Desperate to stop wine drinking

[Candlelight]

I am hoping someone can help me. I am a 55-year-old woman. Over the past year I have developed the habit of drinking 1 to 1.5 bottles of wine daily. I never get to the point where I'm falling-down drunk, but increasingly I've been getting angry and hostile as the evening wears on. A lot of my good habits (I used to be a daily exerciser) have disappeared and I'm no longer as effective at work as I used to be. It doesn't help that my marriage is bad (it was that way, though, long before I began to drink) and my life stressful. My company also requires that I work from home, which worsens my isolation and depression. I've tried to stop drinking but can only manage a day or two before I go back to it. I really, really need to end this horrible habit. I am so glad I found this site and I eagerly await your replies! Thank you all.

[rednose]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Candlelight.

Welcome to this site. I like you can't control my drinking once I start. For me it is an all or nothing thing. If I have one drink I never stop there. So I am working on day six of being alcohol free. I won't kid you by saying it is easy, but it can be done. I at one point had eight weeks alcohol free and I never felt better in my life. But I got cocky and thought I could now control my drinking and it took me a year of drinking before I found my way back to this site.
I was drinking a fifth of vodka or whiskey a day before I got back here.

I am not a big AA person but they do have some good advice.

One that I try to keep in mind is HALT
Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired those are all triggers for me.

Post often, don't be afraid to ask questions and don't try to think of it as a lifetime think of it as one day at a time or some days one minute at a time.

This is a wonderful site and talking and posting really does help.

I am home for work as well so it was easy for me to drink when ever I wanted.

Best of luck to you and welcome. If I can do this anyone can.

rednose. :welcome:

[rednose]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

jane27;1649437 wrote: rednose, I always wondered what a fifth looked like. I guess I'll google it. I wish they'd just use ounces like everything else. The way I'd describe the large liquor bottle sizes, is Listerine bottle sized, and big bottle of wine sized. Sadly, getting to the bottom of either of those always made me annoyed at how thick the glass was.

Jane, I just looked myself because I did not know how many ounces it was. All I know is it never seemed to be enough.

Fifth" means fifth of a gallon. A gallon is 128 ounces, so a fifth is 25.6 ounces.

rednose

[j-vo]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Hi Candlelight,
This is a great place for guidance, encouragement, and learning. It takes lots of effort and a willingness to change some things in your life. The Newbie's Nest is a great place to start as well as reading the toolbox in Monthly Abstinence thread. Welcome and read, read, read! We can all beat this beast!!! Lots of long-term successes around here.

[Lavande]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Hello & welcome Candlelight

Glad you decided to join us!
My first post here was almost identical to yours, amazing. Same age, same home & work issues & same wine problem. I now have 5 years of freedom from AL & couldn't be more grateful. Life is not perfect but I am a much happier & healthier person. You can be too

I made a strong commitment & a good working plan. Here's our https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html where you will find lots of great ideas to help you put your plan together. Jump into the Newbies Nest thread for plenty of on going support. I'm still posting there daily after all this time because I am so grateful.

I realized early on that we can unlearn these bad habits, but it takes planning & some work.
Wishing you the very best!

Lav

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Welcome, Candlelight.

For some people, reading and posting in the newbies thread is the best place to be- there are a lot of people that can relate to you. For others, it helps to post on a thread like the one you started, where this one is all about YOU, and holds you accountable. Your choice- Red Nose is new here too and he likes his own thread. Come back and write- we don't bite!

I wrote a thread called "Welcome to the Window Shoppers" and if you read it, you may see how we are alike. I'm a little younger than you (49), but I work for a big company and I have a home office, too. Are you required to be at your home, or can you be with your laptop somewhere else? Can you go to the public library and log in, or go to a coffee shop or hotel lobby to work?

I had a friend that used to say, "no matter where you are, you are alone", so changing your environment for now may be a short term solution- however, it may be what you need to start.

If you feel you can go 2 days without drinking, start drinking water now. Do some reading here, and think about what YOUR plan should include?

You don't have to fix everything at once- once thing at a time- but I hope you stay around.

This is your way out.

:l Patty

[Alky]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

jane27;1649437 wrote: rednose, I always wondered what a fifth looked like.

Jane, a fifth is 750ml, same as a standard bottle of wine

[Fleur23]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Hi Candlelight. I found that to stop drinking entails more than just stopping the drink. I reckon we have to work on ourselves, get our self esteem back, believe in ourselves and find things to do to fill in time that we like to do... we must enjoy what we are doing. I find affirmations are great.... I am a wonderful person... over and over.. sounds silly to start with.. but after a while you start believing you are (because you are!!). Live life for yourself and do things for yourself, things you enjoy. Don't live your life worried about what others may think of you, and don't live your life for someone else. Its all about you, its your life... you have to have plan to make it happen. Make a plan to get back into exercise... set a day each week and do it... start structuring your life to what you'd like it to be. You're in the drivers seat here...

