Hi everyone! I am Erica and I've been pouring over these forums for days. Thanks for being here! I relate to so so many of the posts.
About me:
I'm 34 and have been drinking since I was 20, when my then boyfriend ( one day to be ex husband) introduced me to beer. Once I acquired the taste, it became a threesome from that day on. Ex is/was a great person, and I ruined that relationship with my drinking but we are still friendly and share two teen boys together.
After we divorced, my drinking escalated..it was really the reason it didn't work out in the first place..I isolated myself because of my guilt and shame and well... So on and so on.
That was 8 years ago.
4 years ago I fell in love with a close friend of mine and we got together and had a baby together. I managed to quit drinking for my pregnancy, like I usually did, and didn't pick it back up for awhile. Then when I did, I found that I was even worse than before..the sleep deprivation and hangovers made me want to die so for the past two years since, I have been trying to moderate, or as I call it " maintaining" with little success.
I have always been just a barely functional drunk, doing the bare minimum to just get by so I could drink that evening. I suppose my brothers drinking has over shadowed mine in a lot of ways, so I kind of flew under the family radar..his progression is more dramatic, and outwardly scary. His poison of choice is vodka and he has almost died a few times and he has hepatitis. My poison is beer, good beer and as many as I could drink. Our poor parents. Lol
So fast forward to now, I am surprisingly pregnant again and as I usually do, I have quit drinking for the duration. This time it was incredibly hard to stop. I finally made the decision that I am done and I want out! I want to feel this good from now on and be the mother and partner and daughter I know I can be.
I hate who I became/become from drinking. This is my fresh start.
I will be here following along everyday. Thanks for listening to me babble and sorry for typos, wanted to get this out before I go to bed for the night. Good night all and happy sober dreams!
About me:
I'm 34 and have been drinking since I was 20, when my then boyfriend ( one day to be ex husband) introduced me to beer. Once I acquired the taste, it became a threesome from that day on. Ex is/was a great person, and I ruined that relationship with my drinking but we are still friendly and share two teen boys together.
After we divorced, my drinking escalated..it was really the reason it didn't work out in the first place..I isolated myself because of my guilt and shame and well... So on and so on.
That was 8 years ago.
4 years ago I fell in love with a close friend of mine and we got together and had a baby together. I managed to quit drinking for my pregnancy, like I usually did, and didn't pick it back up for awhile. Then when I did, I found that I was even worse than before..the sleep deprivation and hangovers made me want to die so for the past two years since, I have been trying to moderate, or as I call it " maintaining" with little success.
I have always been just a barely functional drunk, doing the bare minimum to just get by so I could drink that evening. I suppose my brothers drinking has over shadowed mine in a lot of ways, so I kind of flew under the family radar..his progression is more dramatic, and outwardly scary. His poison of choice is vodka and he has almost died a few times and he has hepatitis. My poison is beer, good beer and as many as I could drink. Our poor parents. Lol
So fast forward to now, I am surprisingly pregnant again and as I usually do, I have quit drinking for the duration. This time it was incredibly hard to stop. I finally made the decision that I am done and I want out! I want to feel this good from now on and be the mother and partner and daughter I know I can be.
I hate who I became/become from drinking. This is my fresh start.
I will be here following along everyday. Thanks for listening to me babble and sorry for typos, wanted to get this out before I go to bed for the night.
Good night all and happy sober dreams!
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