One drink...

[Luckyflower]

One drink...

Oh Brdie ? I?m blind by your moon.:H

The worst is over indeed. I feel like myself again. It is so amazing how it takes so little to do to quit but unfortunately so little to get right back on the drinking rollercoaster. One drink? what a nightmare.

I am extra cautious like I mentioned. I make sure to eat so I feel no cravings. Got a tight plan for the weekend and I don?t want to sound cocky but I am not drinking anymore. This time around I will not get caught off guard. I know what to watch out for and I am wearing my ?full shield?.

Byrdie, the more I think about it, I am grateful for the relapse. I feel stronger than before and I know it?s over (somewhat like the ?switch? you had on your 13 th day).

I wanted to consult with you about the days count, cause I know you are pro counting the days but I am not a fan of it. What would you say be a good number to stop the count? 30? 60? I will appreciate your wisdom.:l

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

One drink...

Lucky, thanks for your candid post, because it will help many of us that dance with the idea of "just one". While I've been on this website, I've found two sad tales of people who have recently passed away, due to alcohol/drugs/addiction. It is so sad to me that they lost their battle, even though I've never met them.

Like you said, it isn't "just one", it's the first one.
That is the kicker, because if there isn't an "off" switch, then when do you stop? What IS the definition of the last drink?

Like you, I'm not a fan of counting, because it then gives alcohol a placeholder in your life. I want to reserve important dates for happy memories, like birthdays and weddings. I know that I stopped drinking at the beginning of February, but I honestly don't know what date.

Hugs, Lucky! :hug:

[Luckyflower]

One drink...

Hi HappyLife

That is so sad to hear. You really don?t have to know the person just knowing the reason of lost life is so sad.

Yes. That one drink took for me a ride from hell. It took a whole month to get back on track. This month was torture and brought suicidal thoughts to my mind. I was never suicidal. I truly don?t believe in that concept and yet I found myself ?thinking ? all ?thanks? to this just one. I think that the definition of the LAST DRINK is complete and full abstinence. I see no other way.

I am still waiting on Byrdie?s reply cause I know I will use her advice. She thinks it?s a good idea to count at least in the beginning just in order to be accountable and I agree with that I just don?t want to count for the rest of my life. So maybe just for a specific number and then stop. We?ll see..

I wish you, like your name happy life and thanks for sharing:rockon:

[little beagle]

One drink...

Lucky thank you for sharing your struggle. Just my 2 cents, but I count days because this is my NEW life and I want to celebrate every day. I reward myself on those anniversaries that feel significant to me.

[Luckyflower]

One drink...

Hi LB- I understand what you are saying. It does make sense. I think it?s something I read on Jason Vales book that said it was stupid to count and maybe it kind of stuck with me.

So, for now I will be counting till I decide not to. The most important thing is really not to drink regardless of counting or not.

Day 8 feels awesome. It?s amazing what only a few sober days do to your soul.
ODAT for not drinking and for protecting the quit.:crazymonkey:

[Petrelhead]

One drink...

Hi LuckyF. Like LB, I'm a counting fan. I'm also not a fan of all books. Some can be beneficial, while others can be completely wrong, as it applies to the reader. I've read a lot about psychology in the last 3 years, including many books.

The content and intended message conveyed by the author is often a very personal one, from their own experience. It may apply to someone else, or it may not.

[Luckyflower]

One drink...

Thank you for that Petrel.
Do you have a reading recommendation? Maybe a book or article that spoke to you most.

[TJAF]

One drink...

Lucky, Welcome back! Please don't think you need to feel embarrassment or shame, not with this group. there isn't a soul posting here that hasn't stepped into your shoes at least once. What's important is that you are back and have 6 solid days behind you.

As for the fabled one drink...at least in my case I never think in terms of one drink. Even thinking about having one drink leads me to immediately think about the second or third. I quickly move on to where I'm going to hide my bottle and oh by the way I'll need to get another bottle because the one in my imaginary hand is already half gone....I never think about just one!

The good news is that real tangible benefits can be seen almost immediately after stopping and it only gets better from there. That's the real incentive for me. I can see, touch and feel my sobriety in positive gains each and every day. Yes, I have plenty of crappy days but, I have more better days than bad.

Again congratulations on your homecoming, its good to have you back.

[Petrelhead]

One drink...

Luckyflower;1642788 wrote: Thank you for that Petrel.
Do you have a reading recommendation? Maybe a book or article that spoke to you most.

Hi LuckyF. I haven't read a lot about quitting AL, which is odd for me, because I tend to read and research a lot when I'm serious about something.

The one book that inspired me was " high sobriety" by Jill Stark. I heard her speak on a local radio interview on New Year's Day, here in Australia. She's a Scottish immigrant, now Australian journalist in Melbourne. It's a book about her year without booze, and the dangerous drinking culture in Australia and the rest of the world.

It's a very easy read. Available on Amazon.com.

[Byrdlady]

One drink...

Hey Lucky! Congrats on 8 days!

