Tired...and frustrated

[Just A Gal]

Tired...and frustrated

Four days...yay! Didn't sleep well, finally went to bed by 10 but lovely hubby, who just started his vacation, decided to invite a friend over to watch the fights. I woke up to someone cheering in the living room, and once I'm awake, I have a hell of a time going back to sleep...finally did about 4, but up at 6...and I have bus duty this morning. Oh well, I'm happy I made it through day four. Have a great day everyone!

[NomoreJim]

Tired...and frustrated

JAG it takes a few days to get over the grumpiness and such but it does get better. You might find your self feeling a little foggy the next couple of days but that will pass also. You might also notice that you will have an increased carving for sweets. I almost never ate sweets but when i stopped drinking i started craving them. I had to cut back on the sweets because it started to cause me to have symptoms like a hangover. MWO was the best thing that i ever did to stop drinking. I have made it 86 days after numerous white knuckle attempts to moderate. There are alot of people here who have been and are going through the same things that you are now hang in there we are all here for you.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Tired...and frustrated

Congratulations Just a Gal and Jim! I am doing a happy dance for both of you!
You should both be proud!
:dancin:

I haven't been here for a couple of days. As part of my addictive personality, the last time I was active on this website, I constantly trolled, so I am making a concerted effort to "moderate" my participation on here, so to speak. Otherwise, I will be replacing one habit with another (albeit healthier) one.

Gal, thank you for sharing about your family. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, and I understand why you want to be with your dad, even if it's in a bar. It sounds like these spots are his "Cheers", where he feels comfortable and enjoys spending his time. I get that- I have three brothers that also have their favorite bars.

Speaking of sweets, I DO keep ice cream or frozen yogurt on hand, and while I don't go bonkers, I will have a small scoop every night- it is a somewhat healthy treat that feels like a reward to me, and curbs the sugar cravings that Jim mentioned. My nightly calorie intake is much less, so I am losing my muffin top, lol.

On the admin side: if your picture isn't loading, it is probably too large- re-size it and save it as a smaller photo, and try uploading it again.

I know that I've turned the corner because the last time I tried to go AF, my entire night was consumed with controlling the alcohol devil that was CONSTANTLY tapping me on the shoulder, whispering in my ear with little thoughts to sabotage my efforts. I always could hear why I "deserved" just one drink- I was happy, sad, excited, tired, bored, blah blah blah... I would have to intentionally PLAN to avoid alcohol- avoid certain places, activities, etc. Today, I have 9 bottles of wine in my house and no desire to uncork one. I would say before that my "OFF" button was broken- I would never know when to stop. Today, I am blessed in that for some reason, the desire button is broken. I can't explain why the change.

I heard someone say that alcohol is just a liquid- you drink it, and you pi$$ it... quite frankly, WHY do we give it the control to ruin our future? It may also be comforting to recognize that there are many cultures where drinking alcohol is unheard of... It is our choice.

Gal, If you get a feeling around day 5 or 6 that you can have "just one", truly think it through... I think it is a normal Devil on your Shoulder whisper, so when you hear it.... be ready. Have some tea ready, or some carbonated soda with cranberry juice, or some ice cream... You can do this.

:groupluv:

[Just A Gal]

Tired...and frustrated

Thank you NMJ and Happy! I've been noticing the sweet thing...happened last time I did this. Drank a hell of a lot of Gatorade! And Happy...your last paragraph got me! Exactly what I was thinking because my Spring Break starts today! LOL We're going to dinner with some friends. We'll see how it goes. I honestly don't even want any wine right now...but who knows when I'm there. I'll try resizing my pic, too. You all have a good night!

[lead366]

Tired...and frustrated

See Just?...IT WORKS!..you ARE feeling better...and now you are through the very worst....it does get alot better and I think you are building a head of steam. Keep posting and come to roll call ok?

Happy for you

[glorialagos]

Tired...and frustrated

Hi Just A Gal - I am new here too and a teacher so thought I might tag along with you? I have tried to stop drinking for a couple decades. I only drink in secret so no one knows (not even my husband). I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired and it is time for a change. So, here I am. This site is new to me although I have tried others in the past.

Something needs to be different this time. I just have to be successful but not sure what I need to do to make sure this time is not like the last 1000 times?

[NoSugar]

Tired...and frustrated

Hi, Gloria

I was/am in your situation. My drinking was secret and so my recovery has been, too. How to tell the people around you that you no longer have a terrible, shameful problem that they never knew you had? Or at least the extent of it? Part of me wants to pretend it didn't happen but I don't think I can get past some of my guilt and regrets until I explain this to my husband. I hated being sneaky and want to be open and honest about all aspects of my life to the people who are important to me. Also, I plan to visit some of my MWO pals and I'm pretty sure he'll want to know where I'm going :H!

Anyway, I understand your conflicted feelings about this. I think it would be easier to have your family "on your team" but it is possible to do it on your own.

All the best, NS

[Just A Gal]

Tired...and frustrated

Hi Gloria and Welcome! You are more than welcome to tag along with me. I too am sick and tired of this crap, so I'm doing something about it. I read many posts, and every now and then I'll comment back. Everyone here is very understanding and easy to chat with, and that has been the most encouraging resource for me right now. I also received my hypno cds yesterday and will talk with my naturopath next week about supplements, and my goal is moderation. That may change, but that's what it is for now. I think the supplements and cds will be enough for me to achieve my goal, changing your mindset does amazing things.
I did end up drinking Friday night when I went to dinner with friends after being AF for 5 days. 1 glass of wine turned into 4...and then as soon as I got home I went straight to bed. Didn't feel good yesterday, but didn't feel guilty. I'm a work in progress and have given myself permission to screw up. I'm a perfectionist by nature (I think a lot of teachers are) but there's no way to be 'perfect' in this endeavor. I'll just keep on keeping on.

I've never drank in secret, but very few people besides my husband know how negatively alcohol has affected me. While I don't feel I have his total support, because he's a drinker and has no desire to cut down or stop, he's not against what I'm doing. My dad just doesn't understand how badly al makes me feel and he's also 77 with a mindset of his own. I rarely have seen him drunk, though he doesn't have several drinks each evening. I've found that the few friends I've told about this are the most supportive, though I only see them when at work. I'm doing this for myself, and while it would be helpful to have my husband on board, I'm not going to let that derail me. Last night he was a little upset that it was Saturday night...and he couldn't believe we were staying home. I had no desire to go out, and told him so. I've always done, for the most part, what he's wanted to do in order to avoid conflict, but I think I'm at a point in my life and my marriage where I need to do what I need to do for me.
I do feel as if I'm getting a handle on things, a very shaky handle, mind you...but I'm very aware of my goal.
I also keep in mind what happens when I do drink too much, now working on keeping that in mind when I do have a drink. We are leaving for Vegas tomorrow, and we have several things planned that will keep us busy, so I'm thankful for that. I've always done better when there are lots of things going on, lots of people to watch (my favorite pasttime).
Keep coming back here, Gloria. I believe in you.
NS~I hope you're able to tell your husband soon. He probably knows more than you think he does, but even if he doesn't, hopefully he'll become one of your best supporters! Good luck! I'll be thinking of you!

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Tired...and frustrated

Just a Gal... how are you doing? :hug:

Patty

[TravisNen]

Tired...and frustrated

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