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I need to get honest.

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    #1

    I need to get honest.

    Stuff I've done while under the influence (to varying degrees, from very inebriated to somewhat).
    -I've driven my car...thank God for cruise control.
    -I've babysat for my grandsons.
    -I've cooked for & hosted dinners.
    -I've attended church.
    -I've attended evening meetings.
    -I've participated in my dog's training class.
    -I've talked on the phone.
    -I've gone to Alanon meetings.
    I'm sure I've left some out. Sometimes I think back on some of the great events I've missed because I've blacked-out or gotten sick (weddings, parties, etc.), & I really get mad at myself. I'm not sure why I've made this list. It just seems necessary to see what denial can make me do...("Oh, I'm not so bad." etc. etc.). Anyhow, thanks for listening. Does any of this ring true for anyone else?
    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
    October 3, 2012
    Tags: None
    #2
    I need to get honest.

    I could identify with your list -- scary some of the stuff we could do and not do while active in our addiction. I guess what I hated the most was being so emotionally disconnected from everyone. Like I live in my own world when I'm drinking and then another hungover. I wait for clarity and being fully present in what I'm doing and who I'm with.
    Padme

    AF 21, March 2010

    "First say to yourself what 
you would be; and then do 
what you have to do."
-Epictetus

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      #3
      I need to get honest.

      Oh, the list of regretable acts... In the early years of my drinking, in my 20's, the list was long and terrifying. I drove drunk often, even if I had to cover one eye to prevent double vision. Going home with strangers from bars. Going to work in the morning still drunk from partying til 3am the night before. Now I'm 41, and I guess I have grown-up quite a bit, especially after becoming a mom. The list isn't so scary now, more subtle but just as regretable. I have a great job but performance suffers. I don't spend enough quality time with my daughter. I get into financial messes because too much money goes to booze. My health is in danger.
      Hugs,
      imatree

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        #4
        I need to get honest.

        Reteacher,
        I have done so many things in my past while "under the influence". I think one of my lowest points has to be:
        Going to my daughter's DARE graduation drunk.
        Abby

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          #5
          I need to get honest.

          I can relate too...

          Ret, I remember your first day posting ... and I'll continue with the nickname that Popeye gave to you ... me? I have driven on too many occasions -- have high powered job that I still have thankfully because I am a classic "BSer" -- somehow I always manage to produce. The movie 28 Days has a scence whwere Sandra Bullock does not want to recount her acts of stupidity ... me? I can barely remember them -- LaLiz

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            #6
            I need to get honest.

            All of the above - what everyone has said - and many more. Some of the things I can't even remember myself but people have told me about them later. My face literally turns red with embarassment when I think of some of the awful and stupid things I've done. Makes you really want to stay stober when you think about what stupid (and often dangerous) things booze has made you do.
            Thanks for the post, Retteacher. It helps me to remember why I'm doing this.
            :egad:
            Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

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              #7
              I need to get honest.

              Sometimes it is good for the soul to say what is on your heart.

              thanks
              What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
              ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

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                #8
                I need to get honest.

                My advice is to stay out of hottubs when drunk.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I need to get honest.

                  Thank you everyone for your comments. Padme: I too hate being disconnected. I don't deal w/life when I'm drinking. I'm in a holding pattern. As I get older, I realize that life is too precious to waste like that.
                  Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                  October 3, 2012

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                    #10
                    I need to get honest.

                    Reteacher, I needed this thread today. I am SO quick to deny or sometimes worse to minimize what I have done:
                    Driven not visibly drunk but certainly impaired - worse yet with mine or others children!!!
                    Attended back to school night to meet teachers
                    Run the snack bar at a softball game . . . . .
                    This will have me thinking all day. Reality check. I NEED TO GET HONEST WITH MYSELF!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I need to get honest.

                      retteacher,

                      today is a new day, and think of all the new and exciting things you will remember from your new life.

                      We all have those missing memories, like how I drove home, how I ended up in the strange bed, how my bar tab got soooo big, and where my life went astray.

                      I dont know any of you guys very well, but thanks for the chance to make new friends

                      X

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                        #12
                        I need to get honest.

                        The one I think is so strange nobody stopped me. My husband and I had washed the car and put the floor mats on top of the car to dry. I drove to the store, got beer (being drunk) drove about ten miles around town to see old places I lived and SOMEHOW nobody honked and I didn't notice the floor mats

                        I've done many, many thinks drunk. Maybe focussing on them is helpful to many, I prefer to think of the many thinks I can enjoy better sober

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                          #13
                          I need to get honest.

                          Hart -- that is nuts

                          How did you get around town like that? I have said it before -- not sure who said the quote -- God takes care of babies and drunks.

                          Lucky -- I have more than one hottub story! Capricorn I'm with every step of the way! "Oh my -- how did my Visa get that high?"

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I need to get honest.

                            Lucky,
                            Do you mean hot tubs by yourself at parties? Or just in general.
                            Abby

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                              #15
                              I need to get honest.

                              Don't ask abby.

                              Comment

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