How do you deal with anger/rage?

[Change]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Briseus, im glad thngs are going better. Hows your weekend going so far?

Interesting what you say about self esteem. Mine plummeted last week when i relapsed. I went from being a confident, free thinking person after being AF for 2.5 weeks, to an angry and insecure mess within three days.

Enjoy your weekend. You'll eventually start getting such positive reinforcement from your efforts, you'll wonder why you let our life get eroded away be alcohol.

[lead366]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Hey BRI

One idea....Go buy one of those plastic baseball bats at a toy store and beat the living crap out of your bed or sofa.....Calms down the tremons in your hands....you can swear too whilst doing it LMFAO!

A few more days and you will feel better...:goodjob:

[j-vo]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

These are all great ideas for dealing with anger. My go to skills are either say "I'm angry and don't want to talk right now" then take a nap, or get on the treadmill. Giving yourself time before confronting someone is most important, as you don't want to try and work something out when you are in the height of your raw emotions.

[spiderwoman]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

In the early days, I used to sit back and think about how I'd retaliate whoever or whatever was upsetting me when I'd been sober for a few months, by the time I achieved that few months I didn't give a toss about other people's anger so I'd retreat for a soak in the bath and just leave whoever it was to their anger - the calm of being sober had really set into my life. Try to ride out the desire to commit murder, believe me it does pass

I was always angry and stressed when I drank, Icouldn't see it but everybody else did! My quit followed a massive row with my partner so I began it in a house full of tension with very little support from anywhere but was determined to stick with it. OH sat and waited for me to cave in and drink, superficially he was supportive but I could see the "here we go again" expression every time he looked at me.

It took about 8 months for him to believe I'd kicked it, and its taken another 6 for our relationship to really begin to heal, it is not a short process, but then again, I drank for 30 years ...

[spuddleduck]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

great thread, im afraid I also don't cope well with anger so im glad for the advice here. I tend to hold things in and then explode when I drink..... it all comes flooding out. I also believe that people get so used to us drinking and not dealing with things that they do take advantage. its easy to blame a drunk.

[Darkest Diamond]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Brilliant thread, walking for me is the one that helps the most, walking round streets where there are beautiful buildings. Playing squash also works for me.Also cleaning does help too. Years ago when an ex boyfriend upset me I drove round the streets with the windows shut in my car and screamed continuously.... have never got to that state of rage again,thank goodness!!!Only needed to do that once and it did help!

[briseus]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Change ~ my weekend went well. My first sober one in over a year! It was difficult at times. But I am glad that I didn't drink. I read lots, ate lots, played with my puppies, cleaned. Just filled my time.
And it's true. When you don't drink you do have a little up in your self and I believe more self esteem. When I drank it was non-existent. I hope you're doing well.

Lead ~ that's actually not a bad idea! I sold my boxing bag a little while ago and wonder why I did a silly thing like that!! So I need to find alternatives. Your suggestion is a good one. Need to get that anger out!

J-vo ~ you're absolutely right. Lately I have been doing that where I won't speak to or confront the person right away because tension is high. So I step outside myself and look in and realize I need to give it some time or I may just make matters worse and say something I don't mean!

Spiderwoman ~ that's for sharing your story. It's always difficult when your significant other has their doubts when you say you are going to do something. It's a lot nicer to have that support in place. I am determined to show my SO that I am serious and really want to get healthy and happy. I am sure he has his doubts but honestly our relationship is 100 times better when we are both sober. Or I should say when I am.
I will definitely try and ride out these feelings. Especially within the first week it can get difficult to deal with these emotions. But I am puttering through.

Spuddleduck ~ you are so right. It IS easy to blame a drunk. Whenever I tried to talk to my SO in the past and I was angry he would tell me I was drunk and not making any sense and blablabla. It was always me. Even when I barely drank it was me or it was because I was beyond intoxicated which hadn't been the case.
I also kept so many things inside where one night I would finally explode and I didn't care what came out of my mouth. This lead to so many problems. :/ but now getting sober I understand that I can't just "attack" people with my anger. I need to deal in healthier ways.

