Back and in shame

[momofthree]

..deleted

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

How could I do this? Has it taken me over so much that I allowed this to happen, that I allowed it to put people in danger, people I love. Fuck, I just read about someone stopping drinking and how it changed them and what it has done, I want this to be me. I am tired of letting it ruin and destroy my life. I am so done, just done.

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

I am just going to remove this whole post. I cant even bare to look at it and keep reading it I feel so horrible.

[SoberSoul]

Back and in shame

MomofThree, please come back. I have broken my abstinence promise hundreds of times and the thing we all do is hide and that's so counter-productive. Come back and start fresh. We can beat this together!!

[Kradle123]

Back and in shame

We'll said SS. That's exactly what we do...
MO3, we're still here for you....always will be.:l:h

[NoSugar]

Back and in shame

Why did you delete your post? It sounded to me like you really need to do this NOW. I hope you come back and get the support we all need to do this. Let me know if there is any way I can help you. It is worth whatever it takes and not as hard as you think. :l

[Pavati]

Back and in shame

There's no shame in coming back, Mo3! We're here to help and support, and we've all had a few day 1s.

signed a mom of 2

[frances]

Back and in shame

Don't be ashamed - this has happened to so many of us. Jump back in!

[j-vo]

Back and in shame

MO3,
Please come back so we can work through this with you. We all need support and that's why this site is here.

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

Thanks everyone, I do need to do this now. No more trying or giving it another shot. I've been so stressed out lately with everything and I don't get many breaks and I've been self medicating far too much that's its become a very bad habit, I actually drove yesterday, I've never done that before. To be so reckless and thoughtless. I put myself and others in danger, I will never do something so foolish again. What if something happened? I would never be able to live with myself.

[j-vo]

Back and in shame

Glad you're here MO3! Stay close. And I know what it feels like to put yourself and others in danger. Very scary. Sometimes it takes something of this magnitude to learn to be completely honest with ourselves. Alcohol is an addiction for most of us. It starts as a habit, but from there, it becomes a need.

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

I am just so thankful nothing happened, I keep thinking that, it's all I've been able to think about all day. The what if? If anything would have happened my life would have been over as I knew it because I wouldn't be able to go a day knowing it was me that caused it.

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

Thank you all for your responses, I need support so much right now. I feel like I'm sinking at times. I need to make a major life style change and learn how to live without alcohol in my life.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Back and in shame

Mom of Three-

Deep breaths. Did you make a mistake? Yes. We don't need the details.
Now what? YOU know what needs to be done. We can all give you our advice, but this is ultimately your decision.

I encourage you to go to Women For Sobriety and read the affirmations, written by people like you and me. The very first one: "I have a life threatening problem that once had me" truly resonates in my soul. No matter how I want to wish it away, I cannot drink alcohol anymore. I cannot "moderate"- I've tried. I've had countless long nights that I don't remember, broken promises, disappointed faces (if I bothered to look)... BUT.
That is my past. Now, I must look forward. I forgive myself, and know that I cannot whitewash my alcohol addiction. I am a role model for my children, whether I'm a drunk, or a happy, laughing mom. I'm trying to be the mom that is funny and optimistic and ready for anything.

I don't have a pocketful of excuses anymore, as to why I couldn't drive at night. (The truth? I wanted to drink. What did I tell my kids? "I'm tired. My night vision is bad.") My kids are smart: I didn't fool them.

Mom of three, today can be the day, your "AHA" moment- your line of demarcation. But truly, you MUST decide.
And then the next thing you must do is forgive yourself. :l

WFS ?New Life? Acceptance Program | Women for Sobriety, Inc.

:groupluv:

[NoSugar]

Back and in shame

I'm so glad you are going to stick with us! Do you have a plan for today?

Please let this be your "bottom". xx, NS