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First Day

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    First Day

    I found this site today having made a decision this morning to stop drinking. Its easy to make that decision today because I'm feeling lousy having drank too much last night but I am looking for support to stay stopped.

    I would not consider myself an alcoholic but I think I have the potential to be one. I have been down this road before and I did not drink at all for three years. I went to AA meeings however I could not identify with other members so I decided to stop going to meetings.

    Today, I realised why I made the decision to stop drinking before and why I need to do it again. I haven't drank alot over the past few years but I am starting to drink more and more over time. I used to just drink one bottle of wine on a Friday night, that went to two bottles of wine a week and last week I've drank four. I made a decision not to drink during the week a couple of weeks ago because I was going into work a little under the weather, but I broke my promise to myself within two days.

    I wake up very early in the morning after drinking a bottle of wine, I dont sleep well after drink. My emotions are all over the place and I created lots of drama this week. My boyfriend wants to leave me because I my crazy behavour.

    Tonight I feel lonely, desperate, fearful and my nerves are shattered. I know that not drinking alcohol is not going to fix all my problems but I am not dealing with issues rationally and I wonder is alcohol causing my emotions to be out of control

    I

    #2
    First Day

    Hi Maria and welcome to the best place in the cyber world to help you stop drinking.

    I was an occasional drinker and then it snowballed until i drank 2 bottles a night, 7 days a week, 52 weeks of the year for the past 10+ years. No i have been af since 1st december 13 and could not have done it without MWO. This is my AA, these people are non judgemental and are always here to help and advise.

    Head over to the Newbies Nest and make yourself known.

    Today i wake everyday without a hangover, anxiety, depression and remembering what i did the night before. Life is great and due to my determination and due to the support of here.

    best of luck.
    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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      #3
      First Day

      Thank you Available and Mollyka.

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        #4
        First Day

        Hi Maria,
        Glad you found MWO. Whatever the definition for Alcoholic is, it really doesn't matter. If it creates enough crap for us and our lives, then it's a problem. And the problem doesn't magically disappear like we'd like, especially if we try to control it. It just continues to grow bigger and bigger until we are at a point in our lives that we've lost the drive, motivation, appreciation for life, and respect of ourselves. But it doesn't have to be that way.

        I also went to AA years ago, and it wasn't a good fit for me. For others, it works. What worked for me was this site. Coming here, at least twice daily, reading everything I could read, taking advice of those that were successful, and never believing that I could moderate, rather acceptance that I couldn't moderate was key for me. Check out the toolbox and Newbie's Nest in my signature below. That's where a lot of successful people hang out and provide encouraging words and support. Hope to see you there.
        Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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          #5
          First Day

          I could not relate to AA as well. The God stuff, people telling stories about how they lost everything (I still had most of it), overall gloom, overall lack of optimism (you are always an alcoholic, you have a disease, you are a gene, it's dangerous to go cold turkey)

          Here I found wisdom, support, practical advice and most importantly accountability. You mentioned in your post that you are not an alcoholic. Well whether you are or not who cares. No one will brand you here. Here we are for recovery and getting rid of problem. The first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem. Once you admit that there is a problem, and problem is Alcohol then you can call it what ever you want.

          FAct of the matter is in this perfect world made by GOD, man created alcohol and many other drugs. Yes alcohol is a drug and not a beverage as we many have been conditioned to believe. And drug like tobacco, Meth, cocaine etc all have one nature - additive. There are people doing studies why people becoming addicted and by few don't to alcohol. What's the point you ask the same people is alcohol a drug ... They themselves will say yes... So why find reasons for "addiction" when drug is the cause.

          Changing attitude towards alcohol has been important for me. How I view it. Not as something which brings, pleasure, helps me party etc etc.

          You will get all support here ... Come to nest as I see you have already been, post daily on roll call which will make you accountable. And read, watch you tube videos. Also read wonderful posts in toolbox.

          Take care
          Rahul
          --------------------------------------------
          Rewiring my brain ... done ...
          Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
          Rebooting ... done ...
          Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

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