I so need to change!!!

[formenow2]

I have been on this site in the past and have struggled with trying to figure out if I could moderate my drinking but truthfully I need to not be drinking. Over the past several years my drinking has gotten worse and I am now getting physical symptoms like anxiety, night sweats,etc. Of course the self loathing. I have been the one to drive two friends around who have lost their license to DUI and now my own beautiful son is in rehab for alcohol abuse. He is doing the work right now and at 23 I hope he can pull it together but here I am here still drinking. I hate it but here I sit at night drinking my wine. I need this site. I need you all

[Lavande]

I so need to change!!!

Hello & welcome back formenow2!

Moderation just isn't in the cards for the majority of us, no matter how hard & how long we try!

I got started here by making myself a good plan & making a firm commitment to change, you can do it too
Go to the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for lots of great ideas to help you put a plan together.
Drop in the Newbies Nest thread for ongoing support. That's what I did & it worked

Wishing you the best!

Lav

[NoSugar]

I so need to change!!!

Glad you came back!

The Newbies Nest would be a good place to hang out for awhile and the Toolbox is full of good ideas. Both links are given below.

As soon as you're truly committed, you can do it - take away the option of having a drink, no matter what, and you'll be amazed at how things seem to almost fall into place.

[formenow2]

I so need to change!!!

thanks for responding! you give me hope!

thank you for responding. I have been a support to so many others with this problem and now need to look at myself!!! I've pretended I didn't have a problem when I did. They have gotten brave and I feel like a failure. Taking my son to rehab,having him strip searched, watching him go thru what he currently is and I am still here drinking more than ever and trying to be the perfect mom for him when I'm not. I will stay close and make a plan. Thank you for being here for me. All of you out there

[NoSugar]

I so need to change!!!

Just pour out the rest and start NOW! I didn't plan at first - I just jumped in and then got the support here that I needed to keep it up. Don't overthink it - you'll risk talking yourself out of it. It will be the best leap of faith you've ever taken. :h NS

[MossRose]

I so need to change!!!

My story is a bit different, but I do understand. My youngest son was a very, very, wayward teenager. He has pulled it together now, but during that time, I tried to be a good mom. I really thought I was doing all the right things - grounded him for getting arrested for underage drinking - took away his car keys for coming home drunk - punished him over and over for doing drugs and drinking, ad nauseam. And the whole time, I was drinking!! OMG. I so totally get what you are saying. Hang in there. Praying for your son.

[available]

I so need to change!!!

Hi Form and welcome, glad you have found MWO and want to stop drinking. I had a son who came home with a crack addiction and tomorrow it has been a year since he stopped and i was still drinking like a fish when he first came home. Now i have been sober for 100+ days and he is very proud of me as i am of him. Good on your son for going to rehab, you have a reason also now to get sober to be there for each other like my son is for me.

STay on here and post and read. Posting on mwo like a lunatic the first few weeks got me to where i am, this is my AA and changing by daily activities.

Go to the Newbies Nest lots going on there. good luck, you can do this.

[little beagle]

I so need to change!!!

Forme so glad you are back. Being there for your son will give you added strength to kick old als butt to the curb. :welcome:

[formenow2]

I so need to change!!!

Feel so supported hearing from others that have been in my shoes with their kids and themselves. My son just got out of rehab and is now in a recovery house. I was the one who got him there but here I am still drinking. not proud of myself to say the least. He sounds like he is doing well and for that I am so thankful. I just hope he continues his work and I become stronger to begin mine. I owe it to both of us

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

I so need to change!!!

Welcome, For Me... really, for you. There are many middle aged women on this site with similar histories- we read younger ladies' journeys and we can predict the outcome. We can finish each other's sentences and read each other's minds.

You are not alone.

Some of us will gently encourage and coax, and some of us will be more direct. Personally, I can do some hand holding, but I think that I'm a lot like you. You see, at 17, my daughter was caught drunk/vomiting at a marching band event. The principal told me that since there was no "proof of alcohol", I could state that she had a stomach flu and take her home. NOPE. Since she was so out of it, I demanded who her cohorts were, & she told me. So the group of them suffered the consequences together- lost school privileges, suspension, community service. MAN was she MAD at me (as were the other parents)!!! (And like you, I sat in judgement as I sipped on my Pinot Noir, knowing that I did the "right thing".) :xmouth:

My daughter is now 24. It's been 6 long years of me "moderating" and playing around with alcohol in my system. Trying, and failing. Picking myself up, and then lying to myself that I COULD moderate. Silently cursing myself in the morning when I couldn't remember who I talked to, or what I watched on TV, or what I did the night before.

I had a AHA moment, For ME... like you did. I was being half the person I should be. "Checking the box" as I've gone through life, seemingly content, but secretly knowing that I should do better. My moment happened in early February when I sat with my father as he entered hospice care. At 85 years old, he stated he had no regrets. At 49, I do have regrets. So I'm changing, and for me, it's a cold turkey approach. No more moderation.

One of the websites I found is called "Women for Sobriety", and I hope it's okay that I'm cutting and pasting from their website. I found these affirmations, and I hand wrote them in my best cursive, over and over again. The one that really resonates in my heart is the first one.... because whether we like it or not, For Me Now, our "off" button is broken. We can't do "one and done"... so this life threatening problem is there forevermore. At first, I felt like I was in mourning, as if my best little red friend was being pulled out of my gripping hands. THAT was the power of alcohol.

So as you read these affirmations, you may see some that strike your heart.
I encourage you to reflect and/or pray and the ones that you embrace, put them in your own words, and write them down, over and over again. Make book marks, little 3 X 5 index cards and post them on the bathroom mirrors, on your car visor, in your wallet. Make them your Facebook Status!

WFS ?New Life? Acceptance Program
I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.
Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.
Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Happiness is created, not waited for.
Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
Love can change the course of my world.
Caring becomes all important.
The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
The past is gone forever.
No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person.
All love given returns.
I will learn to know that others love me.
Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
I treasure all moments of my new life.
I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

For Me Now, Now is the time to dump the wine. I dumped mine. :l
God didn't give you the strength to get back on your feet so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down. :l

[K9Lover]

I so need to change!!!

Hi Forme! I just wanted to welcome you and see how you are doing today? I am also a single mother with a 16 year old daughter. When she was 12 years old she confronted me about my drinking, and how she was scared I would die. It took another 2 years for me to finally, finally decided that I was going to quit. You can do it to. It's not easy, but it's sooo worth it. Stick close, we do understand and we can help!

[formenow]

I so need to change!!!

Thank you not happy hour happy life. I am making a plan as you all have suggested. Going to see my son who is now in a recovery house and will take him out to lunch and let him know how brave I think he is. Now I just need to rise to the occasion!

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

I so need to change!!!

Happy Sunday, For Me Now! How are you doing? How is your son? If you've been posting updates in other threads, my apologies~ I was thinking of you today and hoping that you are finding your way.

:hug: Patty

[SoberSoul]

I so need to change!!!

I love that list HappyHour. Forgiving ourselves for past bad decisions is a biggie. Thanks

[gabrielle11]

I so need to change too.
before i love nightlife with my friends,drinking and going to a comedy bar something like that, but i realized that i need to change my social life because its not enough to do this. and i change my life i know this is for myself, because I'am me not for other people who's surrounds me. Change will not come if we will wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.