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    #1

    Asking for forgiveness...

    I was just wondering what some of you thought in regards to this. When you got sober did you ask some particular people for forgiveness?
    Or did you steer clear for the first little while in fear that what they might say would potentially send you over the deep end...or back to drinking?
    I guess we shouldn't be blaming these people. But ourselves. But when do we stop being so hard on ourselves and move on?
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    #2
    Asking for forgiveness...

    I know AA isn't your scene, but Step Eight entails making "a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all," but is qualified by Step Nine, "make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

    Personally, I've created situations for myself where "coming clean" and making those amends would be more damaging to me than to the person(s) to whom I'm "coming clean." The consensus of the meeting was that you yourself fall under the "others" category. So if you think trying to ask for forgiveness would do more harm than good, I think it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.
    In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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      #3
      Asking for forgiveness...

      I too feel that I have made amends by not drinking. Inam now connected to people and really able to be there when needed.
      Those most important people I hurt through my actions I did apologize to, profuselly, but those not so close to me I let my actions speak for me.
      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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        #4
        Asking for forgiveness...

        Thanks guys. There was just a person in particular that I felt like I needed to apologize to. It wasn't like we had a big blowout or anything, we simply stopped talking. And we didn't talk for quite some time but I realized when looking back that I wasn't the greatest friend while actively drinking. I just felt like I HAD to say something to her because everytime I heard about her or had seen her I felt like I should say something.
        Anyways....I did finally message her. Telling her I don't want an argument or anything, but we were oftentimes on different pages during our friendship and that I could have and should have been a better friend to her.
        She read the message. Facebook tells you when people do. She never responded. That's okay. I almost prefer it that way. That chapter is now closed but I am okay with the fact that she knows in some way. I wouldn't want her writing me telling me what a shitty person I am. Lol.
        On the flip side, she wasn't very supportive of me. Nor there for me 90% of the time.
        I don't need to have people walk over me or be a whipping boy but I just felt like in this situation I wanted to say something as we were friends for some long and I acted very childish near the end of it. Power tripping and always drunk too.
        Anyways.....
        We have to move on. Right?
        At the end of the day family is most important. And those that are and were always there for you and love you....

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          #5
          Asking for forgiveness...

          Bri,

          I think the most important person that must "forgive you" is you.

          For some of us, the list to apologize to all, in person, would look like the line of children waiting to talk to Santa Claus, at Macy's, on Christmas Eve.

          As Little Beagle said, actions speak louder than words. :l

          Patty
          "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
          so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."           :hug:

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            #6
            Asking for forgiveness...

            You're right Patty.
            Thank you. I need to not throw myself on the wayside. Which I do often and need to stop. I need to forgive myself too.

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