[frances]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Welcome Candlelight! Your drinking is very similar to mine - a daily bottle of wine - sometimes more.

You will have great support here. As many have already said - get a plan in place. What will you do when the cravings come? What will you do at the 'witching hour' when your mind starts telling you it's time for a drink? Eat, have tea or water, take a walk, come on here and read and post - whatever it is for you, you need to know what you are going to do - the cravings do go away eventually. I never thought they would but I am on day 50 and now at the end of a long day instead of thinking (obsessing) about wine I am thinking about having a nice cup of tea.

You can do this - stick around, read a lot - you will find many people here with stories that sound just like yours - many of them are years into being AF like Lav - and provide great support, encouragement, and guidance.

[Candlelight]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

OMG, I never expected so much support and encouragement

I just wanted to post a great big overall thank you to everyone who responded to my post. Here I was, at one of the lowest points in my life, and I never thought there would be such an outpouring of support! I feel humbled and grateful. It looks like I've finally come to the right place!

I have tons of questions that I will be asking ...

[Candlelight]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Frances, thank you! What scares me the most is the fear of withdrawal symptoms. I've read so many horror stories. But some people also say one bottle of wine a day isn't that hard to withdraw from. What was it like for you? Did you go cold turkey?

[frances]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Hi Candle - I was a little concerned about withdrawal too - I read somewhere about tapering and so I started with 2 glasses of wine for 2 days, then 1 glass for a day and then I had half a glass left and so I had that on the last day. I don't know that much about withdrawal -are you alone? If you could have someone with you just in case, then you might want to go ahead and go cold turkey. Chances are you will not have any serious withdrawal but it would be good to have someone around just in case. Maybe someone more knowledgeable than me on this will chime in. I have seen a lot of people recommend cold turkey because tapering just gives that excuse to keep drinking and if you are ready to stop you should stop completely. For me, the tapering worked without trouble - after I finished the bottle of wine (after tapering) I knew I was going to stop and that is what I did.

Good luck and keep us posted and stick around here

[Cocoflo]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Hi Candle,

I could have written your post! I was drinking about the same, work from home and have let work, family and myself slide due to drinking. I'm on day 3, and it is tough, but I've been drinking lots of water, eating and taking vitamins. I'm definitely starting to feel better. Check out newbies nest, I've found so much encouragement there over the past few days. I felt so much support and so much less alone in this journey!

best,
cocoflo

[MossRose]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Hi Candle and welcome. I totally understand where you are at. I'm a 55 year old woman, who started drinking a lot more wine when my marriage began to crumble. I was always a drinker, but eventually I hit the tipping point and my life spun completely out of control. I finally limped into MWO, and thank God I found this place. I was at the lowest point in my life. And suddenly, I was surrounded by loving, caring people that I could actually talk to about my problem...something I couldn't do IRL. It worked. I have had a few false starts, but eventually it took. So if you really want this - really, really want this - you can do it. Trust me, life is so much better life on the other side.

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be isolated during your work day. Many people at my company love it, but I have resisted it for this very reason. Folks think I'm crazy to turn down a "work-at-home" offer, but I know how hard it would be. Maybe you could look for a different job? I know that may sound simplistic, but if it's even a remote option, you may want to consider it.

Regarding withdrawal - I was terrified too. But even with decades of heavy drinking behind me, I managed to get through it without needing medical assistance. I realize that's not always the case, but it was in mine. I did a few things beforehand and during to make it easier. Drank a lot of fluids, ate a lot of healthy food and supplemented with the vitamins, minerals and herbs suggested on this site. Or maybe I was just lucky. But no matter what, you can get through this. We'll be here for you. So post often. Sending love and light to you.

xx, MR

[treetops]

Desperate to stop wine drinking

Welcome candle. :welcome: I was around the same age , similar wine consumption and work from home a lot. Quit c 18 mths ago. I did have counselling first and tried other methods but MWO was a godsend. No physical withdrawals for me apart from a few night sweats and bad sleep for a few weeks. I made sure I ate well, drank lots of non AL drinks and most of all gave myself downtime from work - watched DVDs , read trash, walks and hot baths.
Never looked back and now I am more productive than ever and just as crazy:H as I ever was!!!