I wanted to share my experiences so far with how I have progressed. Apologies if there is no flow and things appear random at times - I am reeling of different thoughts so that I can get it all down.
So far, what I have learned about my problem:
- I drink alcohol to cover up my perceived inadequacies. I have always used it to fit in and get over my anxieties in clubs etc.
- Alcohol in turn makes me more anxious, so I drink more to get over the anxiety caused by it.
- AL loses its buzz eventually and I resort to stimulants on nights out to get to the next level. Stimulants in turn make me drink more and more as they stop you from getting drunk.
- I didn't realise it was a problem. Having 4 pints, a few mixers and shots and clubbing all night was just a bit of fun.
- Alcohol was keeping me immature. By not facing my problems, I was in teenager mode still. Please everyone and anyone. Be manipulative to keep myself safe. Stay away from threats etc.
After 50 days:
- Giving up AL has given me the energy to approach other areas of my life. Without the blanket of AL, the uncomfortable feelings in life have to be faced. I cannot use AL to escape, as it were.
- My health, both physically and mentally is improving. Again, I didn't realise how bad I felt/looked until about 4 post after giving up drink and drugs. This is because of a host of other things - AL and narcotics obviously reek havoc on your body, but my sleep pattern has improved, I eat better & do not use processed rubbish as another blanket and I am back into a good exercise routine.
- I am wanting to go out more. Lack of money has always stopped me in the past. I needed drink to be out and about - which meant needed at least ?50 in my pocket. Now I know I can go anywhere on ?20 - a travel card and a bite to eat.
- I do not have to be what I think other people want me to be. I need to be what I am comfortable and happy being. Being inconsistent with my deeper philosophies only leads to confusion, anxiety, jealousy and frustration. I am unique - I am not another person I want to be.
- I am comfortable going to a pub and telling my friends straight that I want a soft drink. No lies about being on antiobiotics or driving. If they do not like me not drinking, so be it. If they are uncomfortable being around a sober person in a pub, then deep down they have problems with AL too IMO. Drink is an escape from something. Not drinking does not make me less of a man.
- I cannot impose what I want other people to be on them. Everyone is unique and they are on their own path.
- Giving up AL allows you to explore deeper and more meaningful avenues in life. You stop being so materialistic. Success for me is giving true value to other people. I used to have my own priorities at the centre of everything. I did everything to ultimately benefit me. Now I want to help spread energy, not to absorb it from other people.
- There is more to life than AL and sitting in front of a computer all day.
- Concentrating on the problem only makes things worse.
- I still have a long way to go, but I know this is the path to be on. When you let your spirit free you can achieve what you want.
- I value money more. ?50 on a night out.....I'd find a way to get 50 if I didn't have it to get out. ?50 on something fulfilling like a meal out with friends or a day trip was a waste of money. ?50 now has so much more value and potential to it.
- Reading is the biggest gift I have been missing out on. I am learning more about everything so quickly. My life was a tunnel vision of go out get smashed, recover, get smashed, recover, survive, get smashed etc. There was no passion for anything. Reading is helping me discover what I really want in life.
Ultimately it all leads to one thing. Being comfortable in my own skin. Which makes people more comfortable around me in turn. I cannot feel human if I drink. It ruins my physical, emotional and mental health - I become weak.
Being AF makes me stronger. Many hurdles to face yet, but I am ready for them.
So far, what I have learned about my problem:
- I drink alcohol to cover up my perceived inadequacies. I have always used it to fit in and get over my anxieties in clubs etc.
- Alcohol in turn makes me more anxious, so I drink more to get over the anxiety caused by it.
- AL loses its buzz eventually and I resort to stimulants on nights out to get to the next level. Stimulants in turn make me drink more and more as they stop you from getting drunk.
- I didn't realise it was a problem. Having 4 pints, a few mixers and shots and clubbing all night was just a bit of fun.
- Alcohol was keeping me immature. By not facing my problems, I was in teenager mode still. Please everyone and anyone. Be manipulative to keep myself safe. Stay away from threats etc.
After 50 days:
- Giving up AL has given me the energy to approach other areas of my life. Without the blanket of AL, the uncomfortable feelings in life have to be faced. I cannot use AL to escape, as it were.
- My health, both physically and mentally is improving. Again, I didn't realise how bad I felt/looked until about 4 post after giving up drink and drugs. This is because of a host of other things - AL and narcotics obviously reek havoc on your body, but my sleep pattern has improved, I eat better & do not use processed rubbish as another blanket and I am back into a good exercise routine.
- I am wanting to go out more. Lack of money has always stopped me in the past. I needed drink to be out and about - which meant needed at least ?50 in my pocket. Now I know I can go anywhere on ?20 - a travel card and a bite to eat.
- I do not have to be what I think other people want me to be. I need to be what I am comfortable and happy being. Being inconsistent with my deeper philosophies only leads to confusion, anxiety, jealousy and frustration. I am unique - I am not another person I want to be.
- I am comfortable going to a pub and telling my friends straight that I want a soft drink. No lies about being on antiobiotics or driving. If they do not like me not drinking, so be it. If they are uncomfortable being around a sober person in a pub, then deep down they have problems with AL too IMO. Drink is an escape from something. Not drinking does not make me less of a man.
- I cannot impose what I want other people to be on them. Everyone is unique and they are on their own path.
- Giving up AL allows you to explore deeper and more meaningful avenues in life. You stop being so materialistic. Success for me is giving true value to other people. I used to have my own priorities at the centre of everything. I did everything to ultimately benefit me. Now I want to help spread energy, not to absorb it from other people.
- There is more to life than AL and sitting in front of a computer all day.
- Concentrating on the problem only makes things worse.
- I still have a long way to go, but I know this is the path to be on. When you let your spirit free you can achieve what you want.
- I value money more. ?50 on a night out.....I'd find a way to get 50 if I didn't have it to get out. ?50 on something fulfilling like a meal out with friends or a day trip was a waste of money. ?50 now has so much more value and potential to it.
- Reading is the biggest gift I have been missing out on. I am learning more about everything so quickly. My life was a tunnel vision of go out get smashed, recover, get smashed, recover, survive, get smashed etc. There was no passion for anything. Reading is helping me discover what I really want in life.
Ultimately it all leads to one thing. Being comfortable in my own skin. Which makes people more comfortable around me in turn. I cannot feel human if I drink. It ruins my physical, emotional and mental health - I become weak.
Being AF makes me stronger. Many hurdles to face yet, but I am ready for them.
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