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    #1

    The Slippery Slope

    HELP!! My foot is mired in the slippery slope . . . . I have just had two nights of 3 drinks a piece. Not a huge amount. . . not out of control you would say. But beyond what I have tried to control. I can feel my resolve slipping away in a sea of self disgust. Have I absolutely no will power? I initially signed on for 40 then 30 days abstinence. I have managed to string together 2 or 3 AF days at a time. I am incapable of keeping any resolutions related to alcohol. It is not really the physical craving that gets me. I read the book. I am doing the sups (not yet L-glut I just got that). I am scared of the Topa and my life is too harried at the moment to do the tapes. It is more a boredom or an ache to relax. I am making myself be honest to the drink tracker. In the past before MWO I would keep track of my drinking for a few days and then if I slipped at all stop writing. You can rationalize better if it is not in black and white. The weekend looms large. I have Bunco tonight - a mindless dice game with girlfriends that has been nicknamed Drunco for all the wine that is served- and a cookout on Saturday. I really want to regroup before my daughter's graduation in a few weeks. Any sage advice? HELP! You abstainers were you able to abstain right away. Did you have false starts?
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    #2
    The Slippery Slope

    Hi Evergreen,
    I am new to this site, my first post today and am waiting for my starter pack to arrive but I am not new to trying to gain control of this awful desire to drink myself stupid. I think you are being to hard on yourself, for what its worth. You shouldn't be treating yourself with self disgust, you should try to be proud of the fact that you restricted it two 3! I have been told in the past when trying to seek help that it is not helpful to beat yourself up so badly, hating yourself only makes you so low that you want to drink even more! I need to take my own advice I know, but I just wanted to say that you should be a little kinder to yourself. No amazingly helpful advice as I am just starting out again along this road, but I do feel more positive than ever before having found this site and with a plan to work to. Good luck and try to think of at least 3 things to tell yourself that you can feel good about.
    Rosie

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      #3
      The Slippery Slope

      If you do some reading on this site you will see that most want to do moderation but the success rate for mods seems lower than abstinence. Though there are those people who succeeded (see long term mods section) and I would love to achieve what they have achieve!

      If I were you, I would skip the drunko night. Make up some excuse. At the barbecue, bring some nice nonalcoholic drinks, including nonalcoholic beer, and get some support from a family member to help you avoid drinking that day.

      Try to be kind with yourself about failing goals. I learned early about the disappointment of failure, so for a long time I just came to the site and educated myself, with a few AF days here and there.

      This month I dared to try the 30 days challenge with other new people (see newbies in need threads). I did well for some days, then flopped a few days. I had fully intended to make the month alcohol free. But I did seem to stop the old drinking alone at home habit, which I think is horrible! If something doesn't work, try something else. Always move positively toward your goal. Realize you have a problem and you sound like you desperately want to change, you just need to work out how.

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        #4
        The Slippery Slope

        I everyone as false starts, I certainly have. I guess one day the switch flipped, I mean I know I'm not invulnerable but alcohol just isn't an option, no matter what. and I say that when the emotional, brain chatter starts up. The trick, I think, is actually not listening to yourself for awhile and not drinking till your head begins to clear and you get some of your emotional strength back. i think there is a difference between will power and a mindset;you have it in your mind that drinking is doing you more harm than good and you are not going down that road anymore. ---I think I'm saying that for me as well right now. Takes patience and a little bit releasing the 'instant gratification.'

        Take Good Care
        Padme

        AF 21, March 2010

        "First say to yourself what 
you would be; and then do 
what you have to do."
-Epictetus

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          #5
          The Slippery Slope

          I was'nt doing the tapes either at 1st but they don't take that much time after the 1st day of 2. I just listen to the subliminal in the car, while on here, cooking, etc. After the initial hypno, it is only 20 min and not daily. I do before bed or 1st thing in morning. 3 drinks is not bad - especially if interspersed with days of AF. The L-glut helps. Hang in there.

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            #6
            The Slippery Slope

            I am a newbie too, and I have not been able to string more than 2 days together without drinking. I have signed up for the material,but haven't received it yet. I agree, that if I beat myself down with guilt, I tend to drink more not less! I am so sad and frustated!

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              #7
              The Slippery Slope

              false starts!

              :new: :upset:
              I am sad and frustrated with myself! I know I am out of control,but each day the urge to drink doesn't get any better! HELP!

              Comment

                #8
                The Slippery Slope

                Hey soloman!

                Try not to be so hard on yourself. You said you haven't received your materials. Once you read the book and start the supps I am betting things will get easier. Until then keep trying, keep reading and keep posting!

                Comment

                  #9
                  The Slippery Slope

                  Hi Evergreen and Soloman!!:l

                  I have been trying to moderate/abstain....HELL...just control in some way, my alcohol intake seriously for the last 18 years....I had been drinking heavily before that but stopped for 9 months when I was pregnant and so thought that meant that I didn't have a problem???

