Realizing I have a problem - wanting to do something about it

[Arjae_chetz]

Hi everyone,

I stumbled upon this forum as I recently hit my bottom I guess. I hurt the one I love the most because I got blackout drunk with a coworker and didn't stop her sexual advances in time. Making out occurred, and that's where I stopped it.

I am not the kind of person to hide/be dishonest, etc. I told my girlfriend soon after. She needs time to think, but isn't saying goodbye yet. If she does, I don't blame her either. What I did is inexcusable, and while a sober me wouldn't have ever allowed what happened to happen, it did in fact happen.

She confessed that she had been concerned with my drinking for a bit, and just didn't know if it were her place to tell me about it.

While I'm really sad right now, I see the situation as it is, with no sugar coating. I want to do something about it, and I'm day 4 of AF. It hasn't been that hard really. I think I'd like to work on moderation eventually, but right now, till things are settled one way or another with her, I'd like to abstain.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting here, but here I am. Thanks for listening.

[K9Lover]

Realizing I have a problem - wanting to do something about it

Welcome Arjae!

We have ALL done things drunk that we hugely regret sober. You've found a great place to be. You should check out the Newbies Nest, there are people there in all stages of their quit. I'm glad you've found us and I hope to get to know you better!

K9

[narilly]

Realizing I have a problem - wanting to do something about it

Welcome Arjae! Hey, it is amazing the things that we do when we are drinking. It is so easy to get into trouble when you have too many drinks.
Stick around, do some reading here. We are a very supportive group.

I started realizing I had a problem when I was around 36 years old although the signs had been there since I was a teen. I have tried to moderate over and over. Drink less, drink different drinks, don't drink before supper, only have one (right!), only drink on the weekend....
Finally, now I am 50 and I am DONE drinking. I am not saying this is the route you will take but once we have trouble with AL, we have trouble with AL.

Keep on talking to us!

[meshellrn]

Realizing I have a problem - wanting to do something about it

Hi Argae,

Welcome. you have got to day 4 already af. That is super. Post each day on the Newbiest nest roll call. you just copy and paste the last one you see and add your name and day of not drinking. It kind of feels like we are all in this together!! Also, i post on Drink tracker. It is down below on the main screen. you can log how many days and how many drinks and keep it real for your self. you can do it. I had to join AA but i love this site too. best of luck to you.

meshellrn

[Arjae_chetz]

Realizing I have a problem - wanting to do something about it

Thanks everyone for the welcomes. I'm doing some online counseling today. I was wondering if someone with experience of drunk infidelity and making it work could PM me? I really don't know what to do. I'm happy to skype as well.

I will post in the newbie roll call. I've dumped out the beer I've had in the fridge and looking forward to the new me. I just hope this relationship can be salvaged in the process. Thanks again.

[narilly]

Realizing I have a problem - wanting to do something about it

Arjae, I have a feeling that this is a first step in a lot of steps you will have to take.
First, you have to take care of yourself and your drinking, this will go a long way in repairing your relationship.
We have all had experiences in our relationships caused by drinking. Infidelity is an easy companion to someone who is drunk.
Its good that you came clean with your partner, that was a positive step for sure. Just keep communicating with her and keep sober. Come back to MWO and post, read the tool box. We have lots of experience here with relationships and drinking.