I contend that you can't manage what you can't measure. Therefore, I think counting is important. On this site, one of the first things I look for on a person's post is the join date and the quit date. Maybe I'm just a 'time' person, I don't know, but I have seen 1000's of folks come and go. The ones who aren't serious about their count 'SEEM' to not be serious about their quit, either. This is strictly my opinion and what I've seen thru observation. I'm with LB, it is almost a date of celebration for me! I am proud of it.
We didn't have the roll call when I first started, but getting 30 days in was a big deal (still is, as you know). So I didn't make a mission of counting so much after that, but I did count out to 100 days and see when that was and made that my new target. I work from home and have a calendar right up here in front of me, I begin each month with my number of days up there. I am 1164 days today! On the roll call tho, there are prizes for milestones, and I think it's great fun to cheer each other on as the milestones pile up. After all, who else is going to congratulate on us for all this great work???!!!
So to answer your question, I do think it's important to count to 30 at least, and then count out to 100 to use as a goal. After that, whatever makes YOU happy. It's YOUR quit and whatever helps you is the key. Around here, it is a way of knowing where someone is in the journey. Someone having cravings at day 3 is a lot different than someone having cravings on day 362! Lav counts, and I just do what she does!!
Keep up the GREAT work!! Hugs!! Byrdie

[lead366]

One drink...

I agree with Byrdie here...What gets measured?..Gets done! AND!!!!,....Especially in those delicate early days...meaning the first 365.....meaning we have to guard!...meaning we truly have to CHANGE our thinking. Change your thinking?.....change the picture.

Rehab for me means rehabituate...not rehabilitate......since our old habits all centered around either planning our drunk or nursing our hangover...which then got cured by getting our drunk. OK fine...So we dont want to drink....we then have to get our minds onto something else...fitness, hobbies,helping others in rehab to remind us,...things that push us further away from alcohol.....this will work.

Yaaaaa...measurement...silly me decided to nurse my last 40 days with chocolate, bacon and ice cream. It worked!...at the expense of 10 pounds. HAHA. Now I have to measure my food and take it off...since I wont buy clothes until Im back to my weight. Im down 2 today since...8 more to go.

I also feel that with each milestone...whether 30-60-90-120-180 etc....our minds will change from repair and we will view the world with a different lens. This is something we should count on and look forward to. Does our lens change after 90-120-180 days Byrdie? If so..then measure I shall...and then I will review counting after 365.

Until 365?...Im in very intensive care...and mindful of my every thought.

Just my two cents.

[NoSugar]

One drink...

Re: counting days.

I think its kind of like having a baby. For the first couple months, when someone asks how old s/he is, you know the EXACT answer to the DAY. After awhile, you answer rounded to the week and later still - the month. For a good long time, the quarter and half years of age are important to the child. Eventually, knowing the year is enough and at some point (now, for me), I either stop and do the math or say that s/he is "mid-20s" :H.

I set the goal to count to 100 days and did that. I thought participating in Roll Call, getting and giving encouragement was helpful to everyone involved. I notice the 24th of each month now and I can't imagine that I'll ever not notice 1/24 each year. Checking in on JC's Sunday Shout Out once in awhile is fun. The last time I did I realized how close I was to 400 days - little things like that can be very encouraging.

On the other hand, if it stresses you out, it isn't a good tool for you and you should get it out of your box.

Have a good, AF weekend! NS

[treetops]

One drink...

I have my quit date written down and I sometimes will post when it's been a certain number of months but I don't think counting is necessary for everyone. I have seen people get very obsessed about their numbers and dates and I personally think this can miss the point. I am not a big fan of anniversaries either so that's probably just me and maybe my cultural background.

I also don't like to add anything to my signature such as my quit date or a quotation. Again that's my personal choice and not a criticism of anyone.

[Luckyflower]

One drink...

TJAF- Thank you for welcoming me back. I loved the see, touch and feel the sobriety.

Petrel ? I saw Jill Stark on you tube. She is very honest and funny. I will look into her book.

Byrdie- I agree with the measuring statement. I will continue counting. It does feel good to celebrate those round dates. 30, 60 ?.

Lead ? I too like to treat myself and can completely relate to over indulging with food but in the early stage on quitting and know how well food deals with cravings. I remember the last time I quit I was eating more then I should but that was the only thing that kept me from drinking. After about 2 weeks the overeating subsided and I even went on a juice/shake diet.

NS- I loved your new born analogy. I think it spoke to me the most and it made a lot of sense. I will continue counting.

Thank you all for your posts. Have a wonderful AF weekend.
BTW, Today is day 9.:thanks:

[Byrdlady]

One drink...

GREAT JOB on 9 days!
Lead, does one's perspective change at 30-60-90-120? Yes, it does. Year three is different than years 2 and 1. But I can tell you this, with each and every passing day, I am miles ahead of where I was. When I was at 60 days, I looked back at 30 and saw how far I'd come. The good news is that each milestone helps you realize what growth you've had. Yes, 90 days is easier than 30, but at 30 you don't know that yet. Because 30 is so much easier than day 4 or 5, for example. I bet Lav would tell us that being at year 5 is considerably easier than year 3, where I am. So I look forward to the next new day, because I have come so far. It really does get easier, I CAN tell you that....just keep going forward!
Great job to everyone here! xo, Byrdie