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The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

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    #1

    The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

    I am going to post some thoughts over the coming weeks of my sober journey. I think I am at about 1.4 years sober and those that know me will know I am honest and blunt sometimes to the offence of others. So if you are fragile or early in your quit attempt maybe it best not to read my posts.

    The SECRET to sobriety:

    Are you ready? I'm about to share with you the most highly guarded secret about quitting drinking known to mankind. Rehab centers and recovery institutes don't want me to share this with you because they are afraid they will lose all of their clients and prospective customers. This secret doesn't support the "12 Step" program. Are you ready? Are you sure you are ready for this?

    Here it is........ The secret to sobriety is.....

    DON'T FUCKING DRINK!

    The secret is simple, the application of this secret principle is the tough part.

    I don?t buy into the excuse that alcoholism is a disease and alcoholics should be coddled, understood and forgiven because they have a disease.

    ?Alcoholism isn?t a disease - It?s a choice.? I choose if I want to drink or not. Can I control how much alcohol I will consume once I start drinking? No! It?s alcohol you stupid fucker, it gets you drunk, it makes your thinking patterns get all screwed up, it helps you to make bad decisions, it makes dumb guys seem interesting, it makes fat broads look attractive,,, that?s it?s job, that?s what alcohol is supposed to do. Now that you know what alcohol does, you have to ask yourself if you have a propensity to doing things in excess. Are you prone to overdoing things? Do you have an addictive personality? Well chances are that if you think you drink too much, then you probably do drink too much, and you probably do have an addictive personality. You have to embrace that reality, realize that you shouldn?t drink, not even socially, and start your new sober life NOW!

    This will be the toughest choice you make in your life. It will not be easy. It can be done.
    If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.
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    #2
    The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

    Great post!!! It's a simple concept, all in all. All you gotta do is not drink! Congrats on all your sober time!! Byrdie
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      #3
      The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

      I love it. And I am not offended. I am only powerless once I take that first drink.
      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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        #4
        The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

        Yes I agree but we need to remember that it's just not always that easy for many. I have been sober for a while now and I have the mantra. I don't drink. But I don't want to loose sight of how long and how hard it was for me to get to this. I tried so many times before the last quit.
        That's why we do need to support one another and be empathetic to the dicey road we travel on our way to sobriety.

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          #5
          The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

          Well I did see easily offended ..............so I had to have a look see.

          Lets start with a well done on your year plus AF and now you're living sober........great isn't it.

          I'm coming up 5 years AF (how did that happen ) and for the past 3 years have worked as a volunteer in Drug and Alcohol Misuse. Over those 3 years I've come to see alcoholism as an addiction........just like heroin addiction, meth addiction.............albeit a legal addiction..........we can just buy our drug of choice off the shelves once we hit the legal age.

          Is alcoholism a disease.............I still don't know despite what has been written and what I've read. It has however been recognised by the W.H.O. since the early 90s and American Medical Society since the early 1950s.

          The thing that worries me is that to stop drinking abruptly may cause severe withdrawals causing alcoholic seizures, organ failure and death.
          So I would temper my words with the proviso to seek medical help and not to go cold turkey.

          To be quite honest if joining groups of like minded people like AA, NA (although it Narcotics............alcohol is our drug of choice), talking on a website like this and the many others, baying to the moon once a month or praying to the sea gods helps..................if it helps keep you clean and sober................then do it.

          I use MWO and my volunteer work and now I'm past way past my early days............yes my daily mantra is I DO NOT DRINK.............ever.
          It could be worse, I could be filing.
          AF since 7/7/2009

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            #6
            The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

            you may want to edit that typo JC

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              #7
              The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

              Martye Great post. Yes I do things to excess I over think almost everything and do have an addictive personality (smoked for years). You are right once I REALLY decided I was done I was able to quit just the same as smoking. Been sober for 157 days and I am more than upset with myself for not doing it sooner. Just couldn't seem to make that choice (I guess I thought that I was having fun).

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                #8
                The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                I laughed out loud, Martye, because you did boil it down to the bottom line: PERFECT!

