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The Good and The Bad of having ADICTIVE PERSONALITY

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    The Good and The Bad of having ADICTIVE PERSONALITY

    Hello all,

    If you are on the forum it is likely that you have an addictive personality. Most frequently it is associated with having negative character traits, it does however, also make the person extremely goal oriented.

    Before my quit, almost two years ago, I was quitting almost every weekend. I was both a drinker and a smoker. After one particularly embarrassing night out I decided to quit for the millionth time and surprisingly to me still, I am still sober and smoke free, two years later. I am extremely happy and also curious why that time was special. As a drinker it was not the first time I embarrassed myself on a Friday night. It was not the first time that that I felt awful and guilty in the morning. But for some reason that time was different. Perhaps it is just a numbers game, like with anything else in life. Try enough times and you will succeed at anything.

    Addictive personality also brings out some traits in me that I believe add great value in my life. I am perfectionist, I am determined and goal oriented, if someone says "I can't" I hear "I can". In fact the best way to motivate me is to tell me I can't do something.

    However, I still do struggle with this character flaw / hidden power?!?!?! Since the beginning of the year I have tried to get into a very good shape. I exercise a tonne, eat well and then ruin weeks or months of training by going off the rails for a week. July and August I spent pretty much killing myself at the gym in the mornings and in the evenings. Always choosing the stairs if that was an option. And then all this progress would be undermined by a few days of uncontrolled eating. And it is incredibly frustrating to spend 25 days out of 30 being incredibly productive and focused, just to see all your gains erased in a few days. You have to eat every day, unlike alcohol, which you can refuse to drink permanently.

    I really do understand what it is like to really want something, working hard for it and then missing the goal because of a bad decision. I see many go through the same frustration with alcohol. They would make all the right choices for weeks or even months and then ruin it all by one bad decision, one yes in stead of a no, one slip, one misjudgement. I guess the moral of this story is that every quit brings us closer to our goal, every attempt that fails is practice. So try not to dwell on it, as hard as it can be, learn, remember and try again and again. Maths is on your side

    Have a good day everyone!

    Allan
    AF since 1st Sep 2012
    NF since 1st Sep 2012

    If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

    #2
    The Good and The Bad of having ADICTIVE PERSONALITY

    Allan
    I am glad you brought up this topic of "addictive personality", and mentioned the positive aspects to it. Too often this has a bad connotation to it... and in the case of overuse of AL or other negative things in our lives, it is well justified. HOWEVER, I wouldn't trade my addictive personality (if indeed that's what I have) for anything! You used words like- determined and goal oriented. I would add; driven, single-mindedness, and especially habitual. Personally I can get into a habit- I call them vectors or a direction and I simply do the same thing (seemingly) forever. For instance, if I want to eat clean, I can have the same healthy thing for dinner virtually every night (makes my wife crazy) but it works. Ditto training on my bike every day... ditto formerly having AL every night at 5:00 pm sharp. If I've learned anything through this process, it's been to accept my personality for what it is, and realize that it can be channeled for positive directions in my personal and spiritual life, and at the same time, if I am not vigilant, in destructive directions (and as they say in AA: the wisdom to know the difference).

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      #3
      The Good and The Bad of having ADICTIVE PERSONALITY

      Agreed! If we can go overboard on consuming AL, we can certainly find it within ourselves to go the other way NOT consume it....it's just the way we roll! Great observation and post! B
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
      Tool Box
      Newbie's Nest

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        #4
        The Good and The Bad of having ADICTIVE PERSONALITY

        The exercise/food analogy is excellent. Highlights the "crash" and its negative consequences in a way in which we can all relate.
        In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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          #5
          The Good and The Bad of having ADICTIVE PERSONALITY

          I'm also so glad to see the mention of using an addictive personality for good; I am definitely in that category. When I think about it, it's usually in terms of "Oh no, better be careful" but I like the rethink of using the traits to help solidify good habits instead. Thanks so much for the post and the food for thought!
          I am stubborn as a pig - but changing what I'm being stubborn about!

          Cigarette Free On: 9/23/2014
          AF on: 8/12/2014

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