Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

[Anonymous11]

?She smiled darkly and shook her head. 'I'm not crazy. I'm not. Of course what else would a crazy person claim? That's the Kafkaesque genius of it all. If you're not crazy but people have told the world you are, then all your protests to the contrary just underscore their point. Do you see what I'm saying??
― Dennis Lehane, Shutter Island

I am not an Alcoholic. I do not even know if this is the correct forum or stage to ask for help, but nevertheless I need advice and here is a place to start. I have suffered from Rheumatoid Arthritis for a over a year now, and while it is not yet completely debilitating I do experience pain frequently. Dr.s have recommended drug after drug each having its own set of symptom relief side effect tradeoff, while none can help address the root issue with my health. Upon reading the results of more extensive testing I have found that I have bacterial overgrowth in my small intestine, a putrefaction commonly known as Fermentation / Small Bowel Bacterial Overgrowth (SBBO), this has what has been causing my joint inflammation. In addition to joints I discovered it is causing inflammation of every tissue in my body including my heart. My Dr. insists I stop drinking forever in combination with a brief fast and strict diet to kill of bacteria that is fermenting the food that I am eating in my gut. Drinking fermented beverages, alcoholic beverages, only contributes to this problem.

I have been drinking since I was 15 years old and now at age 20 in the crux of my college experience, I drink and party at an admittedly SOMEWHAT excessive level; however, not a completely over the top or above average amount relative to the point I currently am in my life. I do not need alcohol to have a good time. I do not want or need to drink for the rest of my life. But I do not know if, when, or how I could follow this new regime for health while in school. Every cocktail party, monday night football game, saturday tailgate, friday night out with my friends, how can I do it? Can I do it? Should I wait a few more years and give up when I am older, maybe two or three years, and have already lived my party days and feel that I did not miss out on that time of my life? My Dr. said within 5-6 months I could potentially be returned to good health but even then not be able to drink. Do I wait until spring and use that time to see how I feel in 6 months? I understand how important my health is, and hate being in pain more than anything. I still feel that people are being condescending by telling me how unimportant drinking is in the long term. It's easy for grown, married adults to tell me what I should and shouldn't do when they've already had their years of being care free. Everyone knows what its like to be the one at the party sober, even drinkers have experienced that feeling before on a night where they aren't feeling up to drinking but still want to go to the party. I don't know that I can be that sober person or that I would be able to keep my sanity at parties where everyones enjoying themselves and I can't even have the few beers that I enjoy drinking for reasons out of my control, and outside of a necessity due to my abuse of alcohol. Please, what do I do for these next few years before I leave my college days behind and have an easier time living a life without the parties and alcohol.

The reason for the quote I lead with is because I am not looking for help with my "alcoholism" or my "denial". The mere statement "I am not and Alcoholic" begs people to think, "what else would an alcoholic say he must be one". But, with that in mind please any advice, thoughts, prayers, or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated.

[available]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

hi there. Its funny but i have a son who just turned 21 and we had the discussion of his drinking too much the other day. He has the great potential to become an alcoholic in the future and he realises this. I said to him that alcoholism is a progressive addiction, we start off being able to control our drinking and in years down the track we are a in a terrible grip of addiction without realising it. I totally understand that he is young and wants to fit in, i did when i was younger (50 now) but alcoholism is in my family. He knows i am an alcoholic and i have spoken to him at length about this but in the end it is only his decision that he can make with my support.

Is your health not more important than fitting in? At the end of the day you will get older and you will move on probably from those circle of friends to create a new life for yourself. At the end of the day does it really matter what they think. At your age of course it does but only you can decide what is best for you.

If you want to party drink non al beer, no one will probably notice as long as you have a can in your hand. Someone who doesnt drink is not normal to people who do drink but the majority of people can go for weeks without a drink, i could not even go a day.

In a few years when you leave college life will you then have the "control" with al that you have now, the chances are slim. al has a way of sneaking in and taking whatever control you think you have, off you.

