I need a replacement relaxer!

[winterwalk]

Hi everyone, I've gone 71 days without a wine o clock and have really enjoyed it, but these last couple of days I've very nearly caved in! you know that feeling between 5pm-8pm when you're feeling stressed and start to remember that feeling you get when you have a glass of wine, when you feel your shoulders relax, and it all seems to feel better, well I can't seem to chill and I'm really craving that feeling! I haven't opened the wine even though there was a bottle in (my partner has a drink at the weekends) and wondered what everyone else did to relax, chill out? any suggestions anyone?
I'm pleased that I didn't open the wine, and the memories of feeling crap the next day and waking up in the night not able to get back to sleep stopped me.
I know I need to have something else in place, the further I go on I know I'll start and forget the negatives of drinking!

[lead366]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Hey---wait a minute!!!!!!!,,,Its not only the day after...its the trend you will set in your subconscious mind that will probably start the whole spiral again. Is it worth it?....what do some of the old timers tell us?...ITS NOT.

I have the same problem come happy hour...the key for me is to first ATTACK 5:00 pm...perhaps go for a walk?...hottub, swim?...something to take your mind away...and then dive into a big dinner--fill yourself up so you want no AL.
If you have really enjoyed your 71 days...Look at your investment...Its pretty comendable. Look how you will feel at 100...200...300????

Another idea is to just come to MWO at 5pm and read the stories...I know its a bit of a drag but once I start reading?.....I hate booze even more...try it.

[treetops]

I need a replacement relaxer!

If you don't have kids to deal with try a bath or a swim. If it's the bath have a big glass of an AF drink, with music or radio, read a book/trash. Then get into relaxing clothes. Or if it's possible your pyjamas!

[gracieb]

I need a replacement relaxer!

bath
I like hypnosis videos, free on Youtube.
chamomile tea
walk
snack
yoga
meditation
Or if your shoulders are tense, why not treat yourself to a massage? I know I could easily afford a massage per month just by using what I used to spend on al.

I've heard valerian and skull cap tea are helpful, but I haven't tried them yet.

A favorite book.

These help me, hope they help you as well.

[winterwalk]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Thanks everyone, your right it'd just be a spiral down and I do know that, that's why I didn't and I looked on here which really does bring me back to reality. I do love swimming but at that time its too much of an hassle to drive to the pool, I think either the bath or even better a massage (I'll ask my partner to do it). The HALT thing helps, I was hungry, and tired, instead of opening the wine I looked on this site and made food. I think a brisk walk with the dogs would help too.
Thank you, I don't usually post, I usually just read other peoples posts, it grounds you putting something on and you've been very supportive xx

[Marylou123]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Hi Winter,
You have nearly double the AF time I have so you may have already thought of these. In addition to reading, which is so much more a pleasure for me now, I am learning to knit. Not a ton of use for it where I live, but I am in the process of making a very large potholder. :H:H I didn't mean for it to be so large, but I'm learning.

If I don't feel like walking outside, I'll do 15 min or more of step in front of the tv. I fashioned a step out of some old Wii equipment we had. I find this extremely helpful when I'm anything other than hungry or tired. It only takes 10-15 minutes to get the endorphins going.

Strawberries are in season here so yesterday I made my first (and possibly last :H) batch of homemade jam. Fun to do but each jar, five total, is a different consistency - learning curve here too.

Have a great day!

[spiderwoman]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Long baths, nice candles and essences and plenty of AF drinks I actually like (not necessarily what will do me good) works for me; then there's the phoning a supportive friend or spending time with my dog, all work a treat. Hope you find what's best for you and well done on 71 days

[MossRose]

I need a replacement relaxer!

I knit, read, plan my garden (if spring ever gets here), make candles, light candles, call my friends, make a bucket list, plan a wonderful meal, cook that wonderful meal, take a hot bath, take a walk, watch a movie, write a poem (yikes), make a to-do list, do yoga, clean out my junk drawer, get my hair cut, go to the dentist, and most of all be grateful... Anything - just anything other than drinking. I know how hard it is - so please just hang in there.

