Back and in shame

[bkyogagurl]

Back and in shame

Mom-

Understand your anxiety and sadness. But nothing did happen and you can be happy it didn't.
For me when I would do things I didn't like or approve of... I would make myself crazy rethinking it. This in turn would cause another anxiety and then I would spiral into a self loathing mess...
I know it's hard but please don't do this. Be kind to yourself.

You are a good lady.. You have some stuff to sort out. Soooo let's sort it out.

[narilly]

Back and in shame

MO3, keep coming back to us, we all have done things when we were drinking that we totally regret. Time to go forward and kick this thing in the Ass.

One thing that REALLY helped me was listening to the Bubble Hour podcasts. These are done by a group of mom's that struggle with AL. They share their stories and their strategies for keeping sober. There are so many things that they talk about regarding Alcohol, something might resonate with you there.
The Bubble Hour

NS, shared it with me and I will be forever grateful. I am a mom too, I have 2 children and I know how it sucks to try and fight this addiction.

XO

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

Thank you, I will definitely check that out.
Yogagurl - You couldn't be more right, I keep going over and over and over it again and I am driving myself crazy about it.
Today I am taking it easy, I didn't even bother to do any housework or anything. I've got the BBQ going and I made some juice and stocked the fridge with cold water. I'm going to snuggle in tonight and watch a movie with my husband, I didn't make any extra stops for more booze. I didn't have any desire to after yesterday. I know it will sneak up again on me and I have got to realize that I can't drink, I cant have just one and that these are just thoughts. I don't have to act on every thought I have.
I've been reading a lot of peoples post, and so many things have hit home, the feelings you go through..everything. And it amazes me and gives me hope that there are people like you guys who come together to help, I'm very thankful I found this place. Thank you, all of you.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Back and in shame

Mom, send your husband out to get some ice cream. I have no idea why it is so magical, but our intake of ice cream has definitely increased since March.

:groupluv: This is your thread. Come back and post whenever you need to. You aren't alone. I wish I would have done this at 41 versus 49.... but no more looking backwards. :l Patty

[bkyogagurl]

Back and in shame

Totally agree with Patty.. This is your thread and no matter what posting you feelings will help... No matter what you do. Ok? We love ya.
And of course ice cream!!

[available]

Back and in shame

mom, i got sick of hitting the repeat button and at the end of the day you need all the grit, strength and determination that you have to tell al to pee off. MWO is my AA and that means logging on here twice a day to read and post and be accountable, i could not have gotten to where i am without the support and strength of here.

Believe us all here, its so worth getting rid of al, hard as it is at first, it does get easier and life is so much better.

Keep on here, there is so much support

[Pavati]

Back and in shame

Mo3 - so glad you're here!

I highly recommend the Bubble Hour that Narilly linked. Try the one with Dr. Kelly as a guest, or the one about the high functioning alcoholic. There is also one about the early days of recovery but I haven't read that yet.

It boils down to this - accepting that I am an alcoholic (What? Who? ME?) is ultimately the most liberating thing I have done. I still struggle with the stigma, the shame, the longing - but I don't struggle with myself any more. I don't drink. Phew.

Hang tight, keep reading, and make a deal with yourself to post BEFORE you want to drink next time. I recommend the Newbies Nest as there is more traffic there and someone might answer more quickly.

Pav

[narilly]

Back and in shame

MO3, keep coming back. Like Pav says, post BEFORE you want to drink next time. Check out the tool box. That is good too.
Nar

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

Thanks everyone so much, I am on my Day 3 now. The last two days were easy really not to drink, still hanging onto guilt from Friday. I woke up this morning with the thoughts that just because I'm alone and no one will possibly find out doesn't mean I can drink, and I don't want too. I don't do it anymore because I enjoy the taste, it's just to escape what ever stress I'm feeling, and everyone has stress in their life. Alcohol has defientely lost the sparkle, it's not my friend and I do things I would never do if I wasn't drinking. Today I'm going to load up on more good food, starting juicing again to get my nutrients up and just do whatever around the house. If I do start thinking about drinking again I will be logging back on for sure to talk through it...thank you all so much.

[frances]

Back and in shame

Good for you momofthree - you are doing the right things. Make sure you have a plan for how you will handle the cravings when they come - what will you do? I always told myself "I'm not going to drink because I DON'T drink" and reminded myself why I wanted to stop. Also made myself a cup of tea to have instead, or some seltzer with cranberry juice. Frequently a bowl of ice cream. the craving went away after a short time and I was good to go for the time being. And of course reading and posting here has helped me tremendously.

3 days is great! Keep it up!

[momofthree]

Back and in shame

Thank you frances ). I've been telling myself I am a non-drinker now, but I know the cravings will hit me strong soon. Tea is a great idea, I'm a coffee drinker myself but I do like fruit and mint teas. Food is always a good one, I love to cook and bake so maybe I'll eat and do that instead. I figure with all the calories in alcohol I'm trading bad ones for good, even if it is a cheeseburger on the BBQ now and then.

[frances]

Back and in shame

Yes, that is exactly how I feel - I am eating things I didn't usually eat when I was drinking but I'm definitely trading A LOT of calories now that I'm not drinking so it seems to be evening out - I have even lost a few pounds. What matters now most is staying AF so treat yourself food-wise!

I don't like 'regular' tea much myself - am drinking lots of fruit herbals - recently tried Tazo Sweet Orange and like that one a lot!