                  This is the FIRST time I have ever had any degree of success....I joined MWO on 7th December 2006, and have been AF ever since.
                  It still seems like a miracle to me...that is not to say by any stretch of the imagination that it has been easy...but I have more tools now....
                  The BEST thing I did, was to READ the boards...especially the long term abs boards, there were a number of posts there that really helped me to think about drinking in a different way, and with the help of the supps and the meds that I took initially, I was able to really stick to my plan.

                  Go and have a read ......there is a good post by MikeupNorth on Boredom, if you look through this sections history....also, have a look at the thread called 'first xmas party hurdle' by stollies....Mike puts in a post about his 'two drinking paths' which I found immensely helpful when I started

                  For me...I had to change the way I thought about alcohol before the supps, meds or cds would have been able to help......I had to realise that if I was to abstain from alcohol, then that is what I was going to have to do!! Sounds weird, but before, I always thought that I would stop drinking unless...........................
                  (Insert your own trigger here)
                  1) It was Friday night (or indeed any night really)
                  2) I had had a crappy day at work
                  3) I was celebrating a good day at work
                  4) I was bored
                  5) I was happy
                  6) I was stressed
                  7) It was a party
                  8) Blah, blah, blaaaahhhhhhh....etc, etc

                  Now, I tell myself everyday that I will NOT drink...there is no 'reason' to drink.
                  I also am teaching my brain to get out of the trap of thinking that alcohol is a reward or comforter, and that my life will be empty without it. Booze makes me ill, will kill me, turns me into an absolute psycopath, breaks down my relationship with everyone I love, makes me lose interest in anything else in life....
                  Now....how on earth is that something that I am 'giving up'???? It is surely something that I should glad to be rid of......and I am!! Every day....EVERY day, when I wake....I hug myself that it is with a clear head and no sense of shame or guilt....
                  My life is often 'dull', I work long hours and do precious little during the week apart from work, chores and sleep............BUT..........I do them sober, I have no hangover, I can look everyone in the eye, I do not have to wolf down 2 packs of mints before I dare talk to anyone lest they smell stale booze on my breath.......I am content:h
                  I LIKE MYSELF!!!!!!!!

                  Whatever your plan is for the future....you will have up and down days, but you will have a sense of self worth and pride.......believe me...it really takes the place of feeling p*ssed as an ultimate high....Read, read, read....get your head into a good place, and use the meds and supps to help your resolve along.......

                  Wishing you health and happiness Evergreen.....and a calm and peaceful mind
                  Weemelon xxx

                  Comment

                    #10
                    The Slippery Slope

                    Thanks Weemelon.....that was amazing. I needed to read that this Friday evening...I am going to make a point of reading those long term abs posts too. I haven't done that yet. Good luck Soloman....and welcome. Buffy

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                      #11
                      The Slippery Slope

                      Weemelon, you say it so well .....
                      I cant follow that other than to say welcome Evergreen...... you have found the best place ever ...

                      BB xxxx
                      sigpicXXX

                      Comment

                        #12
                        The Slippery Slope

                        Solomon, it does get better, once you receive you book and try to practice the advice
                        it's amazing.I thought i was a lost cause but once i got the mwo programme, my life has
                        completely changed,i have'nt had a drink for 3 months.
                        Good luck. Welcome Buffy.
                        .

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                          #13
                          The Slippery Slope

                          Hey guys, I am on day 7 now and at first I said," I don't think I can". I read alot of other posts from people that said the same thing about not being strong enough or saying that they "can't." I'm not saying that I have this licked or anything, but that word "can't", is one of the reasons I decided "I can". I told myself if a beverage has that type of power over me, I better think long and hard about putting it in my system...there are very few things I want to say I can't do if I put my mind to. I am at war with wine right now......Buffy

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                            #14
                            The Slippery Slope

                            What a great post Weemelonhead ! It said it all!!!

                            All I can say is welcome Evergreen and Buffy. Failure is not a part of this program. There are slips and there are mistakes and there are nights with too many drinks, but never failures. Success is to just keep coming here and keep working and trying. This is a long hard process that never really ends but does get easier with time. Things will not happen overnight, despite all the meds and supps. But they will happen if you just keep posting and keep dragging your little butts onto this site everyday!
                            :welcome:
                            Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              The Slippery Slope

                              Thank you all for the sage advice and more importantly the encouragement. I did go to
                              Bunco last night. These ladies are hard to make excuses to and noone including my family knows that I am working on this. I went fearful that I would overindulge but found that I almost did not even want what I drank. The little voices in my head were coaxing me all day for one last blow out. I drank 2 1/2 maybe 3 glasses of wine and switched to iced tea. More than I would like to say I drank but definitely going in the right direction. Baby steps!!! At any rate, many thanks all!!

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