[briseus]

I need a replacement relaxer!

First of all, congratulations on day 71! I will get there soon?only on day 25 here.
Secondly, I may be repeating what others have said here, but this is what has worked for me the past 25 days.
Baths! Lots of em! Whenever I crave or feel down I fill that tub up, pour in a load of bubbles and relax.
Lounge music - calms me down.
Journaling.
Reading!
Blogging.
Making (healthy) mocktails.
Nibbling on sweets (trying to avoid sugar, but sometimes I can't help it, especially since I quit).
Being near animals - particularly my two pups.
Trying cool new drinks from my Keurig! I think it's the best purchase! And whenever 5pm hits I just conjure up a cool, interesting hot drink.
I would love to try knitting and that's something I plan on learning soon.
Oh..and Pinterest!!! When I'm stressed or craving I just hop on Pinterest and get addicted to that instead!

Hang in there Winterwalk, you're doing so well.

[winterwalk]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Thanks everyone! I've got loads of ideas now, I've got up this morning and am soooo glad I didn't give in on Friday, its a lovely day today and I would have been cursing myself as I love getting in the garden, I used to hate waking up feeling ill, tired and guilty.
I think the exercise tips will be helpful when I feel like that again, I really needed to change my mood and in the past exercise has helped as it releases endorphins (I think that what they are?).
I also think it was my brain craving the alcohol? and it caught me when I was tired and feeling low, People on here have posted about cravings, how they can sneak up on you a long time after you've stopped using alcohol. This site is fab, everyone is so helpful and supportive, I would have poured that drink and convinced myself it was relaxing me and doing me good!! its coming on here that brings me back to reality. I think I'll try one of the hobbies too you have all suggested and the long baths are something I do already and I agree they do help.
Thank you everyone and well done to you all as well, its bloody hard keeping that crappy drug at bay but its well worth it xxx

[Hypernova]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Hey Winterwalk, I also quit the same day as you, I believe it was Dec 28th. Then after 30 days AF went on vacation with my GF and just threw up my hands and said screw it. Stupid, just plain stupid. Now I am sitting at Day 27 and doing fine. You are doing the right thing. I agree that we forget the negative effects of Al over time and need to be reminded over & over until we 'get it' ~ lest the seduction of AL wins. Like you said this fabulous site is the place to be. I'm not really comfortable sometimes posting. But whatever works is worth doing. Spring is here and the bicycle (the best stress reliever I know of) is ready to go. Congratulations &:goodjob: on your 70+ days ~ you are the only one of the 4 of us that stayed the course. Thanks for posting and I look forward to hearing of your continued journey.

[Pavati]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Hi, Winterwalk:

71 (now more) days is amazing. Here is a post on the Pink Cloud effect that might have some relevance to you now:

The “pink cloud” is best described as a period of time where the addict or alcoholic experiences a reprieve from the struggles associated with early recovery. These struggles are generally associated with the feelings of depression, anger, resentment, self pity and the realization of where their drug addiction or alcoholism has taken them.

Upon experiencing this phenomenon for the first time, the addict or alcoholic is understandably excited. They begin to believe they now “hold the key” to their recovery. This is where the seed for relapse is planted. They begin to believe more in themselves than in the process they have been following. Without the pain as a daily reminder, they tend to forget about what it took for them to embrace recovery. Denial rears its ugly head and they minimize how devastating their drug addiction and alcoholism really was and that they have a disease of drug addiction and alcoholism that requires attention on a daily basis. Relapse prevention becomes an afterthought as the person becomes defiant and rebellious regarding suggestions contrary to their desires. Without resorting to drugs or alcohol, the individual in recovery is one step away from relapse. Remember, relapse is not an event, it is a process.

I also find this website (Higher Mind Health) to be a great resource for relaxation and anxiety relief. Stay strong - you're doing great!

[SKendall]

I need a replacement relaxer!

Hi, your thread invited me! Whenever I used to relapse it was always HALT, particularly hunger. Self-care is a priority.

[Darkest Diamond]

I need a replacement relaxer!

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