[j-vo]

I know it is possible - just gotta figure it out (long post)

Tom,
What a great story! I like how you noticed that the people at the bar didn't look necessary happy. Bitchy. So alcohol didn't make them *poof! happy! And later they'll be like, why do I have this headache!