This is obviously a question for the single/divorced/widowed folks here, but all are welcome to respond. As many of you know, I am recently divorced. Prior to the divorce, I was separated for about a year and half. I took that time to repair my life. I quit drinking. I quit smoking. It has been quite the journey and took all of my attention and focus to get to this point. Romance was the last thing from my mind.
However...
Several months ago, I got back in touch with a HS sweetheart. Well, actually he was more than that - we were engaged 30 years ago. We ended up breaking up and going our separate ways, but there was never really any bad blood between us. So, he has been a great friend through all of this - my divorce, giving up AL, reinventing my life. Recently, he has made it clear that he wants more - perhaps even a life together. I'm not sure what I want. But I know that I really enjoy my time with him. However, I haven't even dated anyone since my divorce. I haven't felt strong enough or confident enough.
In fact, I have spent so much time hiding in my apartment over the last year, that I don't know how to do this anymore. Partly because I was married for so long, and can't conceive of dating again. But mostly, because I hide to protect my quit. He says he understands, but really? Can he really get how hard it would be for me to attend one of his business gatherings? He is, and always has been, a social drinker. I feel like he deserves better.
What do you all think? Am I being too cynical and losing out on happiness, or am I smart enough to know I'm not strong enough yet? I trust you all and will listen to your advice. I just want to make sure that it's real and I'm not just reaching for a life raft. If that makes sense?? He's a nice guy and deserves the best.
edit: I realize that if I have to ask, I probably already know the answer. But I am so unsure of EVERYTHING anymore, that I am reaching out for advice. I wish I could go back to being that girl that just KNEW how she felt - didn't have to second guess a thing. But AL changed all of that. I stopped trusting my intuition years ago. Wow - what a shame.
However...
Several months ago, I got back in touch with a HS sweetheart. Well, actually he was more than that - we were engaged 30 years ago. We ended up breaking up and going our separate ways, but there was never really any bad blood between us. So, he has been a great friend through all of this - my divorce, giving up AL, reinventing my life. Recently, he has made it clear that he wants more - perhaps even a life together. I'm not sure what I want. But I know that I really enjoy my time with him. However, I haven't even dated anyone since my divorce. I haven't felt strong enough or confident enough.
In fact, I have spent so much time hiding in my apartment over the last year, that I don't know how to do this anymore. Partly because I was married for so long, and can't conceive of dating again. But mostly, because I hide to protect my quit. He says he understands, but really? Can he really get how hard it would be for me to attend one of his business gatherings? He is, and always has been, a social drinker. I feel like he deserves better.
What do you all think? Am I being too cynical and losing out on happiness, or am I smart enough to know I'm not strong enough yet? I trust you all and will listen to your advice. I just want to make sure that it's real and I'm not just reaching for a life raft. If that makes sense?? He's a nice guy and deserves the best.
edit: I realize that if I have to ask, I probably already know the answer. But I am so unsure of EVERYTHING anymore, that I am reaching out for advice. I wish I could go back to being that girl that just KNEW how she felt - didn't have to second guess a thing. But AL changed all of that. I stopped trusting my intuition years ago. Wow - what a shame.
))))
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