On The Right Track?

[briseus]

Not sure if this is appropriate to post in the "Just Starting Out" section, but maybe newbies might have the same questions...
Anyways, I am on Day 16. And I am doing pretty good, there are some days where I don't really mind that I'm not drinking. Of course not a day goes by right now where I don't think of it in some way...but I am feeling okay, optimistic. Just...okay...but, I don't want to get ahead of myself. Am I getting ahead of myself? Am I riding on some pink cloud right now? Or is it because this time I am ready...for some reason that voice is still telling me that someone in the future I will have some drinks and blablabla but than I check myself and say, just focus on today. One day at a time, and today I'm not drinking.
I don't want to self-sabotage.

I am keeping busy. I try and stick as close as I can to these boards. I am studying for school, working full time. Taking care of myself, my partner, my doggies. I'm reading as much as possible on alcohol, cravings, alcoholism, nutrition to help with the cravings and getting my body back on track.

I just wanted to make sure how other people felt at 16 days...and if I am on the right track.

[lead366]

On The Right Track?

My two cents only Bri:

No--you are not on a pink cloud....Yes--you are getting ahead of yourself. I have had 6 day 16's in the last year and only feel just ok at this point.....but thats ok. Now Im at day 24 and feeling about 20-30% better than day 16. I have been doing about two or three little things each day to enhance recover---like exercise, diet supplements, reading, posting etc.

Thinking about drinking is something you can do in a month or two---for now its a waste of your valuable recovery time. Like me, we are both in critical early stage recovery...where our thoughts must be focused on only today. I think you will feel soooo much better in about a week.....with some down moods in between...dont worry.

Pink clouds?...are in our future...perhaps at day 40-60 or 80-90....maybe some veterans can pipe in here and advise us on what to expect in that dept.

Yup---For me?...day 16 was exactly like yours---Just pretty good....and day 24 for me?...Is about 20-30% better than pretty good....So Bri?..look forward to day 24...dont look further. Im not even looking at day 30---Im concentrating on making day 24 productive toward my eventual full recovery.

Keep reading and posting lots....all the advice we get works.....its just a matter of time......and time?...is an allies worst friend. lol

[lead366]

On The Right Track?

More two cents------Call it three cents lol.....

Just around at my two week period I ran across a great piece of advice that helped me a lot. I was told that I cant fix my problem ( alcohol) with the same thinking and mindset that got me into the problem in the first place.

Byrdie here constantly reminds us of a mind shift -----to shift our thinking to concentrate more on the rewards and the wonderful world we can have by not drinking...Im starting to feel that now.....and the gratitude aspect is starting to shine....the deprivation aspect is fading.

Im getting very grateful these days

[red67]

On The Right Track?

You two are doing great! I can say personally I never experienced a pink cloud. When I was done I just somehow knew this quit was it. I still was shaky in the first months. Had no idea how to look at the future without alcohol in it, but I just took it one day at a time. Once I kept hitting my milestones I felt more comfortable in the daily living.

My best advice is just keep going. Stay on course and the uncertainty will start to go away after time. Have a plan in place for when the bumps in the road come (I experienced a really horrible time just under 1 year into my sobriety but I just knew drinking was not even an option). Always reinforce why you don't drink in your mind. No drinking no matter what, I say it to myself all the time.

You are going to make it, just keep it simple and don't overthink.

[briseus]

On The Right Track?

I am taking it one day at a time. I just meant that that annoying addictive voice tries to come and tries to convince me that I don't have a problem or that I will be able to drink eventually. But I try to ignore it and think of only today. Right now. And right now and today I don't drink.
I have just heard people say something about riding that pink cloud. Where things are going quite well and then one day wake up and realize that you really can't drink anymore. I haven't really felt that loss or grief. I guess I used to. I hope I am making sense.
I definitely do believe in a mind shift. And this time I really do think it's shifting from the way I used to think. When I quit (so many times in the past) I mourned not being able to drink. I was so angry and depressed and even though there are days where I think I miss it now I really think that being sober is better. I have great sleeps, wake up refreshed and ready to tackle the day and I get so much more accomplished.
Why would I want to go back to being perpetually drunk? But I know I can't get ahead of myself either. And need to always focus on today. And that I don't drink...today and I can worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
And I agree that practicing gratitude as well as mindfulness is important.
And I have to relearn how to deal with all my emotions as well. As I always drank to numb them.
Thank you Lead and Red for your advice.
I will definitely not try to overthink things (which I am famous for) and keep it simple.

Bri*

[available]

On The Right Track?

Bris as you say "today i will not drink", repeat mantra every day as many times as necessary. You have the right attitude which is a great step and the days are rolling on. That al voice fades but never goes away completely, well not yet for me, but i am strong enough at this stage to say no.

Oh i always thought i could drink again and after 40 days last quit i felt pretty damn strong, strong enough to moderate and end right back to drinking as much if not more. I have not read of anyone moderating successfully but hey you never know. for now try not to think too much about the future. Finally it was like, for me, a switch turning on in my brain that i realised, hey i can never drink again and you know what "thats ok" and it is okay. Its not easy but its okay.

Who wants to honestly go back to the anxiety, depression, blackouts, shakes, dehydration, sweats, paranoia etc. There is no one good thing about al is there? Maybe when we could be normal drinkers it was nice to go out and be sociable but when it became a huge problem with isolation, hiding, lying and pretending to be something we were not then we hit trouble.

Take each day as it comes and be grateful for being sober. Its hard dealing with real life stuff without al to prop us up but i kind of like it now, this is how normal feels but i take out the option of having a sociable drink when i like. It has to be taken out of the equation completely for me and once i accepted that then the fight with al has gone.

You are right on track so dont despair or worry too much. Life was never meant to be easy but god it is great without al in it.

[Nelz]

On The Right Track?

If you have made it 16 days, then whatever you are doing is working.

I wouldnt get too caught up in the highs/lows of this roller coaster ride. Try and maintain and focus on the middle of the road"s" mmmmmmkayyyyyyyy


Must have missed day 7 somehow...here ya go!
Attached files [img]/converted_files/2283409=7268-attachment.jpg[/img]

[briseus]

On The Right Track?

Available, you are right. I don't want the blackouts, the headaches, anxiety, depression, nervousness and everything that goes along with alcohol. I do truly prefer to be sober, but there are just some days that are more difficult than others.
And I did try once before, over a year ago…maybe a year and a half…where I got to over 30 days…and than went back to drinking…and it was as worse as ever…if not more.
I don't want that life…so yes, today, I will not drink. Tomorrow will bring, whatever it brings. But I do know in my heart that it won't bring a binge…because I just don't want it.
You're right too…I shouldn't worry too much, worry is my middle name…I need to deal with that too.

Thanks Nelz - and thanks for the star.
You're right…I am on the right track…I need to not overthink it and focus on the middle of the roads.

Thanks everyone.

Bri.

[lead366]

On The Right Track?

Good job Bri:

Yup--there will be highs and lows...I had both today.......from nowhere MR. Wine visited me and tried to wooo me into a few glasses...I almost caved but staved it off. Filled up with a great dinner and dessert.

PHEWWWW......a close one

I get to wake up stone sober

[briseus]

On The Right Track?

Great job Lead!
I went out for dinner for a special occasion, everyone was drinking there. It didn't affect me until I was on my way home. And because angry. It did help that my SO and I were arguing but I felt like "why are they drinking and I can't?" Mind you, they don't know I have a problem. But they kept asking me what I was drinking. It was iced tea and water but it because frustrating.
Anyway, I persevered. I went home, had a bath and went to bed.
Onto day 18.

And waking up stone sober is great.