The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

[j-vo]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

The response is...altogether...

Don't farking drink!!

[Mootsbill]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

Martye, great post but if it's so easy how come you have been on this site for some time and have 'worked' at your quit?
If you spent time in a centre with people with mental problems, people with backgrounds of abuse and other tormenting issues you may see it isn't so easy to stay away from the first drink and therefore kicking off an addiction which can lead to all manner of consequences.
I have a friend who is no way addicted to alcohol she decided she didn't fancy drinking anymore for weight loss and health she hasn't had a drink since Christmas with not so much as a second thought, can we say the same for the folk trying to quit on this site?
I agree though, I don't take a drink one day at a time, but as I'm addicted to being 'high' and always searching for a get of life card (as many addicts) I'm using the 12 steps, this site and other methods to learn to live life on life's terms

[treetops]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

Good post Moots and all the best for your recovery.
I agree that life and dealing with addiction is not a simplistic yes/no response and there are many shades in between.

It's too easy sometimes for those of us who have a decent period of AF time to just say all it takes is saying 'no'. I was a bit like that after c 6 months AF. I now think this yes/no dichotomy is a bit like those non-drinkers who argue that it's just willpower.
I found also Allan Carrs book (also Jason vale) very positive for my mindset in the early days of quitting (Versions of the just say no approach) but now I am less convinced that this works for all. It also doesn't help much with the sad and confusing ways people can relapse after many years of being AF.
I am looking for a more generous way of thinking about recovery that is not focused on extremes but still supports lifelong abstinence.

[martye]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

Mootsbill, how are you? Not once did I say it was easy, quitting any addiction is hard, I abused booze for 15 years and quit and failed on many occasions. I have spent time in centers with people with "mental problems" I was that person with "mental problems" I was that person with "abuse"

I am confused as to what you are trying to say in your post? I did premise the post with dont read if easily offended. What I say is not gospel. I struggle ever day just like the rest, but if my post could help even one person then I am happy I made it.

Mootsbill;1672896 wrote: Martye, great post but if it's so easy how come you have been on this site for some time and have 'worked' at your quit?
If you spent time in a centre with people with mental problems, people with backgrounds of abuse and other tormenting issues you may see it isn't so easy to stay away from the first drink and therefore kicking off an addiction which can lead to all manner of consequences.
I have a friend who is no way addicted to alcohol she decided she didn't fancy drinking anymore for weight loss and health she hasn't had a drink since Christmas with not so much as a second thought, can we say the same for the folk trying to quit on this site?
I agree though, I don't take a drink one day at a time, but as I'm addicted to being 'high' and always searching for a get of life card (as many addicts) I'm using the 12 steps, this site and other methods to learn to live life on life's terms

[Samstone]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

I like it!

[TJAF]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

Martye

I am not easily offended and do appreciate the simplicity of your message. I do disagree regarding the thought that we have a free will when it comes to abusing alcohol. Yes, the drunk gnome isnt physically pouring the stuff down our throats but in my case I can't fathom having a drink without thinking about the next one. It is the way I'm hardwired...has been from the first day I took a sip.

So then what is my point...I think your intention isn't so much a disagreement on the biology of addiction as it is with using addiction as an excuse. If that is the case than I'm right there with you. I look at it not as an excuse to drink rather I look at it as an answer as to why I abused alcohol. Simply saying I don't drink doesn't erase the way my ole brain views booze. Saying it though, reinforces by resolve to not drink, but that isn't the only answer,, for me at least, I have so many other reasons why I don't take that drink other than telling myself I don't drink.

Long and short of it, I disagree with you on the biology of alcoholism but I love your bluntness.

[caysea]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

Hi all
Great post Marty.
Years ago when chat was a valued tool here we came to the same conclusion.
We did also come up with a simple aid to go along with the simplicity of just don't frekin drink

DUCT TAPE. Just put the freakin duct tape across your frekin mouth and

DON'T FREKIN DRINK!!!!!

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF. 5-16-08

[martye]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

I am glad this thread has starting some discission. And some replies have made me consider certain things in different light.

Keep staying strong everyone - Keep on fighting!

TJAF - What a great reply thanks for your thoughts.

[Londoner]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

IMO it seems simple, but it isn't so.

I believe, that a lot of people are drinking to suppress, control or cover up some emotion or memory.

These emotions may be suppressed because they feel unwanted, do not know how to deal with them or some other reason.

Learn to see the process for what it is - what triggers your alcohol intake? And try to deal with that trigger.

It's kind of like people who emotionally eat - although AL is not a required nutrient and it causes far more damage to us and others.

[Samstone]

The SECRET to sobriety (dont read if easily offended)

Interesting, I was rereading a part Of Rational Recovery that seems to address this:
"One persistent beast strategy... experts give the most convincing arguments that addiction has many causes, addiction is a symptom of inner deficiencies (character defects, separation from God,genetic, social background, poverty, dysfunctional families, low self esteem, anger, resentments, etc) and that a recovery program must deal with these issues so that recovering people can cope. They offer their services. Yet ADDICTIVE VOICE RECOGNITION TECHNIQUE insists that addiction has one cause, the addictive voice". Having to learn to cope is actually learning to enjoy yourself without trying to poison yourself... hhhmmm, I think I can do that. Hell yeah I can do it. Paradigm shift!!!
This makes total sense to me. That beast that convinces you of your "need to drink". The voice that tells you how can you enjoy a sunset without a drink or life is so tough I need a drink.

Kinda right back to square one, how to beat it: don't fuckn drink if you want to stop. Stop listening to all the reason why you could and start enjoying that you don't.