Miserable and ashamed

[MossRose]

Drinking - miserable - ashamed. Probably my last post on MWO. Too embarrassed to come back after this, but have enough respect for all of you to tell the truth. I'm not as strong as you all are. Months of sobriety down the drain. I could give you a million excuses why but I know better. There is no reason. I hate myself right now. I'm sorry.

[NoSugar]

Miserable and ashamed

Moss, unless you're leaving for another form of help, please don't. You know people here care about you and you've also seen people who really use this site succeed, even if it takes several tries. You may need to adjust your plan and use what is offered more intensively, but you can do it. Everyone can. The people here who are not drinking are not better or stronger than those who are. They have been fortunate enough to find what works for them. There is something that works for you, too, but it takes time, effort, and a sustained commitment to finding it. You only fail when you quit entirely.

Please dump what is left, take a nice bath, and go to bed early.

We'll be eager to see you tomorrow. :l NS

[lead366]

Miserable and ashamed

OMG

Maybe there was a legit reason????

Sent you a PM......... C'mon...GET BACK HERE!!

[Bastet]

Miserable and ashamed

Please don't let this be your last post! I have read many things you have written and know you are a thoughtful caring person. Because you slipped doesn't make you a failure. I know day 1 never feels good but think in terms of the number of AF days you have compared to ones you recently drank, I am sure it is way better than it was a few years ago. One of the reasons MWO is so special is because you will never be judged or put down. In my opinion it is the only place like this, I don't even feel as insulated with my own family. There is nothing you can do that will ever make anyone mad at you or yell at you. Always there is someone who will help you pick the pieces back up encourage you to find your triggers and make a plan to deal with it next time. Don't give up this wonderful site use it to your advantage and start again. I will be looking for you.

[Byrdlady]

Miserable and ashamed

Moss, Leaving an Alkie site because you are an alkie don't make sense!! (As we say in the South). Thats like not going to the car wash because your car is dirty! Looky here, if there were penalties for it taking more than once to get this, I would be totally broken. Your quit will stick, when you are sick enough of it, you will be able to let it go. THIS is your opportunity! So, as my old piano teacher used to say, lets go again, THIS time, with feeling! We believe in you! If I can help in any way, let me know!! Byrdie

[lead366]

Miserable and ashamed

Bastet;1630533 wrote: Please don't let this be your last post! I have read many things you have written and know you are a thoughtful caring person. Because you slipped doesn't make you a failure. I know day 1 never feels good but think in terms of the number of AF days you have compared to ones you recently drank, I am sure it is way better than it was a few years ago. One of the reasons MWO is so special is because you will never be judged or put down. In my opinion it is the only place like this, I don't even feel as insulated with my own family. There is nothing you can do that will ever make anyone mad at you or yell at you. Always there is someone who will help you pick the pieces back up encourage you to find your triggers and make a plan to deal with it next time. Don't give up this wonderful site use it to your advantage and start again. I will be looking for you.

Exactly Bastet:

MR--YOU are a caring person.....and YES--think about the inventory of days THAT YOU HAVE...not this silly little hiccup . You can do this!

[paulywogg]

Miserable and ashamed

Moss,please dont leave! i know exactly how you feel right now,i get defeated but one thing that has helped me is to look at some of the long-termers first posts,how they struggled,slipped and slided but finally somehow got it together,gives me hope that it can and will be done,dont be so hard on yourself,just dont leave

[MossRose]

Miserable and ashamed

Thank you for your posts. I feel really bad now, because I feel like my post was a plea for validation. That's really not what I was thinking. I just wanted to tell the truth. I can't stop crying right now. Your kindness is so appreciated. And I love MWO -- you are all my family. I just feel like like I let you all down, including myself. Don't know how I'm going to look in the mirror in the morning.

[NoSugar]

Miserable and ashamed

You don't want validation because you don't want to do this. So, pour it out, have a bath and a bit of good food, and go to bed early, ok? Tomorrow will be tough but it can be the last time you ever feel this way.

I saw a good quote:

Let rock bottom be the firm foundation of your new life.

xx - NS

[MossRose]

Miserable and ashamed

Sounds like a very good idea, NS. That's what I'm going to do. But, how do I face tomorrow? OMG. I really screwed up.

[Byrdlady]

Miserable and ashamed

MR, I believe something so strongly I put it in my signature line....all you gotta do is get thru this day. We will take on tomorrow when it comes. That mirror gets much more forgiving over time. B

[NoSugar]

Miserable and ashamed

You can come here and post what you want about what happened and then post a revised plan for really doing it this time. This is a pattern and it needs to be broken.

Put your ideas out here and you'll get feedback to help you strengthen your plan and to encourage you.

All of us with any good amount of time AF want it for everyone here and are willing to go to great lengths to help you. I hope you let us.

[lead366]

Miserable and ashamed

Hey MR...Dont worry about tomorrow.....just relax for now.

You asked how your gonna face it?...Well.....all your going to be is uncomfortable..thats all.....just an uncomfy feeling. A few days from now you will look back and write us all some valuable wisdom...CANT WAIT. We need you here!

[gracieb]

Miserable and ashamed

Moss Rose, don't give up! Your time of sobriety is not down the drain. That time is yours and nobody can take it from you! You feel really bad right now, but it will get better. Do some tender loving care for yourself and do come back!

[j-vo]

Miserable and ashamed

MossRose,
You'll face tomorrow - you'll regroup, rewrite a simple plan, and start your engine...the little engine that could. We've got your back. You're so valued here!