I need to quit drinking

[Knitty]

Hello. I need to quit drinking. I need to stop this daily cycle of self-destruction. I obsess about my health all day while I am supposed to be working, trying to eat really healthy food, and then I drink all evening. Where is the logic in that? I am 53 and drink a bottle of wine every night. I am fed up of feeling sick and depressed, of being a recluse (I work from home so that doesn't help), of not following through on my family/work commitments, of wasting hours and hours each day worrying what I am doing to my body.

I have tried umpteen times to quit by myself and have failed umpteen times. I usually decide to quit but then a few hours later I seem to need something from the store and end up buying a bottle of wine, a scenario that is repeated over and over again each time I decide to quit. I feel such a failure. I have been lurking here on and off since about 2006. That in itself is a long time but I had been drinking daily but to a lesser degree for many years before that. I am shy, introverted, hopeless with small talk, and I have been worried about my ability to interact with others online which is why I keep putting off posting, but I realize now that I cannot do this alone. I hope that being accountable and actively participating with others will help me succeed, and perhaps one day I will be in a position to help someone else too.

I will not drink wine tonight. I have tried tapering with wine many times and it does not work for me, so I will taper with my husband's beer for the rest of this week while making a plan (I'm not really keen on beer so will be ok with that) and then become AF starting Monday.

[paulywogg]

I need to quit drinking

Welcome to mwo Knitty,it is a vicious cycle isn't it?glad you're ready to kick it out of your life

[Byrdlady]

I need to quit drinking

Welcome to the boards, Knitty! I could have written that post. We have many similarities! I let the fear of quitting stop me for years, it finally came to a point it had to stop. We can sure help you, come on over to the Newbie's nest, we have folks in all stages of quitting, link is below. Also see the Tool box, it is full of valuable tips and coping skills to help you. I know when I was faced with quitting I was scared. Scared of what a life without my crutch would be like. I am here to tell you it is WONDERFUL! My biggest regret is that I didnt so it sooner! See you over in the nest, we have lots of success there! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

I need to quit drinking

Welcome, Knitty. In many ways our stories are similar. If it helps, someone much like you has done it! I no longer am on that exhausting merry-go-round that was not at all fun and made me sick. And worry. And hate myself. You can get off, too.

Most people can go cold turkey at that level of drinking. You might be surprised how much your addicted brain will come to like beer if you deprive it of wine. If you're drinking now, pour the rest out. Be done with this madness!

Have you read the toolbox? It is full of ideas. You might also want to hop over to the a Newbies Nest and introduce yourself. Both links are below.

Glad you decided to join and post! It made all the difference for me.

:welcome::welcome::welcome:

[NoSugar]

I need to quit drinking

Just saw your post, Byrdie - maybe we're triplets!

[Byrdlady]

I need to quit drinking

Yes, NoSugar, so many stories are the same! Great advice! :H:H:H

[MossRose]

I need to quit drinking

Hi Knitty and welcome. I totally understand. I lurked for years before I finally posted. MWO saved my life. I love wine too. Well, I used to love it until it cost me everything. You mentioned a husband, so I assume you still have a family. Please be smarter than me. Stop before you lose everything.

I don't want to be negative, but I've been there. So lean on us, and hang in there. You can do this. xx

[bkyogagurl]

I need to quit drinking

Hi Knitty-

Lots of good people here as you can see....

Just keep trying is what I say.. And you coming here and posting is a good first step to figuring things out.

take care of you..

[Ginger999]

I need to quit drinking

Welcome Knitty! Glad you decided to stop lurking and join. We are all in the same boat just in different depths of water (or in our case booze). This is the place to be. Also check out the discussion called: Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?. SoberSoul started that and she's got great insight! Hope to see you around often and feel free to private message me if you want to talk one on one. Our stories are very similar.

ps.... I tried to taper off by switching to beer too. It didn't work for me. I just switched to beer as my nightly brew.

[frances]

I need to quit drinking

:welcome: So glad you have made this decision - you will not regret it!

