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    #1

    Back with it. 5 days.

    Hi everyone,
    I haven't been on in awhile, because, well, I was drinking.
    Has my worst drunk in my life and my 6 year old son saw me. It scared him and he is still talking about it 5 days later.
    I don't even know what to say to him, I just let him talk and reassure him that I won't be doing that again. I hope he forgets. I hope he doesn't fret over it for long. I hope he doesn't talk about it at school.
    I hope I can heal his heart and my family by being sober.
    I want it over for good, with no relapses, no moderating, no what ifs, no bullshit.
    Well, that's it for now.
    See ya tomorrow on day 6!
    Day 1 again 11/5/19
    Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
    Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
    Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
    11/27/19: messed up but back on track
    12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

    One day at a time.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Back with it. 5 days.

    Hi Nursie - almost a week, well done!
    Well done for also coming back - you will find some who have managed success, and some like me who continues to struggle. Familiar faces all over and lots of great new folks to join in with.
    See you on your day 6:l:l
    “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

    Comment

      #3
      Back with it. 5 days.

      Hi Nursie. It's nice to see you back. Your son will forgive you. I promise. My sons lived through years of my drinking. They're adults now, but we are finally repairing our relationship, and in some ways are closer than ever. They just had to learn to believe in me again...to trust that I meant it when I said I wouldn't drink anymore. Your son is young. You have time. My advice is always the same - it's easier to avoid the problem than have to repair the damage later. So you are on the right track already.

      Children are very forgiving. All they want is for us to be healthy and happy. It makes them feel safe. And I know from your past posts that you want that for yourself too. So hang tight with us, and make this your last quit. We'll be right by your side - every step of the way! xx
      Everything is going to be amazing

      Comment

        #4
        Back with it. 5 days.

        Hi, Nursie:

        I was lurking off and on last year, and you were one of the people I really appreciated following, and I have been thinking about you since you haven't been posting.

        I am glad you're back - day 5 is an awesome start. Your son will forgive you and/or forget. Take care of yourself so you can take care of him!

        Pavati

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          #5
          Back with it. 5 days.

          Welcome back Nursie! I'm 6 days today and I look forward to keeping up with you as you work on your success.

          Comment

            #6
            Back with it. 5 days.

            I cant wait to congratulate both you LS and Nursie when you hit the 30 days...which?.....is pretty darn soon. Stay the course...your gonna feel alot better in a few days)

            Comment

              #7
              Back with it. 5 days.

              HI Nursie, good to see you around
              AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

              Comment

                #8
                Back with it. 5 days.

                :l sorry you had to go through that.
                No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Back with it. 5 days.

                  Hi Nursie and welcome back. Children are very resilient creatures but if you keep drinking he will remember. I remember my step father being constantly drunk and abusive some 40+ years later and you dont want that for your son. The very big positive is that you are taking the steps to be sober and happy for him as you love him and yourself. Keep posting on here, everyone is here for you and dont leave mwo, i know it keeps me accountable daily to be af.

                  My children are still telling stories of me being drunk but they are adults now and god it is so embarrassing still but the past is the past and to be kept there, shame they dont think that but i love them dearly.
                  AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Back with it. 5 days.

                    Thanks everyone for the kind words!
                    Waking up to a beautiful day 6.
                    My son asked me last night "mommy you're not gonna drink wine tonight right?" And I said no and held him tight. I don't know what to say to him to calm his little mind. I just keep reassuring him.
                    Pavati, thank you for saying that, and lurk no more!

                    I wish you all a beautiful Friday! See you tonight when I check in sober!
                    Day 1 again 11/5/19
                    Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
                    Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
                    Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
                    11/27/19: messed up but back on track
                    12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

                    One day at a time.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Back with it. 5 days.

                      Thats the sort of thing that makes it all work - the ability to tell him you won't drink again - maybe let him help a little? I have green dots on my calendar - my youngest (is older than your little man mind) counts my dots - maybe he can give you a sticker each day??? Then he may have some feeling of control?
                      Happy day 6!
                      “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Back with it. 5 days.

                        Hi Nusie,shoot i've wondered about you this whole time,good job on 6 days! i also like the sticker idea my little grandson picks one out and we put it on the calendar together
                        I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                        I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                        Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Back with it. 5 days.

                          Hi Nursie!!! You know I love you! :l
                          I think about you a lot, and I've wondered how you are. I don't know if you've had a chance to read around the boards much, but let me tell you, I had a relapse on Monday night. After 2+ years, it hit me HARD. I came here Tuesday and told everyone. If anything, I hope it helps others who are even thinking about drinking. It's SOOOO not worth it. My daughter saw me. And after everything we've been through too...

                          But the good thing is that kids are very forgiving. Your son WILL get over this. His mind will move on to other things. And I agree, let him be part of your recovery, but only to the extent that you are comfortable. I tried very hard never to make my daughter "responsible" for me...like never say "Make sure I don't drink tonight!!" That's just not fair to put that pressure on a kid, because then if you do drink, they feel like they are at fault. Anyway, I'm sure you won't do that (I only bring it up because I DID do it a few times and feel horrible about it!)

                          Please stick around. And don't go to the Olive Garden anytime soon...they are still pushing wine like crack dealers! LOL

                          Love you!!!
                          K9
                          :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                          Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Back with it. 5 days.

                            Welcome back Nursie. Yes, very good advice from K9. Its important not to put too much responsibility on wee shoulders - they are still children and as you know this makes them very anxious. They need security, trust - as well as love.
                            Congratulations on almost a week of sobriety. Keep posting!

                            K9 - very sorry to read you relapsed. We have teen girls about the same age - so I can only imagine. Trust is a biggie at that age. Take care and stay strong.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Back with it. 5 days.

                              HI Nursie,
                              I can relate to your situation and it hurts badly, I know. It happened with me and son more times than I want to admit, and now he's 16 and doesn't have to see that anymore.

                              Stay here, post, read, and make yourself a plan. Great to have you back! Like Available said, they are resilient, and I'll add forgiving. He is so young, and has so much tie to be with his sober mom.
                              Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                              Comment

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