                With that being said, it's much easier said than done. People who haven't struggled with addiction look at you, as if you have 3 eyes on your forehead, when you say that you are "trying" to quit. For like you pointed out... if you don't want to get drunk, don't drink, bonehead! DUH!

                Something in me clicked in February, for before that, I was "moderating", quitting for 30 days at a time, and then flat out partying .... if that's what you call it when you start with Bloody Mary's bright and early on a Saturday morning, lol? The sunny but sad fact is when you are drinking, you can find many comrades in arms that endorse your drinking... for they are doing it too! How many likes can you get for a Bloody Mary picture? 118? Hurrah! Everyone likes my pretty drink with the pickles/olives/celery stick, right? So therefore, I can toast to 118 people! With friends like that, how can I not drink?

                The bottom line is that I needed to stop, for me. Call it a brain game, but I don't celebrate my sobriety as a grand achievement, nor do I count the days. I don't want it to have that control over my new life.

                For all of us, there is some moment in our history where we define ourselves, and an "AHA" moment happens- with a "before" and an "after". Some are tragic moments, like "before I had a stroke", or joyous ones, like, "after I had children". There were times in my life that SHOULD have changed my behavior, but alcohol was either not as intrusive as it eventually became, or I was blinded by it's mystique.

                I digress. I am now living in the "after" life, where I've                 chosen not to drink. I don't need to check in here to promote my sobriety. I'm very fortunate that I don't need to count the days, but if you need to... then do it.

                And in the meantime- laugh. Find the goodness in your life. Look for YOUR "AHA" moment                , so that you can experience your AFTER.

                And don't fucking drink!
                "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
                so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."                 :hug:

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                  #9
                  The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                  I agree -" just don't fucking drink." I also agree that 12-step programs have a dismal failure rate. Totally get it. But I do think there is a bio-chemical reason, not genetic, but alterable through nutrition and lifetstyle, so I must politely disagree with your premise. Yes, I do agree that it is a choice. I choose not to drink. I'm glad you do too.
                  Everything is going to be amazing

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                    #10
                    The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                    NotHappyHourHappyLife;1669142 wrote: I




                    The bottom line is that I needed to stop, for me. Call it a brain game, but I don't celebrate my sobriety as a grand achievement, nor do I count the days. I don't want it to have that control                     over my new life.



                    And don't fucking drink!
                    Well said !! It's nice that you took a difficult concept and boiled it down to something real simple.

                    Good for you.

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                      #11
                      The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                      martye;1668530 wrote:
                      This will be the toughest choice you make in your life.
                      It will not be easy.
                      It can be done.


                      Martye, your post has been ping ponging in my mind all day, because as simple as your advice sounds, my brain started challenging it.

                      If you've ever been to a traditional church, there are often ceremonies where the minister says a prayer, and the congregation responds in unison. SO, for the religious minded people, when your brain starts to tease you with thoughts of alcohol, and when you think: "I deserve one because _____________",
                      Martye has provided the response: "Don't Farking Drink!"

                      "I need one because I just lost my job":

                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      "I deserve one because I was promoted!":
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      "I can't drink hard liquor, maybe I'll try beer?":
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      "I will only drink after 8 pm, and I'll only have one.":
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      "I will only drink on Fridays and Saturdays, and it'll only                       be wine!":
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      "This is a special occasion,                       I can drink tonight.":
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      "I don't want to explain                       to my family, so I'll sip on a beer":
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      "I've proven to myself                       that I can go alcohol free, now should I moderate?":
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"


                      The list goes on and one, and I'm sure that we all have similar excuses to rationalize one drink. The important thing is to keep the door closed. Look forward. Don't let these little voices convince you that you will be better, prettier, funnier, smarter... under the influence of alcohol.
                      "Don't Farking Drink!"
                      "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
                      so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."                       :hug:

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                        #12
                        The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                        Amen!

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                          #13
                          The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                          Feckin' good post !!

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                            #14
                            The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                            I don't farking drink!!! I love it.
                            you could get just as many likes for a pretty virgin mary drink. One of my fav's by the way.
                            No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                              #15
                              The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

                              [SIZE=7I don't Farking Drink![/SIZE]
                              Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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