Darkest Diamond ~ cleaning definitely does help! I have a spare room that's a mess right now and if I get mad about something I usually bury myself amidst all the junk in there and go threw things and throw some out. Anything to just keep myself distracted. It's so easy for me to pick up the middle when I am pissed and stressed and unable to deal with my crazy emotions at the time.
It's definitely a work in progress. But I am getting there.
Journaling is also helping me. Find it very cathartic. And positive self talk. That's a biggie for me.

Hope everyone is well. xoxo
-Bri

[Icanwithoutacan]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Nice thread just what I needed... Been raging lately and feel like I am just a mean person esp to my kids- enjoyed all ur advice

[K9Lover]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Hi Bri!

I am proud of you for having a sober weekend...I know that is NOT easy, but you did it! What kind of puppies do you have (sorry if I missed you saying it somewhere earlier). I am quitting smoking again so I have been a bitch on wheels. I ordered an audio book from the library to listen to when I get all worked up, it's called The Realization of Being, and a book called The Power of Now. I hear they are good and maybe you can check those out? They'd kill some time anyway!

All drinking AT people ever did for me was turn me into a fat, lazy drunk. I showed them, eh??? :H

Hang in there my friend and enjoy that puppy breath! LOL

K9

[briseus]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Icanwithoutacan ~ don't worry. I often feel the same way. I sit there and go "wow! What's wrong with me?? I am just a mean, crotchety person!" But I need to realize that I am also in the beginning stages of my sobriety and need to give myself a bit of time. As well as be aware of things and people around me and if I get pissed I really need a breather.

Hey K9!! ~ yes! The weekend was definitely tricky to say the least. There were brief moments where I thought to myself that I really could use a drink. But I managed. My first weekend in forever.
I have two Yorkshire Terriers! ) one I had since he was a baby and my second I recently rescued. I need to be sober for them too. They make me so happy. When I first came on here I had my baby kittycat. And then he passed. I think that's where my drinking got worse and I felt lonely too. People were right. Having an animal in their life does make you accountable. And wants you to be better for yourself and them. Like the saying goes. "Be the person your dog thinks you are". Good luck on the quitting smoking! I know you can do it. ) And I do have the book - Power of Now - might need to reread that. Let me know how you're liking it.


I had another fit of rage yesterday.
The feeling of wanting a drink and the cravings are the strongest around these times because I just don't know how to deal with it properly out of all the emotions I am working through (over than anxiety).
I just say there so mad and thought that it wouldn't pass until I had a drink. But I sat with my emotions...and eventually the feeling passed. Like anything else. It will pass.

Onto day 9.
DAY NINE!!! Wow.
Haven't been this sober since Summer 2012.

[Stupot]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Hi all. This is a great thread - it has taken me years to be able to admit I am a nasty vicious drunk. I hardly ever argue sober, but I also hardly ever get through an evening drinking without initiating an argument. It's like a sick hobby! But I am also afraid that I do genuinely think all these angry thoughts but my sober self is so damned British and reserved that I don't address them.
I too got through the weekend sober and then for some reason decided that a meal out with my daughter needed wine. She is 6 so it isn't like she was drinking and I just joined in! Ridiculous! This then led to another 2 days of drinking and here I am again, feeling the shame and remorse with no memory of yesterday. I f**king hate this fight. But fight I will continue to do.

[briseus]

How do you deal with anger/rage?

Welcome to the thread Stupot! I am sorry to hear that you had a slip. Just get back up again?weekends are definitely the hardest for me?and at times when I am raging!! But like you, when I drank I would pick fights to no end! No wonder my boyfriend and I never saw eye to eye and things were so tense. It was because I was on his case 24/7 and picked non-exsistant fights that were just beyond stupid.
I was an angry, miserable person when I was drunk?when I look back I feel a little guilty?and kinda disgusted by the way I acted. :/ I wasn't horrible, but it wasn't me at all.
Alcohol only made it worse.
Now that I am sober?I still rage?but I need to figure out other ways of coping. Of course I crave alcohol during times like that - to forget?but it's better to work through it and figure out a solution than numb myself to it and never deal with it in the first place.

Have another crack at day 1. I know how much this drinking bs sucks. >