Just have one...come on...

[briseus]

Pushers

I just would like to point out - not that any of you need me to do that - as to how truly annoying 'pushers' are...you know...those people that tell you to have a drink, try a drink, it's just one drink, why aren't you drinking, here's a drink, have a sip of my drink...etc. etc. etc.
In the past when I tried to quit...I saw this as an invitation - why the heck not...I've been doing so well, so I will have a drink! But now...with nearly 60 days sober...I get very annoyed.
Not only do I get annoyed but I am flooded with a range of emotions...frustration, irritability, sadness, anger...just a flood.
I was recently given a bottle of wine by someone that I did a favor for, this person doesn't know I have a drinking problem, but I was annoyed all the same...and I came to the realization that I am not annoyed at this person, I am annoyed at my self...or maybe it's not ME, but more so my addictive voice...annoyed that I can't drink like normal people anymore...that it is no longer even an option...
I am always reading these threads...and I know how hard it is to get out of this trap...but I think many people need to not kid themselves...if you are here in the first place...it is evident that you have an issue.
I did that for the longest time. I wasted so much time...because I kept going back...or I broke down and took that glass of wine, or beer....and I went right back to square one...and it was even harder to get back on the wagon.
I guess what I am trying to say, to those people that question whether they have problems or not, that it really is ultimately up to you - but if you get offered a drink, or someone gives you a bottle of liquor as a gift...and you get angry...or confused or overwhelmingly sad...that this is a pretty significant point in time to make some changes and realize that you might just have a bit of an issue with alochol.
I know I did. I still struggle...and heck, we may forever get a liiiiittle peeved when people push drinks on us...but ultimately it is up to us whether we take that glass or not...
As far as I am concerned, I am content with my glass of water....
I guess I bring this up because I am going to a birthday party this weekend...and I know people will be drinking - and I was the life of the party - so I do know how hard it is and I *know* how pushy people can get...I just need to prepare myself...and strengthen my resolve to not go back to the life that I ultimately hated and was severely unhappy with, just for that 30 second euphoria that ended up becoming a sick obsession.

Happy Friday.
Bri.-

[Byrdlady]

Just have one...come on...

Wow, what a great post! You are dead on, too. I don't know if you've ever been on a diet, but it's like whenever you say those words to someone, they come back with the same ole lines, too. 'Just a bite won't hurt you! It's my Birthday, you HAVE to try this!' On and on..... It IS annoying. They are trying to derail our efforts, whatever they are. However, WE are the ultimate stewards of what we consume, so we have to be a mindful gatekeeper of what goes in, you are so right! This is an annoying habit so many people have, I know I will be more sensitive to it myself (I'm s Southerner, we push food on people).
I am so happy for your success! Keep up the great work! Byrdie

[momofthree]

Just have one...come on...

I would do that as well, more so because of my guilt from drinking alone. If I was having a drink I would always say "just have one with me?" to my husband knowing he didn't drink. I did it to try to get him to drink so I wouldn't feel so bad.

[paulywogg]

Just have one...come on...

Hi Bri,i know how you feel,like Byrdie said it is similar to being on a diet,one bite and you say "what the hell,i'll start again monday"or whatever,just use the old standby "i'm on antibiotics"this weekend,i'll bet you'll find out youre still the life of the party,difference is you'll remember everything,you are rockin' sobriety,i'm super proud of you btw

[rednose]

Just have one...come on...

Great posts

Thanks

[Alky]

Just have one...come on...

Bri, your concerns about an upcoming party particularly resonated with me. I'm a professional musician and my orchestra's last concert of the season is this upcoming weekend. Traditionally, after the Saturday night performance, we have a big "tailgate" in the parking lot of the performing arts center. In years past, I had quite the reputation as the life of the party. The tuba player was constantly plying me with Mickey's Malt Liquor. When you can keep up/outdrink a brass player, you know you're in dangerous territory. My out this year is going to be to get some Clausthaler (German non-alcoholic brew), pour it into a plastic party cup, and no one will be the wiser.

[Alky]

Just have one...come on...

briseus;1647655 wrote:
I guess I bring this up because I am going to a birthday party this weekend...and I know people will be drinking - and I was the life of the party - so I do know how hard it is and I *know* how pushy people can get...I just need to prepare myself...and strengthen my resolve to not go back to the life that I ultimately hated and was severely unhappy with, just for that 30 second euphoria that ended up becoming a sick obsession.

Happy Friday.
Bri.-

Bri, your concerns about an upcoming party particularly resonated with me. I'm a professional musician and my orchestra's last concert of the season is this upcoming weekend. Traditionally, after the Saturday night performance, we have a big "tailgate" in the parking lot of the performing arts center. In years past, I had quite the reputation as the life of the party. The tuba player was constantly plying me with Mickey's Malt Liquor. When you can keep up/outdrink a brass player, you know you're in dangerous territory. My out this year is going to be to get some Clausthaler (German non-alcoholic brew), pour it into a plastic party cup, and no one will be the wiser.

[Luckyflower]

Just have one...come on...

Alky- That?s cool I did it as well on New Year?s Eve. I was at a party in a mansion in Florida and they had 2 bars. I kept going to the second bar away from my friends and ordered water with some cranberry juice so everyone thought I was having vodka with cranberry like them. I knew that saying I?m not drinking was not going to fly so I let them think I am drinking their poison. Guess I was the only one to wake up sober and happy the nest day while the rest woke up with a nasty hangover. I normally find excuses not to drink but sometimes all you have to do is drink the same COLOR drink so no one is pushing me or annoying me with ?hey, it?s just one drink? or ?it?s New Years Eve, live a little?