My early drinking was fun, i was in control, life of the party, did not drink during the week and only on weekends. at some stage i progressed to a couple of times during the week and weekends and ended up 20 years later drinking nightly and justifying myself by saying i deserved it, i was stressed etc etc. I would give every excuse as to why i deserved a drink.

The question i asked my son was; do you honestly want to end up like me? He said "no", the thought is in his head about what he has to face in future years and he knows his decision will lead to dire consequences. I can see the road he will travel as i have been there myself.

There are some great youtube docos on young drinking and alcoholism, i highly recommend watching them and realising that it could be you. If you think you have a problem now then you do have a problem which will only lead to disaster in future years. I know if someone had told myself that when i was 21 i would have thought "whatever" and now i wish more than anything that someone had tried to talk to me. The world is changing slowly with respect to al but only we can make the changes within ourselves.

I hope you make the right decision. We only have one life and living with an addiction is a horrible way to exist.

Good luck.

[sweetpea29]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

Hi Anon and welcome

I've just got in from work and briefly read over your post. Can't stick about long, so in brief, YES you should stop now for whatever time it may take to regain your health. I understand your fears and anxieties regarding the party lifestyle of a student, but as someone once said 'feel the fear and do it anyway' You have nothing to lose and everything to gain i.e. your HEALTH.

BTW I've had my years (too many) of being so-called 'carefree' and have so many regrets regarding alcohol and what it took from me. If I could go back and tell my 20yr old self- you don't need a drink to have a good time, fit-in, relax, whatever....I wouldn't have ended-up here on a site for alcoholics/problem drinkers, much as I love it and the good folk here

You don't need alcohol for any reason and if you're not an alcoholic then just do it- stop!
That isn't meant to sound flippant btw! Hopefully others will be along with better advice/guidance for you.

Best wishes xx

[sweetpea29]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

Thanks Ava much better advice from you :goodjob:

Hope you make the right decision for YOU Anon- best wishes again xx

[available]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

No Sweet i am with you. I wish i was that listening 20 year old also just being happy and enjoying life without al and i wish 20+ years later i was not on an alky site also but .........at our age we can only try and impart wisdom that we have learnt, whether they listen is another matter.

[Anonymous11]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

It is less the fear of fitting in than the fear of losing my sanity and the desire to drink in a healthy, responsible way. I do not care what peers think, I just want to enjoy my time for the next two years. My choice, at least for myself, would be easier if i was at a different point in my life.

I would like to thank you for your concern for the risks alcohol could lead to down the road; although, I don't feel that I am a huge risk. Im just ticked about the timing, and missing out on the time I had in which many drink and party.

[Anonymous11]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

Also, I wanted to add that like I don't want to sound like I feel that I have a problem, because I do not believe that I do. It is not for any drunken mistakes, horrible hangovers, or hurt family or SO relationships, but instead unfortunate health consequences.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

Re-posting here, too.

Welcome, Anonymous... first, a little about me: I'm a mom of 4 kids. I was #6 in my parent's line up of 7 kids, so as one of the younger children, I had the "privilege" or "punishment" to have 2 sisters and 3 brothers test the waters with my parents... by the time I came around, my parents were kid savvy.

They let me learn from my mistakes. I didn't make as many as my brothers and sisters, because they were there to give me advice.

Do you have any brothers or sisters that you are close to? Or perhaps cousins?

You see, Anonymous, I'm a stranger to you. I have a cute picture of a dog I befriended in Thailand as my profile picture.... a catchy name..... but at the end of the day, it's not me that has to stand by your side and see you in pain. It's not me that has to watch you struggle with this horrible condition that only you can truly describe. However, your parents, your siblings, your best friend.... they have to watch you.

I challenge you to ask them the same question: is the short term effect of alcohol worth the long term effects on my health?

When I read your post, I was deeply impressed by your writing style... you have a gift with writing. You are wise. You know how to articulate your thoughts and passions and fears. For me to say that your fears are misplaced isn't doing you any favors. They are yours, either to embrace or to change. You must decide.

