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    #1

    Empowerment

    Can anybody relate to this?

    I am coming up to 6 months off the booze and I have noticed that when I tell people they react in funny ways. Some people feel very threatened - it is like confronting a person who has conquered a demon they are fighting secretly makes them feel weak, scared and dispossessed. They immediately start making noises about how little they drink and how they don't have a problem.

    Then they go on to express surprise at me for (1) wanting to give up (2) managing to give up - surely I must be missing out, what do you do instead, are you bored? Etc

    I suppose by empowerment I mean the feeling of being in control, not a feeling of superiority or moral high ground. People can't just be happy for me in my choice, they feel that I am somehow being judgemental over their lives.

    The word is choice, I don't care if someone drinks or not. It is just that in the past the illness robbed me of having a choice. Now I am back in control.

    Keep On Keeping On y'all! :h
    Last drink 6th September 2013
    Tags: None
    #2
    Empowerment

    Hi Softy , firstly , congratulations on almost 6 months. Brilliant achievement and am delighted for you. I am back on track after many setbacks in the last year. Thanks for the tip on the "calm" app. I have started meditation every morning and its really helping me.
    I remember when i had good long sober time , I felt very proud telling people I had quit the booze. My close family and friends knew my reasons . I didnt care about what others thought but i did think that many were envious. I had a very positive outlook on life. I know so many that are heavy drinkers but I need to keep my distance from these at the moment.

    Well done again and hope I can do the same and stay sober.
    All the very best
    Damo
    Still trying !!!
    AF 25th June2014

    Comment

      #3
      Empowerment

      Great job softy...I am coming up on 6 months too...I haven't told many people so your post was very timely for me..
      Dottie

      Newbie's Nest

      Tool Box
      ____________
      AF 9.1.2013

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        #4
        Empowerment

        Here, here, Softy! It is all about choice! And I choose not to drink! Great job! Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          #5
          Empowerment

          Hey Softy. Always a pleasure to hear from you. I guess I'm lucky, because I have a lot of non-drinking friends and family, so it's not an issue for me. The rest - well, I just laugh it off, make an excuse, and it seems to go smooth. And yes, a few friends have confided in me that they are envious and would like to "cut back" on their drinking." I always offer encouragement, but no lectures. I'm hardly in the position to judge. But I am in the position to empathize.

          Glad to hear you are still doing so well. I'm inspired. We've been in this together for a long time and it's nice to see you taking back your life. It's wonderful, isn't it? I know that I am happy. And I choose not to drink!!!!
          Everything is going to be amazing

          Comment

            #6
            Empowerment

            Yes Softy. I agree. Not drinking is my choice. Other's may not understand, or perhaps understand a little too well.
            I am so glad to no longer feel powerless every day. As someone else said on here, not drinking is my super power. I can accomplish so much more without alcohol.
            No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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              #7
              Empowerment

              I only have 2 months but I can kinda relate. We went to dinner with some friends and some of them were encouraging me to drink and saying like -"you can't let me drink alone" etc... I felt like one was definitely judging me and not understanding about my choice. Idk it was weird. I feel really happy and comfortable w my choice so why do I feel so uncomfortable around them bc they are uncomfortable!

              Comment

                #8
                Empowerment

                Hi, Softy--

                Another thoughtful pondering...

                I have told very few people that I quit drinking. When I don't drink at dinners, parties, etc., I just say that I found myself forming a habit I didn't want to have, and feel so much better that I'm not sure when I'll go back. So far everyone has said they're "impressed" by my resolve and I have given them inspiration to cut back in their own lives.

                I do remember when I was drinking and an acquaintance quit drinking (someone who I never saw as a problem drunk, but didn't know him well). I quizzed him a lot - how? forever? He said it was for health and athletics. At the time I didn't realize that I was probably annoying him to no end as well as revealing my own problem to him. I really was very curious about how he was able to quit and that was why I was asking.

                Way to go on your 6 months! That's amazing.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Empowerment

                  little beagle;1626309 wrote: Yes Softy. I agree. Not drinking is my choice. Other's may not understand, or perhaps understand a little too well.
                  I am so glad to no longer feel powerless every day. As someone else said on here, not drinking is my super power. I can accomplish so much more without alcohol.
                  Spot on Beagle "I can acomplish so much more without alcohol" .
                  Still trying !!!
                  AF 25th June2014

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                    #10
                    Empowerment

                    Icanwithoutacan;1626334 wrote: I only have 2 months but I can kinda relate. We went to dinner with some friends and some of them were encouraging me to drink and saying like -"you can't let me drink alone" etc... I felt like one was definitely judging me and not understanding about my choice. Idk it was weird. I feel really happy and comfortable w my choice so why do I feel so uncomfortable around them bc they are uncomfortable!
                    Now that pisses me off "you cant let me drink alone"
                    Great name ican
                    Still trying !!!
                    AF 25th June2014

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Empowerment

                      Hi Softy,

                      Perhaps they are afraid that you will, like someone who has just discovered religion, that you will try to convert them, lol? Like you said, it may be their insecurities that make them question your motives.

                      Whatever it is, no worries. You've enjoyed 6 months without the alcoholic demon in control. I love Little Beagle's comment too, about "not drinking is my super power!".

                      Hats off to you! :l Patty
                      "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
                      so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."                       :hug:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Empowerment

                        Softy
                        I have treaded lightly with this one because I dont want to be labeled. The perception people have of alcholics is that, even though we are sober, somehow we cant make other good choices (in our work or our private lives). So I haven't "confessed" to my friends I simply tell then that I am not drinking without any other details. Even so, it is amazing how threatend they are by that simple statement. I guess people inherently know that drinking is really not a good thing and they just dont want us to remind them.
                        Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing.

                        William Butler Yeats

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                          #13
                          Empowerment

                          Thanks damo180! Yes the you can't let me drink alone is aggravating. Maybe I should say you can't just let me not drink? Whatever it's not making me want to drink I just want to be sober in peace w/o being mad to feel like a bore

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Empowerment

                            Glad this gave a discussion point, it is interesting to see other's reactions

                            Anyways, like everyone else, we are all just human beings trying out best to find happiness, and realising that drink has been an obstacle in that pursuit

                            It ain't easy to knock it down and keep it down

                            Appropriate on Valentines Day to share thoughts on a site like this were lots of people share kindness and compassion all year around. The MWO massive need no excuse to spread the love!
                            Last drink 6th September 2013

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