What I loathe about alcohol is the waste of time, if the day after is a non working day I rarely get that much done, but neither do I relax fully. It is that awful half life.
I am grateful, last night I slept really well, no muscle spasms or twitches very little sweating. I know from the past this could all still come ...any time between now and day four but it does not always happen for me.
Today I have some really gritty things to sort out, internal and external insurance claims, due to storm damage to my house. Buying a new printer that is compatible with this lap top and my other lap top, (have 2 lap tops in case one goes wrong!!) Take broken lap top to be fixed.
This is all the minutaie of my life and a bit boring!! (very boring)
I woke up and prayed for a sober day, if I drink none of my tasks will be accomplished and I will feel awful about myself.
I also felt really resentful as I am on holiday but feel I am just trouble shooting rather than enjoying myself! (in the last few days have spent hours and hours cleaning due to soot coming through fireplace, because of the crumbling chimney stack) Also feel a level of fear as I have work to do, a lot of work, was going to go into work for a couple of days to do things but I know I need this week off.
I feel fearful about not going into work, resentful that I am feeling fearful etc!!!
I can see why I used to drink...... it immediately squashes the negative feelings but then it makes everything worse!!
I am going to do what I can and if I fail so be it.... but the main thing is I must not drink.
Going to try and keep this thread up for the first two weeks of my AF life as have seen others do this and it has helped them. Will not normally type in this level of detail but focus more on the feelings and general trend of how things are going.
Treats for today, lots of lovely food... want to put on about a stone in weight.Also long walk in sunshine, DVD tonight. Also have the urge to draw and sketch so will buy sketchpad and pencils.
Two little immediate bonuses, just from one day and night AF clear white sparkling eyes, and the puffy face has gone......... incredible, this shows me that my body wants to heal!! (very encouraging)
Thanks to everyone on here. I spend hours on this forum reading everything, the personal threads, the stories, LOAM, Newbies Nest, Long term abstainers etc.... the only bits I don't read are the Moderation threads, simply as I know that is not for me. Also it has been wonderful to pm with so many, that too has helped immensly.
Happy Sober day to all,
DD xx
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