I would gently encourage you to reflect upon your life in 10 years... when at 30, you'll have finished your degree, perhaps found a partner in life, perhaps a long term commitment or marriage, perhaps a baby or a cute dog that you've rescued? As you think about these things... well, how is your health? Do you envision your health as being a non-issue? Or do you see yourself in debilitating pain, with a beautiful row of multi-colored pills lined up on your kitchen counter, ready to arm you for the day's adventures?

And, at age 30, wherever you are in life, will you look back and say, "I made the right choice", or will you say, "I wish I would have stopped drinking".

The world will not end if you drink, Anonymous... well, it won't end for me anyway. Personally, if I'm at the same party as you, I don't give a rat's a$$ whether the person next to me is drinking cherry coke or cherry bombs. Through your spectacles at this point in your life, you see alcohol has the fun ingredient at the party. Think back to some of the parties you've been to, where someone got sloppy drunk... the theatrical... drama scene... and then someone probably "saved the day", or stepped up and took care of the crying girl with raccoon eyes and a red nose.... as someone puked in the corner, someone else is holding that girl's hair back... someone quietly stole the keys out of the cute guy's pocket so that he couldn't drive home.... These are also scenes from the "fun" party. The "heroes" I describe were the sober people.

Can there be fun at a party with alcohol there? You bet.
Can there be a fun party that's alcohol free? Without a doubt.

I wish you well, Anonymous. If you were my daughter, I would implore that you stop drinking, at least for 6 months, to see how your health will (or will not) improve. It doesn't mean that the rest of your life must be alcohol free, but right now, I think you should give your body every chance it can to become healthier.

Peace and hugs. Patty
__________________

[Turnagain]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

Hi Anon11 -

I am glad you found this forum and I’m glad you reached out. Many times when we ask for opinions from others, we are really hoping to find validation of behavior that we wish to continue. You definitely will not get that here - but you are getting a lot of good insight and wisdom from people who’ve been where you’re at right now.

The details may vary, but the core of our stories and experience with alcohol is the same. It says a lot that you haven’t bolted or disappeared at this point. It means you are open to taking in the information that can help you from making the same mistakes that we’ve made and regretted because of the eventual and inevitable addiction to a toxic drug.

I am not an alcoholic either. That term has no scientific basis, no universally accepted definition and it is socially and professionally stigmatizing. While I will not use the word alcoholic to label myself, I no longer use the drug alcohol and can confidently say I will never use it again. I know too much about it now. I understand its damaging effects to every cell in the body.

Wasted is a term I used as a bragging point back in my earliest drinking years. That term has new meaning for me now: I wasted time, I wasted experiences, I wasted relationships, I wasted money, I wasted my health and I wasted potential. Most of all, I wasted years of my life that I can never get back. Now that I am free of addiction and have done a lot of healing, I am finally living up to my potential and even going beyond. I truly wish I could’ve started living like this when I was 20. You have that chance. And you can thank your body and a caring doctor for giving you a 5-alarm wake up call.

Anon, a more accurate way of describing your present situation is that you are not addicted to alcohol....yet. BUT. Each and every drink still damages each and every cell in your body. Each and every time. This goes for each and every person, too - even so-called ‘normal’ drinkers.

A quick google will turn up all sorts of links about Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) and alcohol. There is growing evidence that SIBO may actually be caused by the drug, alcohol.

Moderate Alcohol Linked to Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth

In simplest terms, ethanol destroys the ‘good’ bacteria that lives in your gut and dramatically damages the delicate lining of your intestinal tract. That damage prevents your body from producing vital hormones and hinders the absorption of essential nutrients and minerals including Vitamin B12 which is critical for good mental health. Feeling overly anxious, uneasy or even paranoid? There’s more to the phrase ‘gut feelings’ than we realize.

This is just a small part of the picture of cascading, unseen damage caused by each and every single drink. Your chronic inflammation indicates a compromised immune system. Every drink makes it worse. Alcohol doesn’t change its acidic quality just because we say we aren’t ‘alcoholics.’

