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    #1

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    Hi All,
    Today is my fifth day with MWO (I know?5th!) and it seems to be working incredibly well. My goal is moderation. My drinking had been what I felt was normal until 15 months ago when my husband died suddenly. I crashed, burned and then went AF for 5 months, going to AA meetings. This just did not work for me. The meetings only depressed me further and probably in the mental state I was in, I was in no shape to take on another big life change. I tried drinking moderately and have been successful until about three months ago when school let out (I teach and fortunately that keeps me busy and on the right track for part of the year). When summer came I began to have terrible panic attacks and woke up craving a glass of wine to knumb myself. Since MWO, and I have been following it religiously, the cravings seemed to have almost disappeared. I have kept to one maybe two glasses of wine in the evenings without any effort.
    Will this continue? I hope so so much! Also my doctor would only give me 60 topomax 25 mg.
    The hypnotherepy seems to be the most effective tool of all and I have never tried this before.
    Thank you all for being here.
    Thank you Dr. Jewell.
    Any advice greatly appreciated.
    gypsy63
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    #2
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    Hi Gypsy and welcome. First off, regarding the panic attacks, have you seen a psychiatrist? If they are frequent enough to interfere with your basic day-to-day life, medication may help. And I'm sure others will agree that alcohol is a >VERY< temporary solution that only makes anxiety worse in the long run.

    Moderation is not a viable option for many of us on here, but I've read several times in the moderation forum here is that 30 days is a good place to start. If you can genuinely say that alcohol consumption occurs only as a mere afterthought, you may be able to moderate. I would do 30 days all the while looking forward to resuming drinking at the end of it. Clearly, I'm not a candidate for moderation. True moderate drinkers just don't think about alcohol.

    Lastly, did you find a sponsor and work the steps in AA? Because that's where the real work is done. Abstinence became much easier once I took on learning from and listening to an individual that's been exactly where I've been. Going to meetings alone accomplished very little, if anything, for me.

    Best of luck to you and again, welcome.
    In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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      #3
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      Hi Gypsy and welcome.

      As Alky says moderation is not for most of us, i for one can never moderate as i end up drinking the same if not more again. 30 days af is also a great option and then see how you feel. The thing with moderating is basically we have to plan. Plan our next drink, plan when to drink, plan how much to drink and for me i preferred to put in the time and effort into not drinking and there was nothing to plan.

      I cannot comment on AA except i have read that you need to find a meeting that suits you and you feel comfortable with. MWO for me is my AA, i log on here first thing in the morning, i have support people i can email or pm at any time and i make sure i post on here daily to be accountable. I have been sober 7 months now and after the first week or two i have never regretted the decision i have made and the freedom i feel from not drinking.
      AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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        #4
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        Welcome, Gypsy.

        First, big virtual hugs to you... losing your husband suddenly is something I cannot imagine. Do you feel like you have the social structure to manage your todays? Do you have family nearby? While AA isn't your scene, are you willing to seek out counseling to help you with your grief?

        I wish you peace and love... this is your thread, you can write whatever you want on here and we will listen.

        :groupluv:
        "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
        so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."         :hug:

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          #5
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          Hi Gypsy

          I think we often tell ourselves that alcohol can somehow make things better, or that we "deserve" a drink to get through something. I know I did.

          Eventually you realize that it doesn't help. Good for you if you can moderate! I certainly cannot. There is no way I could have 2 glasses of wine. It would be 2 bottles HAHA
          Sucks but it is what it is.

          Hypnosis is an interesting idea. Stick around!

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