Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

[buffy]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

When I drink alone I start wondering to myself what things would be like if I would have done things differently. Like...."why didn't I move to Aspen and been a ski instructor....why didn't I move to Paris when I had the chance, bla bla bla...." I make myself ill with regrets. When I am sober, I am pretty happy, a bit bored I guess with the so-called "normal life"...I can change that if I stay sober, I can't move forward drunk or with a hangover. There are lots of things I still want to do that will be exciting for me.

[hart]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

(((Buffy)))

That's a great point! How many of us have seen the crying in their beer drunk that expresses just that sort of regret! :thanks: Buffy!

[gitawine]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Legal Eage-I feel the same way, I guess we "speak" to eachother I'm looking forward to the weekend every day of the week. I know I have to be careful and moderate, but still just to have the glass of wine in my hand, to feel in my element again, it's like w/ a glass of wine I suddenly become "me" again. I know it's not real, and it's all perceived in my mind, but thats how it feels. Theres honestly times, and I know this is horrible, but it's crossed my mind, that I wish my BF would just leave so I could go back to being a drunk! This is the man I just bought a 400K + house w/ in January!
Buffy: I am generally happy when I am sober too, I find even a glass or two puts a more negative spin on everything, and I'm more likely to take offense at the smallest things, or have "woe is me" moments where I regret every decision I've ever made in the past.

[LegalEagle]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Gitawine, I have to say, I just love that avatar of yours. She had such a beautiful face.

Now, back to business. I actually find myself on the weekends sometimes being happy when my wife runs an errand so I can knock back and extra few without being nagged. Nagged. What a strange word for wishing my significant other wasn't drinking himself drunk!

[gitawine]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Legal Eagle,
It's Vivien Leigh who played Scarlett O'Hara in Gone w/ the Wind.

[DidItForMe]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

There are some great words of wisdom in these posts! Gitawine: I totally understand the feeling of wanting to feel that buzz, of wanting to get drunk. I don't want to be "a drunk", I crave to be able to be that person who can drink and feel good, get a bit giddy, laugh, joke, and stop when she has had enough. To be that person that other people think is fun to be around when she has had a few. But I know better than that now. I do not stop when I have had "enough" and I am not fun to be around because I never stop at "a few".
Now that I have tried to not drink I feel like my world is sometimes turned completely upside down. I can get downright angry, edgy, frustrated, and depressed when I am denied alcohol. Even when it is me who is the one keeping it out of the house. I turn these emotions on others which is totally unfair. After the anger goes away, in comes the boredom. What does one do all night when they are not drinking??? Trust me, these are all feelings we face from time to time. Although we face them alone, it's nice to know that there are others out there with whom we can share our thoughts in places like this, right?
Hugs to all!!!!

[adaptable]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Gitawine, thanks for staring this thread, it's great. I can so relate to all the posts here. I'm also a fun drunk and very lovable. Day 16 AF and I don't feel lovable at all and my hubby really misses me. But I want my health back but this is no fun at all. I'm pulling my hair out most days, crying a lot and wondering if I'm ever going to have any fun again. I'm loosing weight though and that's a good thing, but it sure sucks to still wake up with headaches. Thank you all for your posts, it just gives me so much strength to go through the day. Bless you all.

[louise]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Adaptable - good for you hanging in there, I need everyones strength too. Here I thought I'd start feeling healthy but yesterday was day 5 AF and I had the worst headache I've had in years all day. A bit better today though. Did the hypno first thing when I woke up so there is the suggestion I'm healthy and feel great. Body will start cooperating and going along with this soon, right? Otherwise, due to the intestinal reaction to the vitamins I'm having, I will have to change my name to old fart. Hubby out of town untill Sat night so is not yet missing the old me.

[buffy]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Thats funny Louise....Old Fart...would be a really original name...haha

[Guest]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

gitawine...first of all, there is no inappropariate response on here..unless you out and out cuss some one out intentionally....which I don't think you did...post away!!!! We all do. I post like amad woman when I crave...might not even make sense, but they put up with me! Lushy is right! That is what these threads are for. Use them... The sudden urges will get better...I don't know when and if they ever go away because I am still new too, but it is getting easier....so lets hope it gets easier and easier til they are gone!

[hereatlast]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

me too me too
all of the above i feel lonely without my friend alcohol, i feel i am a boring person without it and my hubby likes a drink in fact i blame a glass or two on him forgetting the bath was running last night (see my other post!!)
but i do like the way i feel without alcohol during the day i,m torn between moderating and staying af i know the right thing to do but will i do it i just dont know a thread like this makes me appreciate this site so much where elsse would people understand how we feel thanks gita for this

[WilliamTheFree]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Good way to put it I guess....our old "Companion" the bottle...but for most of us it is a companion we could usually do without....at least MOST of the time...

YES...I do miss my old "companion" but my "companion" really kind of ran my life and made me MISS a lot of good things in my life and a lot of good years so my "companion" was not really a GOOD companion....

Will I ever again spend some time with this companion?...probably so...but controlled time...I can't afford to let this old companion to control me again...I so regret the years I wasted....being the brunt of family jokes...being the family lush....

No...though I may crave the companionship I can no longer give in to it and thanks to this program I am empowered to slay this dragon.

[momof3]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Hi, Yes, I can relate to all that's been said. It's so interesting that we think that without alcohol, life is "boring" when in reality, it is probably "normal." But it feels so boring, sometimes, doesn't it. I think we alcoholics crave a little drama in our lives.

[gitawine]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Momof3--I think maybe you're right, maybe we do crave a bit of drama...even though alcohol is actually a downer, when the first part of a buzz hits, everything seems heightened, more enjoyable, more exciting...more NOT BORING.
I've been going to town in my garden cuz it's the only thing I can think of to do in the evenings.
The nicer the weather gets, the more I feel like I should have my friend over for a little R&R in the sun...
Oh and whoever posted earlier about the Post "Voddy" on the abstainers thread, it really was great, thanks for mentioning it.

[imatree]

Craving the Companionship of the Bottle

Hi friends,
I want to share this with you...
As I've said in other posts, my partner is a heavy drinker, and I've worried about how hard it will be for me to abstain when there is always booze in the house. But he has been doing some work - he sent me an email this morning saying that he thinks he is over the mental/spiritual/emotional addiction to alcohol and will now work to conquer the physical addiction.
And this line he wrote reminded me of this thread, about our buddy the bottle...

"What alcohol was for me was an automatic way of being happy or being insightful or funny or brave. But now I know I have all that."

I love him so! I suppose a lot of the work is to know we have all the charm, humor, etc inside us all the time, and it us an illusion that we need alcohol to bring it out.