To conclude, when there?s a will there?s a way to avoid the annoying remarks and stay sober.

[rednose]

Just have one...come on...

briseus;1647655 wrote: Pushers

I just would like to point out - not that any of you need me to do that - as to how truly annoying 'pushers' are...you know...those people that tell you to have a drink, try a drink, it's just one drink, why aren't you drinking, here's a drink, have a sip of my drink...etc. etc. etc.
In the past when I tried to quit...I saw this as an invitation - why the heck not...I've been doing so well, so I will have a drink! But now...with nearly 60 days sober...I get very annoyed.
Not only do I get annoyed but I am flooded with a range of emotions...frustration, irritability, sadness, anger...just a flood.
I was recently given a bottle of wine by someone that I did a favor for, this person doesn't know I have a drinking problem, but I was annoyed all the same...and I came to the realization that I am not annoyed at this person, I am annoyed at my self...or maybe it's not ME, but more so my addictive voice...annoyed that I can't drink like normal people anymore...that it is no longer even an option...
I am always reading these threads...and I know how hard it is to get out of this trap...but I think many people need to not kid themselves...if you are here in the first place...it is evident that you have an issue.
I did that for the longest time. I wasted so much time...because I kept going back...or I broke down and took that glass of wine, or beer....and I went right back to square one...and it was even harder to get back on the wagon.
I guess what I am trying to say, to those people that question whether they have problems or not, that it really is ultimately up to you - but if you get offered a drink, or someone gives you a bottle of liquor as a gift...and you get angry...or confused or overwhelmingly sad...that this is a pretty significant point in time to make some changes and realize that you might just have a bit of an issue with alochol.
I know I did. I still struggle...and heck, we may forever get a liiiiittle peeved when people push drinks on us...but ultimately it is up to us whether we take that glass or not...
As far as I am concerned, I am content with my glass of water....
I guess I bring this up because I am going to a birthday party this weekend...and I know people will be drinking - and I was the life of the party - so I do know how hard it is and I *know* how pushy people can get...I just need to prepare myself...and strengthen my resolve to not go back to the life that I ultimately hated and was severely unhappy with, just for that 30 second euphoria that ended up becoming a sick obsession.

Happy Friday.
Bri.-

Good luck at that party. Stay strong and focused. I have always wanted to come up with a witty line for people who try to push drinks on to me. I will have to work at that.

Thanks for this post, I know I am going to be put in the same situation and it is my choice to drink or not to drink.

:thanks:

rednose

[treetops]

Just have one...come on...

You will be fine at the party Briseus.
For many years I was the life of the party - then I had to avoid parties or just didn't get invited. You can guess why. :H
Now I just choose whether or not to attend and I drink what I want. Which is not AL anymore. I don't pretend I am drinking an AL drink or that I am sick or anything. I just say I don't drink AL if asked and look the person firmly in the eye.
It seems to work for me both with friends and strangers.

[paulywogg]

Just have one...come on...

How'd it go Bri?

[briseus]

Just have one...come on...

I'm sorry for not updating!!

So the party went okay. I stuck to coffee and water. Although there was a huge bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter and a fridge full of beer. But I persevered. Didn't touch anything and didn't have crazy cravings.

I have to keep my guard up. The next month or so is packed with outings and get togethers. Of course the pushers and lots of booze will be around. But I know I can do this.

I hope everyone else is well.
Thanks for everyone's feedback by the way. Very helpful.

Bri.

[Petrelhead]

Just have one...come on...

Well done Bris,

I've been out a bit lately. I find I'm enjoying the food a whole lot more. Eating and chatting has been a great distraction.

I'm finding good company and interesting conversation has taken my mind off drinking, and have had some good evenings out. Different to when I drank, when I guess I was just thinking about the next drink.

I'm glad to hear you got through the night.

[Byrdlady]

Just have one...come on...

rednose;1647826 wrote: Good luck at that party. Stay strong and focused. I have always wanted to come up with a witty line for people who try to push drinks on to me. I will have to work at that.

Thanks for this post, I know I am going to be put in the same situation and it is my choice to drink or not to drink.

:thanks:

rednose

Red, I used one the other night when I went out with a sales rep and his wife to dinner. Everyone ordered wine except me...He said, 'are you not having any?' I said, "No, I find it impairs my judgment! Bah!!" And I actually used the 'Bah!' at the end for a laugh! Nothing else was said, it was just laughed off. Like you, I'm still looking for the perfect 'one liner'! I'll let you know when I find it!! xo, B

[rednose]

Just have one...come on...

briseus;1649158 wrote: I'm sorry for not updating!!

So the party went okay. I stuck to coffee and water. Although there was a huge bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter and a fridge full of beer. But I persevered. Didn't touch anything and didn't have crazy cravings.

I have to keep my guard up. The next month or so is packed with outings and get togethers. Of course the pushers and lots of booze will be around. But I know I can do this.

I hope everyone else is well.
Thanks for everyone's feedback by the way. Very helpful.

Bri.

Great Job Bri, Keep up the good energy.

rednose