The Doctor Appointment

[imatree]

Or should I say... the doctor "dis"appointment.

I told her everything, about my drinking current and history, about the MWO program, how committed (desperate) I am to quit. She was kind and supportive.

However - no way on the topa, she wants me to go into inpatient rehab, and says if my boyfriend doesn't quit drinking I should ditch him. (He lives with my and we're soul mates.)

I cried through the whole thing, and came home and sobbed. Has kinda f##ked me up. I'm a wreck.

I'll write more tomorrow about what she said when I might be able to see some benefit in the experience.
Thanks for all your support on the other thread.

[blondie]

The Doctor Appointment

imatree
I am so sorry you had this experience especially after going there so committed and forearmed with information! But I do love how you say you are going to see you'll wait to see what benefit you can get from it!! What a positively strong attitude! Well done!
I must confess, on first reading your post, I thought "ditch the doctor" if she's more interested in bulldozing over your ideas and telling you what you should do! I am swithering again about going to a doctor; I though I found a great one who specialised in addictions but she said the only thing was to try AA and see how it goes and also change my diet! So this MWO site has been of more help than all the professionals I have thus far seen!
Look forward to hearing from you again to hear what your perspective is.
Best wishes
blondie

[jane rees]

The Doctor Appointment

Well I reckon that sucks! how can it be better to go into rehab away from family and work, completely inmterupting your normal life, when there is a less drastic method to try first! Roberta Jewell has more to offer than the so called proffessionals!!
Find someone else to talk to, honey.
Jane

[Paddy]

The Doctor Appointment

Dear Tree

Don't let yourself be brought down by this. Sometimes you gotta shop for a doctor. We've been through this topic on the board, and a couple of people can give advice on that. Why not try a foreign doctor? Don't go for your typical anglo-know-it-all bastard doctor. Believe me. Foreign doctors are often more open to experiments than the anglo-crop, sorry to sound so biased, but ...

[Bella]

The Doctor Appointment

Imatree I am so sorry for you, especially as you had it all worked out what you were going to say. I find my doctor rather harsh sometimes. We are vulnerable and they just don't really understand. I hope you can take some advice from her and bin the other advice. How ridiculous telling you to dump your boyfriend! Post again. Bella xxx

[goingsobermum]

The Doctor Appointment

Dear Tree,
What a bummer, you were so well prepared and so confident and enthusiastic. She must have really upset you. Don't give up, carry on a follow the program you wanted to follow if you think it will work for you. I guess another doc or online is the way to go for topa. Could you go for the inpatient thing, it might be excellent?
Cheer up, you're on the right track.

[nancy]

The Doctor Appointment

second opinion

Hi Ima

Don't get down about this. First, what were the reasons that the doctor does not want to prescribe this medication? I forget is this a psychiatrist or general doctor?

Were there any good reasons (liver function fears or conflicts with other medications)? Research the doctor has read about?

If there are not good reasons, and this decision was made without a basis, get another opinion. See a psychiatrist about it if this is a general doctor.

Read some of the posts about doctors. One person said that her doctor had experience with topa and said it was good for mood problems. Another said that they could get it if they signed a waiver form.

Remember, this is a relatively new treatment. If you search on Pub Med you see it is showing promise but it will take a long time to trickle into the mainstream. If I were a doctor I might be scared of prescribing it. It's the cautious approach. If I wanted topa I would see a psychiatrist who was very knowledgeable who was up to date on the new experimental treatments.

Do we have any doctors on MWO to comment on this?

Keep positive!

[retteacher]

The Doctor Appointment

Ima: I'm not sure how many AF's you have, but if you are making progress w/MWO then keep trying. I'm doing much, much better w/my drinking wo/any supplements or Topa etc. As for the boyfriend: if he's a problem drinker, there are ways of dealing wo/having to leave him. My son had a drinking/pot problem in the past, & my husband & I joined Alanon. It has helped so much.

[pixie]

The Doctor Appointment

Ima, I'm sorry the appointment was not what you had hoped. Find another doctor if you need to, don't let this experience dampen your will to get better. Take care, and keep us posted.

pixie

[redrobin]

The Doctor Appointment

Ima,

We've not "spoken" before as I've has a bit of a break but I've seen and admired your stuff on this site and LOVED the approach you took to your doctor's appointment. You couldn't have done any more or done any better!!

Unless that doctor had some really good reason to take the approach she did (and I can't possibly imagine what that could be) I agree with the others who say ditch her! Inpatient rehab is clearly a ridiculous overkill and how dare she tell you to drop your boyfriend!! Find another doctor. Remember you are the consumer here. Shop around . Bloody doctors! I'm starting to sound like Paddy.

Stay tough,

Robin
x

PS
(If all else fails there is always topa online - I take it, it's fine , shhh)

[imatree]

The Doctor Appointment

:hug:

Thanks for your comments and support. I've done a lot of soul searching today.

