So, for those who don't know I was running something like 16 or so oz of vodka a day, spread throughout the day...pretty much for years. Adjusted my "schedule" while I was working but always really really bad between jobs.
My plan had been to taper off this week (I started 3ish days ago) but with some encouragement here I decided to speed up my plan. I had something like 5 oz yesterday - I'm going to try for AF today but if not, it'll be tomorrow. I think if I say today and then don't I'll feel like I failed and be tempted to give up. If I plan for tomorrow but make it today I'll feel awesome, instead.
Which is 3 or 4 days sooner than I'd thought I would need. Especially since I also have to cut out caffeine other than my morning coffee (it's coffee again now, yay!) to make it work for me. I do also smoke though, and I'm not worrying about that until I get the liquor taken care of.
When I was lurking, I was mostly scared about starting to quit; even with tapering since I'd been drinking so much and it was so constant throughout the day. I also have anxiety issues so I was double worried that even if the withdrawals weren't bad, they'd trigger panic attacks.
It helped me to read stories about folks who had done it already so I thought I'd share mine.
I've definitely been twitchy and irritable, worst on the first day when I about halved my intake. I still am to one degree or another, but it's getting better. I also had a lot of leg spasms the first night - I hate those, but I've actually had worse before. My sleep patterns are wonky, but honestly they already WERE wonky with all the soda and liquor I was dumping in my body. Lightheaded at times, but it seems to pass if I get up and move or grab some juice. My appetite is meh - but again it already was. Food is tasting better though when I do eat it and it's easier for me to eat a few small meals spaced out. Before I was usually having a couple bites for breakfast, a decent lunch at a random time, and then often skipping dinner. My digestive system is out of whack, but again...it already was, at least now it is because it's starting to detox a bit.
My head and thinking feel a little thick, but I also feel more aware of things than I was. I noticed last night that the weather was gorgeous instead of just being focused on getting the dog to finish peeing so I could go back to my drink. And I actually wasn't sure if I wanted to finish my last drink...I probably should have poured it out at that point and I bet I would have been fine.
It was really nice when I ran to the gas station yesterday to know that if anything happened it wouldn't be because I'd misgauged and was still a little buzzing from my last drink.
I've told more people than I planned to (though didn't really get into how much I'd previously been drinking with most) and they've all been very supportive. I guess part of me expected lectures or "Omg what did you do that you made this choice?!" but everyone seems to take it in stride that I want to make some choices to make my life better. And I'm sure anyone who was concerned is even more pleased.
This got longer than I planned, but like I said, I read the heck out of the "Just starting out" threads when I was lurking so now everyone else has one more to read. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, is the important part. And I'm already feeling better about myself just for starting. I know there's a lot of work yet to go, but one day at a time!
My plan had been to taper off this week (I started 3ish days ago) but with some encouragement here I decided to speed up my plan. I had something like 5 oz yesterday - I'm going to try for AF today but if not, it'll be tomorrow. I think if I say today and then don't I'll feel like I failed and be tempted to give up. If I plan for tomorrow but make it today I'll feel awesome, instead.
Which is 3 or 4 days sooner than I'd thought I would need. Especially since I also have to cut out caffeine other than my morning coffee (it's coffee again now, yay!) to make it work for me. I do also smoke though, and I'm not worrying about that until I get the liquor taken care of.When I was lurking, I was mostly scared about starting to quit; even with tapering since I'd been drinking so much and it was so constant throughout the day. I also have anxiety issues so I was double worried that even if the withdrawals weren't bad, they'd trigger panic attacks.
It helped me to read stories about folks who had done it already so I thought I'd share mine.
I've definitely been twitchy and irritable, worst on the first day when I about halved my intake. I still am to one degree or another, but it's getting better. I also had a lot of leg spasms the first night - I hate those, but I've actually had worse before. My sleep patterns are wonky, but honestly they already WERE wonky with all the soda and liquor I was dumping in my body. Lightheaded at times, but it seems to pass if I get up and move or grab some juice. My appetite is meh - but again it already was. Food is tasting better though when I do eat it and it's easier for me to eat a few small meals spaced out. Before I was usually having a couple bites for breakfast, a decent lunch at a random time, and then often skipping dinner. My digestive system is out of whack, but again...it already was, at least now it is because it's starting to detox a bit.
My head and thinking feel a little thick, but I also feel more aware of things than I was. I noticed last night that the weather was gorgeous instead of just being focused on getting the dog to finish peeing so I could go back to my drink. And I actually wasn't sure if I wanted to finish my last drink...I probably should have poured it out at that point and I bet I would have been fine.
It was really nice when I ran to the gas station yesterday to know that if anything happened it wouldn't be because I'd misgauged and was still a little buzzing from my last drink.
I've told more people than I planned to (though didn't really get into how much I'd previously been drinking with most) and they've all been very supportive. I guess part of me expected lectures or "Omg what did you do that you made this choice?!" but everyone seems to take it in stride that I want to make some choices to make my life better. And I'm sure anyone who was concerned is even more pleased.
This got longer than I planned, but like I said, I read the heck out of the "Just starting out" threads when I was lurking so now everyone else has one more to read. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, is the important part. And I'm already feeling better about myself just for starting. I know there's a lot of work yet to go, but one day at a time!
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