[TJAF]

I need to quit drinking

Welcome Knitty

You don't need to be shy around this group. You'll find that they are non-judgmental and a great means of support. No matter how unique you may feel your situation to be, you'll find someone here that has gone through exactly that scenario.

I was a heavy drinker, it was nothing for me to kill a fifth of vodka a night. Tried a hundred times to quit and it wasn't until I found this site that I was able to make it stick. There is something about being able to talk things through with like minded people, it was something that even by close family couldn't provide. I'm now closing in on a year AF and believe me, if I can do that you can too.

Keep posting you wont regret it.

[treetops]

I need to quit drinking

Welcome kitty :welcome: I don't understand why you feel the need to taper. At that level it should not be a physical issue more one of dependence, habit and you will feel tired, irritable etc. If you want to quit you need to stop drinking AL and don't bother switching to beer as the temptation to start a new routine is there. Just be prepared for it being uncomfortable and what you need is support so we are here for that.

[Knitty]

I need to quit drinking

Thank you Byrdlady, Paulywogg, Nosugar, MossRose, bkyogagurl, Ginger, Frances, TJAF, and treetops so much for your encouragement, advice, and welcome. I know that I have done the right thing joining you all at MWO, but I'm a bit overwhelmed at the anxiety I felt, and still feel, from posting. I know it will get easier for me but right now it is exhausting. I sometimes wonder how I got to this stage where I feel so mentally and emotionally weak, paralyzed, with no self-confidence whatsoever. I think the wine has affected my brain. Time to heal now. Thank you for the links to the Toolbox and Newbies Nest. I will spend lots of time reading over the next few days.

I have been using wine for ages to deal with stress/anxiety in the evenings and just lately it has been taking a little more than my usual bottle of wine to quell the anxiety, hence my need to stop before the amount keeps escalating. I'm not worried about seizures or anything like that, just trying to lessen the anxiety for a few days while I put my plan in place and also hoping that by decreasing slowly my body would slowly get used to the anxiety without having full-blown panic attacks. Last night I had 2-1/2 beers (couldn't stomach any more - so filling) and that last half seemed to take the edge off just enough for me to manage until bedtime, but then my husband came home from a late meeting (he has a type-A personality, very energetic/hyper) and my youngest son (he is 23 and does not live with us anymore) phoned with a problem which my husband reacted badly to, and my anxiety became so suffocating that I had to go outside on the back deck to be able to breathe. This was nothing major, just normal day-to-day stuff that I should be able to handle. I didn't drink any more, but I spent the rest of the night awake in bed with crazy anxiety, controlling my breathing, until about 5:30 a.m. when I finally fell asleep.

I have had the same routine for years so I think changing everything topsy-turvy about my routine will help me succeed (especially no more drinking wine while cooking), and I need to solve this anxiety problem. I am too scared to take prescription pills but I'm okay with vitamins so I have bought some books that might give information on that. I have already started taking vitamin C and B complex as well as a multi and I added L-glutamine, but something is upsetting my stomach so I will need to tweak things a bit. I have just bought my first smart phone as I think I can use some tools on that to help me. I will put on calming music, reminders/encouragement, and use the fitness app to get me out of the house and walking my dog again…need to download the manual and figure out how to use everything on the phone first though. Oh, and I am going to stop coffee as well and drink tea at least temporarily until I can get my anxiety under control. Must get some work done. Will read more later. Thank you all.

[Ginger999]

I need to quit drinking

Hi Knitty, There is a supplement that I take that really helps with anxiety. It's called Gaba. Google it and see if it might be something you'd like to try. Glad you are here!!! Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

[j-vo]

I need to quit drinking

Hi Knitty,
Sooooo glad you decided to post. Lurking and being a part of the community are two different worlds. When you post, you receive the support you need. We all need encouragement, pushed, loved, and sometimes tough-loved. So I hope to see you in the nest. Lots of great people and the AF days people are building up one day at a time are impressive!