While your gut is giving you the 5-alarm warning, binge drinking causes the brain to go to DEFCON 1 to deal with the biological damage caused by each and every slammed down drink. Guzzle more than 3 of anything in a night in fairly fast fashion and you’ve placed every process that your brain takes care of in peril. Each and every time.

There is a common, but harmfully mistaken belief that alcohol’s damage is temporary and fairly insignificant - especially when we’re young. Yeah…hangovers are a pain but they pass and there’s always Visine for the bloodshot eyes. The FACT, however, is that the damage caused by alcohol is cumulative. There really is no such thing as 'responsible drinking.' Each and every drink adds to the damage. Each and every time. Even when we are young. And even if we don’t call ourselves ‘alcoholic.’

Here’s the scariest part for you. Research shows that alcohol is especially - and perhaps - permanently damaging to the growing brain. Your brain can actually gain an entire POUND in your teens to early 20s. Binge drinking robs you of white matter and grey matter where all the exciting new neural pathways are supposed to be forming. Drinking robs bright, beautiful people of their potential at precisely the most critical part of their neural growth outside of the womb. And for what? Having a ‘good’ time that can’t even be remembered half the time because alcohol slows down the vital functions to the point that the brain shuts down the short-term memory system to keep the heart pumping and lungs moving?

Anon, the fact that you are seeking something is a sign that you may just be one of the rare people who can look at the facts about alcohol and make a clear and courageous decision to stop damaging yourself now and the future self you deserve to be. I have never had more fulfillment and yes - fun - since I got addiction out of my life. There’s no way I can get back all those wasted years, but I sure as hell am not going to have even one more wasted moment because of any drug- ever again.

Your body has some healing to do. And it’s not going to get any better until you start keeping the toxin out. Alcohol is a drug. A damaging drug. An addictive drug. And alcohol damages even those who are not addicted. Those are the facts. Facts don’t change just because we can’t see what’s going on under the hood. Facts don't change because of how we label ourselves.

I encourage you to stick around here. There are a few younger people who are coming along and finding out that life without the alcohol haze is amazing. And us ‘been there-done-that’ types with some gray in our hair can also be a support if you let us.

I truly hope you can make the one decision that will give you a great life….instead of a wasted life. Do you see what I am saying?

[Byrdlady]

Was told to repost this here, thanks for reading

Welcome to MWO, great advice from all

I wonder what you "googled" to get to our site? How to stop drinking, maybe? Problem drinking? Then after checking out the site and seeing what its all about you joined, and posted. So far, your symptoms are consistent with how we all started, and you can see how we finished up. I will issue you the same challenge that was presented to me when I joined....do the 30 day challenge. If you sail thru it, dont think about 24/7, are able not to chew your own arm off by the end of 30 days, then you can probably rest easy that you are not 'one of us'. If however, you struggle and can ONLY think of AL and how great it is, and keep recalling the misty watercolored memories of the way we were...then you might want to stick around.
As Sweatpea said, you have two choices, and the choice you are fighting so hard for makes it sound like you have more of a dependency than you want to admit ( even to yourself). If you weren't, you would have quit already. In fact, giving it up wouldnt have been a big deal at all! People without AL problems dont give NOT having it a second thought. THAT is the difference.

When you give away your power over happiness to AL, AL wins. When you choose AL over your health, AL wins. If you think that living without AL is deprivation? AL wins. When you choose AL over managing your chronic pain, AL wins.
So in YOUR case, who is winning at this point?

So why dont you try going 30 days AF and see what happens....honestly, what can it hurt? You have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain! A win-win! Hop on over to the newbie's neat, we have folks in all stages of quitting... We can help you get thru the first challenging days. I hope you will decide to give your body a chance to do some healing. i have an autoimmune disease, also. Its 1000 times better without AL. The personality you think AL brings out thru AL, is still down there waiting to get out! You dont need AL to have fun....think back when you were a kid....when you experienced PURE JOY....No Al in site. Life is measured by the people and places you experience, not by whats in your glass.
Best of luck to you! See you over in the Nest! ( link below). Byrdie