Doc said I should go to rehab. You know how you can feel somewhat vulnerable in the presence of a 'professional' - so she said that and the message I got was 'You are way too messed up to succeed on your own, you're hopeless without being 'jailed' in an inpatient program. You have no control.'

Doc said I should dump my partner if he doesn't support my abstinence by being abstinent himself. She said it would be 'impossible' to get sober while in the presence of someone drinking. (Sure glad I didn't tell her we are living together.) So that freaked me because I thought... What if she is right? What if I can't get sober while with him? Do I have to choose one over the other (life partner and sobriety)???

Doc said no to my request for topa. I thought, "there goes my hope, I need this drug to succeed".

After much soul searching today I am in a better place.
Mostly it comes down to taking full responsibility for my Self and my healing/recovery.
I CAN do this myself, and do NOT need to succumb to rehab and hand over the responsibility to a bunch of strangers.
I CAN get sober even if my partner does not. Sure, it will be much much harder. But I can do it.
I CAN get the topa without my doc, or I can be more diligent on the supps and topa and CDs. (She wouldn't prescribe because she's not familiar with the treatment.)

The most important thing is... well, it's kind of like "the buck stops here". I can't blame my lack of success thus far on my partner because he brings booze home. I can't leave the responsibility to him, or my doctor, or ANYONE ELSE. Have I been passing the buck? Yes, I guess I have. I have been saying.... I would be sober if I had all the tools. I would be sober if there was no booze in the house. I would be sober if if if if if if if.....

NO MORE. THE BUCK STOPS HERE. This is all on me, and I'm going to do it.

Doc referred me to an addict specialist, after I refused AA and rehab. I think I'm going to pass. I ordered 2 more bottles of kudzu and the cds yesterday. I will pull together all I have - determination, planning, commitment - to make this happen. Why? BECAUSE I CAN. NO MORE EXCUSES.

Tomorrow I will map out my own 'rehab' program and set a date for AF.

Thanks, love you all,
Sue

[karma7171]

The Doctor Appointment

teast

Before I type this post I want to make sure mine is working...mine seem to tell me that I am not logged in when I am...then I loose it

[karma7171]

The Doctor Appointment

congrats on your soul searching

Congrats on the soul searching. You are correct no one is going to make you drink and nobody is going to keep you sober. It really does come down to you. It can be hard at first....I was always going to start tomorrow. You know the song and dance.

AA is great for connecting with people who have stood in your shoes. But it will not keep you sober. That lies within you.

I don't think that you have to ask your partner to stop drinking. But maybe not bring it home for 30 days? After 30 days decide how you feel about it.

Don't be mad at your doctor. They just do not know what else to reccomend because this seems to be such a bizarre maddness. I would agree with your doctor if the success rates were higher, but they are not. And the medical community has not had any solid foundation to work with.

I personally have never taken topa. Friends here told me of some awful side effects or they just drank themselves silly on it anyways. What is important is that you can get to a place that you are happy with, regardless of how you get there....and what it is.

I always saw it as getting somewhere. When I realized that I already had it inside of me a true change took place. It is here now...not after 30 days or a year, but here right now. Regardless of what I did last night or two minutes ago....it is still the past. Right here right now is what matters.

Booze is a hard thing to kick because it is everywhere all the time. I can't even drive home from work without being hit with billboards. And the bastards only actually advertise on the way home...they don't advertise on the side of the freeway on the way into work. They know what they are doing. But you can rise above that...especially once you can see it for what it is.

Best of luck....when opportunity and being prepared meet

[karma7171]

The Doctor Appointment

congrats on your soul searching

Congrats on the soul searching. You are correct no one is going to make you drink and nobody is going to keep you sober. It really does come down to you. It can be hard at first....I was always going to start tomorrow. You know the song and dance.

AA is great for connecting with people who have stood in your shoes. But it will not keep you sober. That lies within you.

I don't think that you have to ask your partner to stop drinking. But maybe not bring it home for 30 days? After 30 days decide how you feel about it.

Don't be mad at your doctor. They just do not know what else to reccomend because this seems to be such a bizarre maddness. I would agree with your doctor if the success rates were higher, but they are not. And the medical community has not had any solid foundation to work with.

I personally have never taken topa. Friends here told me of some awful side effects or they just drank themselves silly on it anyways. What is important is that you can get to a place that you are happy with, regardless of how you get there....and what it is.

I always saw it as getting somewhere. When I realized that I already had it inside of me a true change took place. It is here now...not after 30 days or a year, but here right now. Regardless of what I did last night or two minutes ago....it is still the past. Right here right now is what matters.

Booze is a hard thing to kick because it is everywhere all the time. I can't even drive home from work without being hit with billboards. And the bastards only actually advertise on the way home...they don't advertise on the side of the freeway on the way into work. They know what they are doing. But you can rise above that...especially once you can see it for what it is.

Best of luck....when opportunity and being prepared meet

[imatree]

The Doctor Appointment

Thank you karma. You're absolutely right - it is right here right now.