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[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

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Lucky Flower, if counting works for you, do it!
I'm more like No Sugar, but the beauty of this forum is that we are all different.

You have a lovely name, but as time passes, you will blossom from "lucky" to "strong" .
:hug: Patty

[Luckyflower]

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Day 10 - Woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face. It is the last day of my second AF weekend. I remember the first and second weekends were the hardest for me the previous time. Once I passed it, it got so much easier.

Now I really feel that I can focus on my other struggle which is the weight gain. I paid no attention for the last 10 days to my food intake cause I knew it was the only way to beat the cravings. The cravings subsided and I can look forward to a healthier food intake. I just wrote my diet plan which is mostly shakes and salads and am starting today. I just had to remind myself that if it will be too hard or if the cravings return, I shall postpone the diet. This time around I am protecting my sobriety with my life. My weight lose goal is 20 kg but if it will interfere with keeping the quit, I will put it on hold.

Wishing everyone an amazing AF week.:hug:

[Petrelhead]

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Good luck LF! I'm slowly getting past the food cravings now. At week 5 , I'm quite comfortable being AF. I put on a few kilos, but slowly getting that under control. Lots of vegetables. I'm a huge fan of exercise. For me that's running. I hope you can find an activity you can get enthusiastic about. Stay strong.

[Luckyflower]

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Hi Petrel,

Congrtulations on 5 weeks. You are doing wonderful. Great job.:goodjob:

I envy you for being an exercise fan. I really need to get myself in that state of mind. Took your advice though and went to the community center. They have some great classes and I will be starting tomorrow. (I get bored with the gym?s machines so a class will be a better setting for me). Being sober is so amazing, isn?t it?

Wishing anyone who is reading this a great AF evening and week.:l

Day 12 begins maniana...

[Petrelhead]

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Hi LF. Yes loving being sober. I'm sure you'll find some exercise that you'll enjoy. It sounds like like you have some real momentum now.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

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Awesome progress, Lucky Flower! My exercise has been running with my dogs.

:hug: Patty

[Luckyflower]

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I was quiet busy at work these last few days to a point when I came home and could not even look at the computer. I?m 15 days in and feeling good. I am a bit disappointed as my diet plan is not working as I anticipated because I was stressed a bit and I promised myself that my number one priority is staying sober.

So, I may not be skinnier than last week but not a drop of alcohol in me which makes me feel proud and happy. I keep thinking about the HELL I put myself through when went back to drinking and I cannot help myself from thinking WHY? and WHAT?

What was I thinking? What ?pleasure? did it give me? What?s in this f**ing poison that attracted me so much? What ?problems? did it solve? What did I gain by drinking? And the Whats go on and on.

I know I cannot reverse time and I don?t want to sound like I?m dwelling but maybe it?s a process in my recovery, to never forget that awful month of drinking who brought me so much misery and despair. It does get easier each and every passing day. My feelings towards AL are becoming hateful. I really don?t like to use the hate word cause I know its harsh but I have no other way to express the feeling. I am reading trough the threads and my heart aches for all the experiences other members here are/were having. The destruction of lives, relationships and children of addicts who experience a drunk mother/father behavior. It?s so sad and heartrending.

With that said, I wish you all a sober, amazing and happy weekend. I cannot relate AL to anything happy and fun. I think its sinking in?:l

[SoberSoul]

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Hello fellow Canadian, Lucky Flower. So happy for your success. You're getting your mojo back. Just not putting the empty calories into your belly will eventually pay off; diet or not..

I really feel the same way you do about WHY? WHAT pleasure does booze give me that I keep relapsing? My mother is an old, self-centred alkie and I sure as heck don't want to end up like her. I spent a few weeks in North Vancouver walking back and forth from my brother's place to the hospital daily to help take care of her as she was recovering from an alcohol induced fall and seizure and it was HELL.. she was kicking the nurses, throwing water and hallucinating. Terrible experience that I would not want to put my kids through.

I am determined to stay sober for the rest of my life too and staying close to these boards is crucial. Have a great sober weekend.

[Luckyflower]

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Hi Sobersoul ? I was saddened to hear about your mom. It?s hard enough to deal with elderly parents without the AL issue which sounds quiet serious for her. Stay strong my friend and beat the beast. I wish you success in your journey.
:l

[Luckyflower]

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Day 20

Feeling so much better. Even the diet in going well. Being sober again and discovering the real me. I have no cravings and hardly think about AL but I am aware 24/7 that it may creep on me and if it does I am ready to deal with it.

The fog had been lifted and I am ready to think and act on other aspects of life and look into planning the future which has no AL in it.

Passover is next week. It?s a big Jewish meal where as a part of the evening you are supposed to drink and bless on 4 glasses of wine. This will not happen this year. I will bless as the kids do ? with grape juice.

I remember last Passover I drank so much wine I barely made it home. I wasn?t plastered or anything but definitely drank way toooooo much. Wine was never my poison I used to be a big Jack?s fan so drinking wine was more like juice (if you can imagine the tolerance).

Anyhow, wishing everyone a great and sober rest of the day.:thanks::h

[Luckyflower]

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It has been a while. I happy to report that tomorrow I will be celebrating 30 AF days and the feeling is wonderful. I do have down days but the up ones are bigger in numbers, so I guess it?s good.

AL cravings are still there but not as bad as they used to be. I am constantly aware that I am just one drink away from the fall and I fight the cravings. As the days go by I gently remind myself I don?t drink and it goes away.

I had been to a huge (250 people) Passover dinner where the wine was flowing but had no urges to drink. I came to the dinner well prepared and with the notion that I don?t drink. As long as I know beforehand I am good to go out and it doesn't bother me at all. I always have the same color drink in my hands and no one asks about my not drinking. Still find it silly to find excuses but that?s the way people are. If they are drinking they will ask you how come you don?t and I am not ready yet to say I don?t drink and then have to explain myself.

I have adopted a few new daily routines:
? Checking into MWO with my morning coffee. I normally read the newbies nest and the new threads posted that day, then when I get home from work and lastly right before I go to sleep.
? I drink ? squeezed lemon in water as soon as I get up (before the coffee).
? I drink my night cap before bed time (no it has no AL in it). It?s a piece of ginger in hot water. Like natural tea. I love it, it?s very soothing.
? I downloaded a few free hypnosis apps (relaxation, weight loss and then some) and I listen to them with my head phones.
? I make sure to write in my diary every day. I don?t always feel like it but I know how important it is to keep in touch with my feelings.
? I replaced the ice cream with natural sugars. So these days I eat cantaloupes or strawberries to kill the sugar carvings.

So yes. Life is quite good. I can look into the future and believe my goals are reachable. I keep reminding myself that none of this will exist if I go back to drinking. I have so much to lose now. Don?t want to go back to the dark life I had. It?s only when you quit drinking and step aside that you realize that you were in such a dark place that had no meaning and no joy. These days I enjoy the simple things and I am grateful for every sober day I experience. I know that I can deal with situations and not over react (with the booze mind).

I know that I am not out of the woods and that the relapse can occur at any second. I know that this journey is far from over and all I can commit to is one day at a time. As long as I am not drinking today I am getting closer to reaching my goals and that by itself is a wonderful feeling.

Happy sober weekend everyone. You guys are my rock.:thanks::l:h